Hello, it's Mark here from Make Him Yours, and today, we are discussing the emotionally unavailable guy.
How do you spot him and how do you handle him? Don't forget to download
the 10 Male Dating Personalities That Lead To Heartbreak and I'll see you in just a second.
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Welcome to today's video, and today, we are discussing the emotionally unavailable guy.
So this is a male dating type that I talk a lot about to women, and he gets underestimated
by a lot of women. You see, he may not be intentionally hurting you the way,
say, a narcissist or a controlling guy might be, but that doesn't mean he can't lead
to a huge amount of hurt feelings from you. So it's a very important guy for you to be aware of.
Now, before I get on with the video and tell you the signs of an emotionally unavailable guy, there's
one important thing I need to clarify. You see there's two types of emotionally unavailable guys.
The first one is the guy who's not ready for a relationship.
He's not ready to invest his feelings in you.
He's not ready to commit, to put time and effort into you, but there's also the emotionally unavailable partner.
This is the guy who is in a relationship with you but is unable to show or communicate feelings.
Now, in today's video, I'm talking about the first type of guy, but on Thursday, I have
a video out for you where we talk about the emotionally unavailable partner. Both of these
guys are really important, so make sure you tune in on Thursday as well to watch that.
Okay, how do you spot the emotionally unavailable guy, the guy who's not ready to commit to
a relationship to you right now? Well, the first thing is he tells you! He literally tells you.
He says, "I'm working through stuff right now." He says, "I have a lot of baggage."
He says, "I'm not ready to commit to a relationship right now." If a guy tells you he's emotionally
unavailable, you need to believe him.
Guys, don't say that unless they ARE emotionally unavailable.
So if a guy says that, he's emotionally unavailable until further notice.
Number two is a hot-cold dating pattern.
Now, by this I don't mean he's busy in the afternoon and then he comes back
the next day. I mean he literally goes three weeks on where things are going great,
and then the dude disappears for two full weeks. I see a lot of you in
the comments posting about these types of guys where a guy was around for a month and
then disappears for two weeks, or a guy was great for two weeks and then goes away for
a month and then comes back great again. If he has a really hot-cold avoidant dating pattern,
then it's likely he's emotionally unavailable.
Number three, he's had a recent breakup. If a guy's had a recent breakup,
say, in the last three months, or perhaps if he's had a divorce
in the last six months, he is at a high risk, a high risk of being emotionally unavailable.
Now, we've got two videos on rebound, so I'll put the link here and link in the description
as well. So if your guy has had a recent breakup, make sure you watch those videos. He is at
a high risk of being emotionally unavailable to form a new bond with you.
Number four, he's focused only on sex or wants only booty call style relationships.
So if a guy really frankly just wants to f^ck, or if the sex isn't leading to more
connection as time goes on, and he's just focused on getting that from you,
there's a strong chance that he's emotionally unavailable.
Number five, he fault finds. You're out with him and he's always picking
things that are wrong with other people. He's always judging others or perhaps
he's even judging you. A guy that's fault-finding is a perfectionist, and perfectionism is a strong sign of an
emotionally unavailable guy because he can use the faults as excuses not to commit to you.
Number six, he's never had long term relationships.
So when I do a discovery call with someone who comes to me, one thing I always want to know is what's the
history of the guy? Because if I know his relationship history, I have an idea how he works,
and I can give that woman better answers.
Sometimes, I do these calls, and the woman will tell me, "Oh he's never actually had a long-term relationship.
His longest relationship is four months and he's in his forties. He's never lived with a woman."
If the guy has never had a long-term relationship, and he's over the age of around 25,
then it's a strong indicator that that guy is emotionally unavailable.
Number seven, general flakiness.
I remember years ago briefly dating an emotionally unavailable woman, and the one thing that I noticed
was she was consistently inconsistent.
I'd always feel like I was at a little bit arms length from her and couldn't quite put my finger on why.
I'd always feel like there was part of her that was holding back.
She'd say one thing and then wouldn't follow through.
There was just something that didn't add up, and I felt like I was always being kept at a distance.
This is something you feel more than a specific sign, but you'll know when the guys being generally flaky,
when he's saying things and not following through,
when you just feel like there's a wall there, that he's keeping you at that distance,
it's a strong sign that a guy is emotionally unavailable.
So what do you do if you're worried that the guy you're dating might be emotionally unavailable?
Well, number one, remember, always invest in a man who invests in you. If you're vulnerable with a guy,
and he's not vulnerable with you back, and he doesn't connect with you back,
that's when you need to draw back a little and protect yourself.
Number two, if he says he's emotionally unavailable, if he says he's got baggage, or he's working through stuff
or isn't ready for a relationship, believe him. He is emotionally unavailable until further notice.
Number three, if he's exhibiting a hot and cold dating pattern where he's on for a week, off for a week,
on for three weeks, off for two weeks, and he can't explain his behavior and doesn't have a reasonable
reason as to why, then drop his ass. He's emotionally unavailable for you right now
and will be until he changes his pattern or explains himself.
Well, that's it. That's the emotionally unavailable guy.
In a few days, we are going to have that video as well on the emotionally unavailable partners,
so make sure you tune in for that.
Let me know what you think. Leave your comments below, questions, anything.
Have you had an experience with an emotionally unavailable guy in dating?
I'd love to hear about it. Make sure you give the video a thumbs up. Subscribe, hit the little bell,
and I'll see you in the next video on emotionally unavailable partners really soon.
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