Aliens!
Everyone’s favourite hypothetical curveball - where we speculate from every dark corner
of time and space at just exactly what horrifying creations are lurking out there in the grim
darkness of the universe.
For generations, science fiction has conceived some of the most ingenious and equally terrifying
concepts of creation.
Species of humanoids vastly similar or entirely different to our own.
The xenomorph, the Borg - or the Klingon and the Vulcan - but in recent times - a much
more genetically horrifying notion has proliferated itself across fiction.
That - of the Swarm.
An insectoid, all consuming alien race - and perhaps the most terrifying of them all, the
Tyranids - of Warhammer 40’000.
So, let’s strap on our Power Armour - fire up the bolter - and figure out, what the hell
we’d do if they were real.
Hello internet - what’s going on, and once again welcome back to the most inquisitive
channel on YouTube - Life’s Biggest Questions.
As per usual, I’ll be your disembodied floating voice Jack Finch - as today, we curiously
ask the question - What If The Tyranids Were Real?
Roll the clip.
For the curious amongst you, that clip was from 1997’s Starship Troopers - because
very quickly throughout this video, you’ll come to the realisation that, in fact - the
only good bug would be a dead bug.
That’s if we *want* to survive the Tyranid onslaught, of course - and Starship Troopers
does a great job to visually set the scene.
But also - take what you know about the Warrior Bugs from Klendathu, and then multiply them
by a trillion billion - because the Tyranids are far more terrifying, and on a much more
massive scale than we could ever comprehend.
But what are they?
It’s probably important that we paint that picture, isn’t it?
Well, essentially - in the fictional grim-dark universe of Warhammer 40K - the Tyranid are
the horrifying manifestation of the phrase - life finds a way.
They are a xeno-species of weaponised biology that has one prime directive.
Consume.
And reproduce.
In fact, the Tyranids aren’t an alien species in the conventional sense - but instead are
a form of a space-faring ecosystem comprised of endless, unfathomable numbers of different
bioforms - which are all essentially a variation of the same genetic theme.
Collectively, the Tyranids form a monstrous superorganism that ravages its way across
the universe - consuming entire planets in its wake - and adding their useful evolutionary
traits into their ever expanding biomass.
The Tyranids numbers are vast beyond counting - swarms so large that they block out the
very stars - yet each and every creature is but a single cell in the living body of a
single super-organism.
They are controlled through a psychic link known as the Synapse - which is found in every
Tyranid lifeform, from the smallest Rippers to the largest Norn-Queens - enacting the
will of the swarm on every level.
And that’s just the start of the Tyranids nightmare inducing notion.
And in fact - the quick answer to this question is - we better hope and pray that the Tyranids
are never real - because right now, in 2019 - we wouldn’t stand a chance against their
horrifying biological efficiency.
But - for the sake of our hypothetical enjoyment - let’s see what a Tyranid invasion would
look like.
For safety purposes, of course.
Because you never know what’s lurking out there, right?
The Tyranids first port of call when scouting out a planet to consume its life essence,
begins with subterfuge and infiltration.
One of the Tyranids many bioforms, is a creature known as a Genestealer - and guess what?
One of them just hitched a ride on a small asteroid headed straight for Earth - that
just so happened to crash into a remote portion of Northern Siberia.
That’s terrible news.
But it also gets worse - because the Tyranid Genestealer is bred exclusively to infiltrate
a population, and then begin impregnating a human host of any gender - creating a race
of Genestealer Hybrids - which eventually leads to what is known as a Genestealer Cult.
And guess what?
In this hypothetical scenario, a Genestealer Cult has begun to quickly emerge across Russia
- and then the rest of Europe, and then Asia - and then the whole planet.
You see - this particular function is pretty much why we wouldn’t stand a chance against
a Tyranid invasion - and that’s without counting the fact that their swarm is beyond
numerical comprehension.
The Tyranids are too efficient at destroying and consuming planets.
