-Hey, looking good, buddy.
Welcome to the show.
Thank you so much for doing this.
I appreciate this. I like the little Halloween back there.
This is very --
See? Come on. You're a good man.
I want to get into so many things.
But first, the final presidential debate was tonight.
And we shot this interview earlier today before the debate.
But you've been live-tweeting every debate so far.
It is fantastic.
Is it therapeutic for you in a way?
-It's weird, yes.
It's very therapeutic in that I tweet stuff out about
what I'm seeing to make a "joke" about it,
but then I'm realizing and if you watch as the night goes on,
my tweets turn into, "Did he just s--
like, that's insane what he just said."
And then I'm looking at the replies,
and everyone on Twitter is going,
"Yeah, that was -- it's not you. You're not hallucinating.
He said that. It's okay."
Like, we now need Twitter
for reassurance as to what reality is.
-In this debate tonight, they are introducing muted mikes,
the mute button.
-I mean, there's a mute button at a debate!
That's where we are!
-What is going on?
What would you do if -- What measures would you put in place
to make sure the American people
got the debate that they deserve?
-I would have little flamethrowers
facing up from the podium that they could see.
There's no surprise here.
And first infraction, we just light the pilot light.
You see the little pilot light come on.
Second one, quick little burst.
And then third one,
we just go full Sigourney Weaver in "Alien."
-[ Laughs ] -Just blast everything.
-Little burst. -Yeah.
-One of the things we always end up talking about
is music on our show.
But you said that you are impressed with
Biden's music choices when compared to Trump's.
-I mean, not just Biden's music choices
but Biden's music access.
Did you see the ad for the Blind Pig
where in the same ad -- -Yes.
-Iggy Pop, The Breeders, the Pixies, and the Beastie Boys!
-Beastie Boys! -In the same ad.
Now, Trump at best has Lee Greenwood, maybe Kid Rock
and then that free music
that you hear podcasts use all the time.
Like, the standard rock thing.
Whatever it is you don't have to pay for.
And then whenever he uses any good song,
the artist immediately puts -- "I am not --
I don't want my stuff there. I don't want to be associated."
So when you watch the Blind Pig ad, A, for you and me,
for Gen X, that was a bunker buster,
having all those bands in the same ad.
We're like, "Well, you own Gen X now. You have us."
-I couldn't believe that. -But also you've got to know
that if someone our age who is a Trump supporter
is watching that ad, they're like,
"Everyone that I ever loved through the '80s and '90s
thinks I'm an idiot right now."
-Yeah, like, Neil Young is like, "Stop, just don't even try."
-No. Exactly.
-I want to talk to you about
what you're doing for your new special.
First of all, congrats.
Your Netflix special "I Love Everything"
was nominated for an Emmy. Congrats on that.
I haven't had a chance to congratulate you
and say that was awesome.
But you were in great company.
Mulaney, Hannah Gadsby, Seth.
-Seth Meyers and Dave Chappelle.
-Oh, Chappelle. Yeah, of course.
-Who I happily lost to.
-You and Chappelle though -- Is this story --
I heard this is true.
Did you and Dave Chappelle start on the exact same night?
-I remember it as the exact same night.
He said it was the same week.
We both came out of Washington, D.C.
It was July 18, 1988, Garvin's Comedy Club, Tuesday night.
He was 14 years old. I was 19.
He went up. -14.
-He took the stage like he had been doing it for 30 years.
It just -- it was the most natural -- you just --
"Oh, this person is going to be a gigantic star."
He absolutely killed.
And then he told me later on, because I said I was hanging out
with him recently at all places, at Eddie Murphy's house.
We were hanging out, and it was the weirdest --
That's a whole other story. -I can't wait, yeah.
Save that one. -We were talking about that.
He goes, "Yeah, but what you forget is,
I had that great first night.
And then I couldn't get a laugh for like a year later,"
which really -- which has happened to a lot of comedians.
David Cross and Brian Regan both talk about how the first time
they went on stage, they annihilated
and then they could not figure out how to make that
happen again for like a year, and that really messes with you.
-It really does. You're like, "What did I do?"
What was the secret of that night?
Was I just in a better mood?"
That's so interesting. -Yeah, but luckily,
on my first night, I didn't have the disadvantages
that Dave Chappelle had.
I completely ate it.
Had nowhere to go but up.
-[ Laughs ] You set the bar low.
-Yeah, not only did I eat it, I had that thing --
I'm sure you've had this happen too --
where the one "laugh" I got was from another comedian.
But he gave me that kind of polite, like,
"Ah, I see how you were trying to get --
I appreciate that you were trying to get to a joke.
You didn't get to a joke, but I will acknowledge the effort."
You've heard that before, haven't you?
-Oh, it's my favorite. The left side of the room at The Improv.
That's where all the comics would be, and if you do a thing,
you would hear somebody go like, "Ah."
-[ Laughs ]
Ugh! That's the whole, like -- -That's exactly right.
-"I acknowledge your effort, but you failed."
-But you're doing actually a live virtual special tomorrow.
-I'm going to be doing an actual sitting down --
I tried to work out a way to, like, walk around with a mike.
But I haven't worked -- This is going to be me
sitting and talking intimately. -Yep.
-And I was very nervous about doing this
because I'm just addicted to I go on a stage.
But I've been starting to watch online shows.
I watched Brian Posehn's special.
I watched Maria Bamford's special.
And there's a regular show called Keep Your Distance...
-Oh, really? -...that does an online show.
And they're really, really good.
And also Mike Birbiglia has been working out ways.
-I've seen some of Birbiglia's things, yeah.
-You know this. Comedy always mutates and changes its form.
And right now this is how it has to be.
And I really love doing comedy, so I don't want to not do it.
So you're going to get to tune in and see the terror of me
trying to do this in a way I've never done it before,
which I hope that in itself will be entertaining.
-It's going to be great. I cannot wait to watch on Friday.
Patton Oswalt, everybody.
His new special, "Patton Oswalt: Arm's Length,"
is streaming live tomorrow night at 9:00 p.m.
at onlocationlive.com.
Thank you so much for being here, buddy,
and best to the fam.