Yeah, Jackie Chan, you old creep.
Go back to making Rush Hour.
Oh shit, here comes her parents.
Hey, don't pick on him, okay?
Don't even hurt him.
Okay, thanks for listening.
Hey, it's Dunkey.
I'm playing this new Shenmue III game called Sleeping Dogs.
And what I just say is let a sleeping dog lie,
is all I just say.
That's the way that they're gonna get their bone.
Shoulda seen him, man.
He was running around for like ten minutes with that one guy.
Ten minutes?
Uh oh. It's Dogeyes.
This guy's a troublemaker.
Aww, no he didn't!
[chuckling]
Ooooh!
[chuckling]
Oooooh!
[chuckling]
Wow, this place is really alive.
That Dogeyes guy's a real character, huh?
Excuse me, miss.
Excuse me.
I'm sorry, you're in my way.
Excuse me.
Could you just get outta the way, please?
Uh, you're gonna have to excuse me, miss.
Um, move.
Drinking soda? This is Shenmue-
Hey, he's not drinking that!
This game is a lie!
Here, this Dragon soda's gotta be better.
All you Asian people look the same to me.
Any DVD I want? You got RoboCop?
Sexy man? She's talking to me!
You can dress me!
Let her dress me!
Dress me!
Come on, dress me!
Get outta the way!
She's gonna dress me up!
Dress me!
She's all right.
She's fine. She'll be-
Listen here, you old bitch.
Gimme all the money.
Uh, I don't know where the money is!
I don't have it!
RRRRRAGH!
And SLAM HIM IN THE THING!
Okay, I found the money, here you go!
Beating up an old man?
You can't just go around beating up whoever you want.
GET OUTTA MY WAY!
Let's go stop him!
I know what you're saying.
Clothes make the man. That's why I got these orange pants, baby.
You see what I'm saying?
NOW WHERE'S THE TRIGGER?!
WHERE'S THE TRIGGER?!
WHERE'S BANE?!
WHERE'S ALFRED?!
Eh, go chase some fucking guy.
See, the problem here is you're not actually hitting it.
You gotta hit it to cut it.
Hey look, it's the fucking guy!
Hey fucking guy! I'm gonna get you!
I'm gonna get you!
I'm gonna catch you and I'm gonna get you and I'm gonna make you pay the money!
I'm gonna jump off the roof into a buncha glass!
Not get hurt at all!
And then knock this woman over. I'm gonna get you!
I'm gonna chase you through this thing!
Uh oh. Goons.
You look like you could... cool off!
I think it's time to... take out the trash!
I think I'm gonna put you... in this thing!
All right, the fucking guy.
I broke you and I beat you.
And now, I-
Uh oh...
Dunkey got caught!
By the police!
You don't have to be a criminal!
You can be a good guy!
He's a cop the whole time.
Man, this peepee-ass game.
Now we gotta watch him wash his hands?
This is Shenmue III!
I know you didn't drink it, you bastard.
Did he just throw it on the ground?
God, no wonder you have roaches.
Another day, another dollar.
[Woman 1]: What do you think of fried seahorse?
[Woman 2]: What's it do?
[Woman 1]: Supposed to make your man stay hard for three hours.
THAT'LL NEVER WORK!
Uh oh, Dunkey's going back to jail!
Good thing I have my chase music.
[singing]
All right, you thugs!
Get ready for my new move, rising sun!
Man, this BioShock-ass game...
Man, I hate this shit.
Important police business!
I need to commandeer your vehicle.
One second.
Gimme a second here.
All right, thank you. Thank you, miss.
Ah... home, sweet home.
After a hard day of good cop work.
What did I say about hanging around here?!
And you, with the purple sweater!
I've had it with your bullshit!
Get the fuck outta here!
Bada-bitch!
All right, we're done.
Hey look everybody, it's Kill Bill!
Gotcha! Hahaha...
[Amanda]: Can you drive a little less like you're trying to kill us?
Hey don't tell me how to drive you stupid fucking bitch.
I'll drive how I-
Let me in.
Dude, it's me, Dogeyes. Let me in there.
Oh, Dogeyes.
Oh, Dogeyes, oh, come on in, oh.
I don't know if I can let you bring these orange pants in there, though.
Hell yeah. Getting all the bitches in this game.
This is a good-ass game.
This is realistic.
What the fuck?
[sighing]
[sighing intensifies]
[deep, shaky breathing]
Happy Hippo! I am the winner! This is the best game!
You'll never make that hippo happy with singing like this.
You fucking suck!
Hey, listen here. Listen here, buddy.
I got the highscore on the hippo game.
And I'm gonna break your fucking aquarium.
See? Didn't I say I was gonna do that?
Inspector Shen, you're a cop.
You can't just go around breaking aquariums.
No, YOU'RE a cop!
Another day, another dollar! Again...
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING OVER HERE?!
DIDN'T I SAY GET OUTTA HERE?!
And this stupid bitch!
GRRRRRAAGH, WAAAAH!
Okay, we're done.
I'm not the rat. He's the rat!
Yeah yeah, he's the rat. He's the rat.
Heh heh heh.
Man, I was the rat the whole time.
Like I say, another day, another dollar!
Oh my god...
[enraged grumbling]