Stay tuned and I'm going to tell you in this video.
Hey there, I'm Rebecca Zung.
I am an attorney.
I am a narcissist negotiation expert
and on this channel and in these videos,
I tell you how to shift the power dynamic with the most toxic personality on the planet
and if that sounds good to you, if that sounds like something that you want to be able to do.
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Okay. So let's talk about Jon Gruden.
This whole thing has totally rocked the world of the NFL
and really the entire sports world this past week
and I have been watching it very closely too because
how the NFL and the Raiders handled it was a perfect and beautiful example of exactly
what I teach on how to put put pressure on narcissist and how to get them to do
exactly what you want them to do
and in a way that doesn't have anybody
feeling bad doesn't have anybody angry.
That everybody leaves in a way that creates a peaceful resolution
and everybody walks away and hey,
Is Jon Gruden happy right now?
No, not necessarily.
But everybody got what they needed.
It ended in a way that it needed to.
So let's talk about this
because for those of you who think I can never win,
I can never get the narcissist to do what I want them to do.
I want you to see how the NFL
and the Raiders handled this
because it is a perfect example of exactly
what I teach when I tell you how to use my slay methodology to negotiate with narcissist.
How to put that pressure.
How to get a narcissist to feel like they want to be motivated
and incentivized and squeezed into doing what you want them to do
and then they ultimately have to do what you want them to do
and this is a perfect example of that and I'm going to tell you how it happened.
So this is the real reason.
The real reason Jon Gruden actually ended up resigning.
Okay. So let me give you a little bit of background.
So there was this investigation into the Redskins that started a few years ago
because there was a toxic work environment.
So lawsuits were filed.
As a result, 650,000 documents were produced.
So lawsuits when they're filed become basically public domain,
you know, people can go to court houses and they can
look at documents and they can you know, bore people.
They do that sometimes.
So this information is there.
Okay?
So somehow the information is,
you know, leaked to the NFL.
The NFL gets hold of a lot of these documents.
Okay.
Part of what's in these documents are emails that went back
and forth ten years ago or something like that between Bruce Allen and Jon Gruden.
Now, by the way, I just have to say as an aside,
the whole thing kind of breaks my heart about the Washington Redskins
because I'm a lifelong Redskins fan.
I did grow up as a Redskins fan.
I’m from The Washington area.
I grew up in McLean, Virginia and I went to Redskins game.
So, you know the whole thing does sort of break my heart,
but that's totally an aside.
Anyway, going back to the situation.
There were these emails that were racist misogynistic and homophobic,
three strikes that are really bad especially today.
Okay.
So Jon Gruden said
these things are in black and white there in print.
He can't go around saying, oh, you know,
it took out of context or whatever.
I can't like reframe them in some way.
So what is the NFL do?
They leak one little set.
They know there's nothing they can do about this
and the NFL does not want to be seen as protecting or fostering
any kind of a culture that is having a racist misogynistic or homophobic.
I mean, especially after the fallout from Penn State with the child molesting
and the Hollywood stuff with the me to scandal.
All these things that were have been
happening over the course of the last several years.
It just can't have that.
So they go to
I'm sure they go to Mark Davis, the owner of the Raiders and they go,
Hey, listen, this is thing is happening.
They don't have any real reason right now to fire
Jon Gruden, it's not like he's doing anything now that's bad.
But they kind of like don't really want him in there right now because of this situation.
So they need to figure out a way to get him to go.
So what do they do?
Use my slay methodology.
That's what they do.
They take one little set of emails.
So I'm telling you this is how it works.
Every narcissist. There's a hierarchy of narcissistic supply.
Remember supply is anything that feeds a narcissistic ego?
So supply can be the good things
which is how they look to the world,
prestige, money, compliments, adulation, prestigious jobs like,
oh, you know, for example, being a head coach of an NFL football team or they can be control
devaluing people all that sort of thing too
but there is this the hierarchy, right?
Hierarchy. Diamond level supplies.
How you look to the world diamond level.
They will protect that more than anything.
So when you are creating your leverage, when you're looking at your strategy.
Strategy, leveraging, anticipating, focusing on you when you're creating your strategy,
when you're creating your leverage,
you look at that hierarchy
and that diamond level supply is always going
to be the thing that they protect more than anything.
So the NFL knew that.
They knew that he was going to look at his reputation
and protect that more than anything.
So, what do they do?
They only release a few of the emails.
Not all of them.
See, look at the strategy.
Look at the leverage because if they release them all,
there goes all the leverage.
It's done.
Strategy and leverage. Okay.
So what does he do?
The first thing he does is he apologizes.
Okay, comes out he apologizes.
I mean, how many times have we seen these public people
come out with these hollow apologies,
like not saying that he's a narcissist.
I don't know, but I'm not saying he's not.
Okay, and I'm not saying his apology was insincere.
Who knows?
By the way I do have a whole video on
Do narcissists apologize?
and if so, do, they mean it?
which you can certainly check out if you'd like.
But anyway, he apologizes.
Is that good enough for the NFL at that point?
Well, obviously not because what do they do?
They release the second set of emails at that point.
A little sprinkling of more more pressure strategy, leverage
and then what do they do?
They're anticipating what he's going to do next.
What are they doing?
They're focusing on their case.
You your case, your position.
Are they defending themselves? No.
Slaying. Their slaying their negotiation.
This is exactly what I teach.
I'm so excited about this.
Okay. So what happens next?
Now there's a behind closed door meeting with Jon Gruden and Mark Davis,
the owner of the Raiders and then suddenly Jon Gruden decides to resign
and why does he decide to resign?
Because he's protecting his diamond level of supply
which is his reputation because what would have happened.
Had he not resigned either more emails
probably, which would have been way worse.
Really really damaging to his diamond level of supply
or he would have been fired.
Again more damage to his diamond level supply.
They will always go to protect and defend their diamond level of supply.
So that is always going to be the key.
Remember when you're strategizing and you're creating your leverage.
What is going to be a way that you can create leverage
so that they will protect their diamond level supplies.
That you can threaten a source of supply that's going to be more important
for them to protect and defend
and maintain so that they will let go of the supply that they get from jerking you around
or intimidating you or in some other form of supply.
That is always how you slay your negotiations
and that is what happened.
So he had to let go of this other form of supply that he was getting
which was being the head coach of of the Raiders
and so he resigned and so they slayed the negotiation.
It was a perfect beautiful example of exactly what I teach
and they did it in a way that allowed them to maintain the respect.
It allowed him to maintain
and defend and protect whatever was left of his reputation
that he could protect and both sides
walked away relatively unscathed, right?
So that's exactly what I teach
and if you are so ready to slay your own negotiation.
Give me a slay in the comments right now
and if you are so ready to win your own negotiation.
Go ahead to winmynegotiation.com right now and grab your free ebook.
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Thousands of people have won their entire negotiations just on that.
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I'm so glad that you stopped by here and make sure that
you know that today is a great day to start negotiating your best life.
I am Rebecca Zung
and I will definitely see you in my next video.