Help.
I'm in a low sex or no sex marriage, part three.
Hello, welcome to today's The Lesson.
Great to have you back with me.
We're having so much fun talking about what to do if you find yourself in a low sex or
a no sex marriage.
This is part three, so if you missed the first two parts, you probably ought to just stop
where you're at and go back and watch those two.
Because we're building, you know, this is a seven or eight minute little lesson and
we have to go day by day and lesson by lesson.
We're talking, in our last little lesson, that husbands who, particularly who are complaining
about they're not getting enough sex, so they're frustrated, one of the keys of course, and
again, there's some other things beside just one thing, but one of the things that husbands
need to know is that it's not just all about sex for their wives.
They love to be loved all the time.
If you're disregarding her and if you're not telling her every day, several times, that
you love her, telling her that she's beautiful to you, sending her little messages or texts
or whatever, being thoughtful, considerate, opening the door for her and those kinds of
things, you're not doing a good job.
You're just not doing a good job.
So you just need to get your act together a little bit and remember, biblically, you're
supposed to love your wife like Christ loves the church.
And that's a whole lot of love.
And Jesus doesn't just love the church when he gets ... every night before he goes to
bed.
Jesus loves the church 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
And that's what you got to do, see?
So what you're doing is, you're getting that slow burner cooking and you're helping your
wife to have more desire, all right?
All right, so that would be thing number one.
Now, wives ... Well, I think I'll save the wives thing, because that's going to be the
toughest for me to say.
So I'll just stick with the husbands.
So this way, wives, I'm talking to husbands so you can like me, okay?
You're not going to get mad at me, because I'm talking to what the husbands should do
if they are not feeling like they're getting enough sex.
Now, if your husband listens to what I just talked about and then our last lesson, he's
going to start treating you better and you're going to start responding a little bit, just
naturally, all right?
All right, so husbands, here's something else that you need to know about women.
They want to make love.
They don't want to be raped.
Some wives will confess that that's kind of how it feels, because the attacker comes into
the bedroom and he's like neanderthal and he's got one thing on his mind and it takes
him about four minutes and then he's done and then he goes to sleep.
Oh my goodness.
And you're wondering why your wife isn't a little bit more interested in sex.
Well, she's really interested in love, love.
But she's not interested in that.
You know, you got dirt under your fingernails and your breath smells bad and there's a booger
hanging out your nose.
You're neanderthal man.
You're not attractive to any woman.
So clean up your act and learn a little bit about hygiene and, again, love your wife like
Christ loves the church.
That's the commandment.
That's the injunction.
That's the mandate.
That's the challenge.So you got to work on this a lot, buddy, a lot.
Love making is not an event, it's a lifestyle that starts ... well, it never stops.
It never stops.
Marriage, it doesn't stop.
You don't snip it on and click it off, we're married, we're not married.
No, no.
You're married all the time.
You love this woman all the time.
She'll be much more responsive.
And then if you communicate to her and say, "Hey, honey, I'm commanded to love you like
Christ loves the church, so how can I do that better?
I'm wide open for your constructive, loving, criticism right now, even in the area of sex
and so forth.
Is there something I could do?
Is there something I need to change, something that could make it so ... make you happier?"
Because there you go, now you're talking God's language now, not thinking of self, but thinking
of others, thinking of my wife, loving my neighbor as myself.
So wife comes first.
How can I make this the best possible for you?
And not just sex, because you cannot separate sex from everything else in a woman's mind.
No, sir.
No, ma'am.
It's got to be every day, consistent, all the time.
I've said that so many times now, I'm getting tired of hearing myself say it, but I guess
we just need to keep saying it.
All right, and so open it up.
Don't say, "Now I sure wish you'd do this for me," or, "If you'd only ..." No, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
You've got it all backwards here.
You're supposed to be the leader.
You're supposed to be the big lover here.
So you got to ask her, "How can I make our marriage better and hey, also, how can I make
our lovemaking better?"
Because I want it to be as best as possible and I want to drive you crazy and I want to
just really be a great lover for you, but you got to tell me, because I'm kind of a
neanderthal here, so please help me out."
Then just listen.
Just listen.
When she tells you, if she has the nerve to tell you, just sit there humbly and say, "Oh,
okay.
Thank you so much.
I didn't realize that.
Okay.
All right.
Thank you.
Yeah, I will try.
Next time, I will do that."
Okay, and so now, hey, you're making progress.
And that's why it has been said, and again, I hate making these little trite sayings,
because oftentimes people get offended because they go, "That doesn't cover my category."
And it doesn't.
It doesn't, okay.
This is an overgeneralization.
But it has been said that there's no such thing as frigid wives, just bumbling husbands.
There is a lot of truth to that.
Now that doesn't cover everything, of course, so don't just condemn yourself poor husbands,
because there could be some problems on your wife's side.
I will talk about that as we get into some more detail here, okay?
So we're out of time for today's little lesson.
I hope you benefited by that.
Hope you practice.
All right?
Husbands, practice, practice, practice and reap the benefits.
Hallelujah.
Okay?
All right, hope you see you in our next little lesson.
God bless you.