The role of the Genestealer Cult is to instigate a global rebellion - with the goal of weakening
the planet’s defenses over years - perhaps decades - sowing the seeds of chaos through
political, economic, environmental and societal means - before the main Tyranid Hive Fleet
shows up for dinner.
And if that’s the case - our Earth is currently looking pretty primed for a Tyranid feast.
After all, how are we going to even hope to defend our planet against a Hive Fleet swarm
when we can’t even decide whether Global Warming is a thing or not?
Yeah.
Priorities guys.
The Tyranids are coming.
In fact though, it doesn’t really matter what kind of political climate the Genestealer
Cult sows - because once the Hive Fleet shows up, that’s when it’s goodnight vienna,
so long - and thanks for all the biomass.
We wouldn’t stand a chance.
On the battlefield, Tyranid tactics are based around the notion of superior numbers - and
they often outnumber any and every one of their galactic victims by fifty to one.
Fifty to one guys.
The current population of our planet is just over 7.5 billion people - times that by fifty,
and we’re looking at an Tyranid form of 375 billion xenos.
Oh, and also - we’re not mentioning the fact that each and every one of their species
are perfectly adapted to combat against whatever military might we can even hope to fight back
with.
.50 Cal bullets?
They’ll just evolve denser carapaces.
Flamethrowers?
They’ll just evolve fire-retardant exoskeletons.
In fact, the very technology of the Tyranids is biological.
If they need certain weaponry - they’ll just grow it - and not only will they grow
it, but they’ll use our planets biological resources to do so.
As they consume more, and more - they only serve to strengthen their capabilities.
In many ways, they’re the perfect storm and swarm all rolled into one.
We’ve had to contend with Hive Tyrants, Broodlords, Tyranid Warriors, Lictors - Gaunts,
Gargoyles - Rippers - Carnifexes - Biovores.
Trygons.
Mawlocs.
Horrifying names for horrifying creations.
But still, it doesn’t end there.
Because even if - hypothetically speaking - we managed to somehow fight back against
the Tyranid swarm - destroying the Hive Fleet ship and severing their synaptic link from
each other - breaking their ranks and slowly chipping away at their numbers.
Even if we did all of that.
We’d still be screwed.
Because even the smallest molecule of Tyranid DNA can serve to repopulate it’s species.
They are the galactic equivalent of bedbugs.
If you’ve got ‘em - you better set your damn bed on fire for a few days.
And when we aptly apply that same principle to Earth - we’d literally have to cauterise
every damn corner of our planet, save for the fear of it being contaminated by Tyranid
DNA.
I mean - I’m sure you’re hoping for some kind of hopeful answer.
We’ve done far too many of these hypothetical scenarios that gleefully end with - oh, it’d
be the end of the world, but don’t worry - because we’ve got this trick up our sleeve.
But - the grim reality is this one is perhaps the bleakest of them all.
There wouldn’t *be* a happy ending.
You might be thinking - oh, but what if we created some kind of 11th hour energy forcefield
and lived under it whilst we rebuilt the planet? - no.
No.
Nothing would save us against the swarm, given our current levels of technology - at least.
Our only hope would literally be for our species to survive long enough without falling victim
to the savage thirst of the Tyranids.
And the only factor that’s down to is pure chance.
Long enough for us to have technologically advanced to a point where we’d stand a fighting
chance against the swarm - although it’d be a long and bloody battle either way.
How long?
Well.
Who knows?
Forty thousand years maybe?
Yeah.
That’ll do.
Well - there we have it, our long and short answer to the question - What If The Tyranids
Were Real?
We better hope that they’re not - else we’re all very much screwed.
What do you guys think?
Do you agree with our assessment?
Let us know your thoughts down in the comment section below - as well as your master plan
on how we could survive a Tyranid invasion.
I mean, every little counts, right?
Unfortunately folks, that’s all we’ve got time for in today's video.
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As per usual, I’ve been your disembodied floating voice Jack Finch - you’ve been
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