These pants may be square but, how deep are the pockets?
What is SpongeBob's net worth?
Well, to answer that we must weigh his yearly earnings against annual expenses.
Plus his total assets.
Meow.
Between a pet snail, home ownership, and constant boating school tuition,
costs can really add up, even for a workaholic.
Look Mr. Krabs! Clean floors!
Question #1. How much money does Spongebob soak up every year?
As a fry cook at the Krusty Krab, Spongebob is a critical factor
in Bikini Bottom’s most popular restaurant.
One Krabby Patty please.
- Oh! - Mr. Krabs!
Still his employment under Eugene Krabs only earns this fry cook minimum wage.
The Krusty Krab hours of operation show us that Spongebob works a total of
82 hours per week.
Ah. It warms me wallet to see me employees coming in so early.
[panting]
We know Spongebob was hired in 1999.
For years I’ve been dreaming of this moment!
And that Bikini Bottom is located within boating distance of California.
So we can gauge that 82 hours a week at California minimum wage, for 21 years,
should have earned Mr. Squarepants a total career earnings of over $700,000.
There ya go! I kinda have more money than I know what to do with right now.
But, Spongebob wasn’t earning money when he first started at the Krusty Krab.
Was he?
When I started working here, I had to pay Mr. Krabs a $100 an hour. A $100 an hour.
Talk about owing a debt of gratitude. Most trial hiring periods last 3 months or
roughly 13 weeks. Let’s estimate that Spongebob initially paid Mr. Krabs
a total of $106,600 when first becoming employed.
Then there’s one more thing leeching at Mr. Squarepants’ paycheck.
Oh boy! The mail’s here! What do we have today? Taxes…
Taxes would cost him on average, $5,362 per year. Between taxes and initial
debts to Mr. Krabs, this sinks his total career earnings down to
less than $500,000. That’s right. Say goodbye to over $200,000.
I don’t need it. I don’t need it.
Question 2. What are Spongebob’s annual expenses?
As a sea sponge, Mr. Squarepants isn’t required to consume food
in order to survive. Though his relationship with Krabby Patties might
suggest otherwise.
- But it’s good for you. - Good for you?
- That thing is a heart attack on a bun! - No Squidward, I meant...
Good for your soul.
But assuming that Spongebob doesn’t need to pay for his own Krabby Patties,
we won’t factor that in. Someone who does need food to survive,
is Spongebob’s beloved pet, Gary, the snail.
I have all the cans marked. A can in the morning and a can at night.
We can assume that Gary’s annual expenses are similar to the standard house snail.
Which would equal about $200 for food costs, $250 for snail litter,
and $100 for medical expenses.
- Yes, yes, it’s just as I thought. - What?
This is definitely a snail.
And like fish need gills, the economy needs bills.
[laughing]
A gas bill for a one bedroom tropical plant would run about $900 per year.
And an electricity bill? How about $700 per year.
Oh!
[laughing]
Then of course, there’s boating school tuition.
Hi Mrs. Puff! Today is the day I’m gonna pass my boating exam.
We’ll see about that Spongebob.
Driving lessons cost, on average, $500 per course.
Most students only need to take driving lessons once or twice.
But it’s apparent… But it’s apparent this has been a reoccurring expense.
[moans]
Don’t worry Mrs. Puff. I’ll try harder next semester.
No!
Those are the necessities but what about fun and amusement?
Between the bubble blowing, trips to Glove World,
and the occasional splurge at Weenie Hut Jr’s,
we can assume an additional $1,000 annual entertainment expense.
I hope this doesn’t put a damper on things. But, I just checked,
and well, it’s just that all my money is… gone!
So, where does that leave us after earnings and expenses?
Just over $400,000.
- Alright! Give the money! - Will that be from your savings
- or your checking account sir? - Uh, savings.
Finally. Question 3. What are Spongebob’s current assets?
Sir, we are showing a balance of zero dollars and zero cents
- for both of your accounts. - Oh.
If Spongebob has no money in the bank,
then where has all of his earned income gone?
Well to answer that, let’s review the one major asset owned by Mr. Squarepants.
♪ Oh, who lives in a pineapple Under the sea ♪
That’s right. We know that Spongebob paid for his pineapple, in cash.
It’s beautiful. I’ll take it!
Now how much is that iconic, orange abode worth?
Some financial experts have valued this residence at $18,000,000?
Idyllic location, upscale features, and an architectural tour de force.
This is an exceptional piece of real estate.
Others have valued this residence at $2.75 per pound. So, which is it?
Uh… I don’t know.
We can calculate the median listing price for homes in the region
at $26.25 per square inch.
If Spongebob himself is 2 inches tall,
then we can estimate that this 3-story pineapple is about 942 square inches.
A total worth of nearly $25,000.
Ooh!
But, let’s not forget the biggest variable in real estate.
Location, location, location.
Walking distance to all the best spots in Bikini Bottom.
Expensive views and a lush yard.
Spongebob’s estate easily floats the value of this property
up to $600,000.
Aw! Good old pineapple! It's exactly like it used to be!
Now, let’s circle back to his savings. It’s clear that Spongebob has
put all of his extraneous earnings into home renovations.
If your expected rate of return is 80% of your investment, then a conservative
estimate of Spongebob’s net worth is nearly $1,000,000!
- That’s right! - Yeah!
There you have it. The most expensive piece of fruit in the entire ocean
is owned by the hardest working fry cook in Bikini Bottom.
What other questions do you want answered?
Like and subscribe and get your water wings ready for the next investigative
deep dive with Inside Bikini Bottom.
[laughing]
At first, we didn’t know what to do with all the money.
We tried burying it,
- shredding it, - Ah!
and burning it!
[screaming]
But in the end we decided to just give it all away.
- Come again, sir! - I’m gettin’ back in line!