You’ve been serving your time, doing what everyone told you to do, which was keep your
head down, be polite but not overly friendly, don’t gamble, don’t borrow, don’t stare,
don’t take drugs and do what the guards tell you to do.
So far so good.
In spite of the fact that you spend a lot of time in a small box, it’s at least your
own box.
You’ve decorated the walls with photos of your family.
You have a shelf lined with educational books and classic novels you’ve always wanted
to read.
You keep the place spotless, and you’ve even got a small working area where you’ve
created some delicate and complex paper ornaments.
It’s not home, but you’ve done the best you can.
Then out of the blue there’s a bang on the door.
Your cell is going to be searched, or should we say, tossed like a Greek salad.
Even though you’re a model prisoner that doesn’t mean you won’t have your cell
searched.
Certainly at times the guards might have a tip-off about one particular person, but sometimes
an entire floor might get searched if guards believe something is being hidden in one of
the cells.
You might be the good guy, but who says you haven’t been ordered to hide the thing they
are looking for.
Prison is sometimes a place where saying no is not an option.
What would guards usually be looking for?
Well, weapons for one thing.
If some dude has been sliced down the cheek or has a hole in his back, then a weapon was
used.
The tool might be a knife-life device, sometimes called a “shiv” or a “shank” and prisoners
can be quite ingenious about concealing those things.
What that ingenuity means for you is nothing in your cell will be left unturned.
The guards aren’t going to look under the bed and give you the all clear.
“Ok, officer Johnson, nothing to see here, Let’s move on to the next cell and check
under that bed.”
That’s not going to happen.
Prisoners can sharpen bits of tin and then connect it to a toothbrush or something else,
and that sharp object can usually be hidden in all sorts of places.
In bedding, in clothing, in books, in light fittings, even concealed in food items.
You might also have drugs concealed in deodorant bottles.
Pills that have been crushed and made into a paste that can go unnoticed in things like
toothpaste.
So, if guards are looking for drugs or weapons they are going to go through everything.
Your cell will literally be turned upside down and inside out.
If guards are looking for prison booze, sometimes called pruno, or hooch, or mash, that isn’t
exactly easy to hide.
If you get searched for that, it will very likely be found.
In some Arizona prisons the hooch would be kept in the ceiling where the intense heat
would speed up the fermentation process.
How do they manage to make booze inside you might ask?
Well, it’s a pretty simple concoction made from various fruits, candies, raw sugar, water
and bread for the yeast.
Leave that to ferment with the occasional burp so it doesn’t blow up, and you have
a drink that most prisoners look forward to, if not call “nasty.”
Some brewers are better than others, and if you’re good you might just get on the right
side of some fellow prisoners.
The guards might also be looking for contraband of any sort, which just means prohibited goods.
What’s prohibited all depends on where you are imprisoned and what privileges you have.
There’s a big difference from playing Mario Kart on a game console to looking at four
walls in a Maximum security hell.
Ok, so now you know why you might get searched, let’s have a look at how the operation happens.
Firstly, you will likely not know that you are going to get searched, but if something
has gone off in the prison you might well know it’s coming.
Prisoners have a “sixth sense” regarding what’s around the corner.
Those guys who come to visit you have all been told how to conduct a search, and one
thing that is drilled into them is never, ever be complacent.
Never underestimate how good these guys can be at hiding stuff.
You are staying in what might be called a gallery of cells, how most of us think about
prison.
But let’s remember prisoners might also stay in a large dormitory, each sleeping on
a bunk.
Today is a search of your ordinary one-man prison cell.
How this will go down might depend on why you are being searched.
If it’s just a routine check then it might go a bit smoother than if it’s a search
following an attack in which an alleged snitch got a stitch or ten.
This is also a good time to tell you that we are talking about prisons in the USA today.
It’s very likely that prisoners in Norway, even if they are in for serious crimes, will
be spared the loss of dignity during a search.
It’s also likely those prisons aren’t filled with gang members fashioning shivs
out of melted Jolly Ranchers.
On those routine searches you might just be asked to wait outside.
The shakedown might only be a quick look around.
Sometimes the guards aren’t looking for anything in particular, but they do perform
a cursory search to see if there is damage to the cell.
Missing bits of plastic or metals might mean some sinister craftsman is making a weapon
from what you gave him.
Sometimes the guards will just be looking to see if the cell looks exactly like it should
be.
There’s also the fact you might have annoyed some guards or be seen as a threat, and while
you’ll hear some guards saying they never go in there to totally disrupt the place,
it certainly does happen.
Nonetheless, in most cases they will need probable cause for a proper shakedown.
In this case you might get your “house tossed” and that means after the search your cell
is going to look like a bear and gorilla just went toe-to-toe in there.
We know, we talk a lot about bears and gorillas here at the Infographics Show, but we think
this is a good comparison.
Every page of every book will be turned, and no, they won’t place all your books neatly
back on the shelf in the alphabetical order you had them in.
The spines of the books is where a lot of contraband is often hidden, so your books
might get damaged.
Any fabrics, such as bedding will get torn and the filling might be pulled out and inspected.
They’ll open any container, looking for compartments you might have made.
If there are drawers, they will be rifled through and the contents might just get thrown
on the floor.
They have to empty that thing and it’s not like they are going to fill it for you again.
If they find some petroleum jelly container in there, they might open that up and even
shine a light in there.
And yes, they might open up your beloved food packages.
Why, you might ask, if they’re sealed.
Well, prisoners have been known to open stuff and reseal it.
They might also have got something in there through a very small hole.
As for those many letters sent by your loved ones, they will also be rifled through.
Envelopes can be a good hiding place, especially if there is a stack of them.
Some prisons don’t even allow envelopes, but if it's legal documents they might not
have a choice.
The guards will also search every nook and cranny of the cell itself, from the edges
of the shelf, to the lights, to the bunk, to the sink, and into the toilet bowl.
Razor blades can be embedded in frames, while roof tiles might have been moved to get something
in between them.
Also, where the toilet and sink meet the wall there might be a small crevice to hide things.
If there are electrical appliances in there they might open them up.
You might not have a screwdriver handy and the guards know that, but they also know you
guys have a lot of time on your hands to make something that will open that appliance.
Even an old pair of stinky shoes might get pulled apart, if they really think you are
hiding something.
At times you might be handcuffed or strapped with ties and while your room is being torn
apart you are being stripped searched.
This can happen in the middle of the night and fast.
In some cases when you return it will look like your cell has been ransacked and things
might well be torn and broken.
It might also happen while you’re working or eating.
So the type of search or shakedown all depends on what’s happened, if anything at all;
who you are, what you might allegedly be hiding, and the personality of the guards and the
prison itself.
It can be ruthless but it can also be smooth and tidy.
Your paper ornaments and books and food items might all get ripped apart, or it might look
as if no one has been in there.
It all depends on the situation.
We’ve got more great videos on life in prisons and other crazy stories so click this video
over here or we’ve also got this great video over here!