So I was at a friend's house warming party a few months ago
and I get really anxious when I'm in a situation where I don't know a lot of people very well.
So I do what a lot of us do. I drink.
So tell me about yourself.
Uh . . . well . . .
*Ding*
Whoa, how many cats do you have?
Six cats really isn't that many, it's not . . .
*Ding*
I don't like you.
Oh, okay.
No, I, I'll still take it
I probably need it now more than ever.
*Ding*
And I know I shouldn't, but I can't help it because when someone says:
Yo Anna, do you want another shot?
I hear:
Yo Anna, are you fun?
*Ping*
and though party was super fun, and everyone was really great.
I kind of ended up going past the knowledge of my limit.
You know what I'm talking about, right?
You know your own alcohol limit for a 100 pound 27 year old woman
it's usually about two. When you go beyond this limit the knowledge of your limits lies completely out the window.
I may be drunk right now.
So of course I had to throw up.
I have to throw up.
Okay Anna,
just find a tree or a trash can or a sew- oh wait...
Oh wait, do sewers go back to the ocean?
Cause I don't want to throw up on dolphins.
WARNING
You are in the middle of the street at night.
Get the fuck up. I repeat, get the fuck up.
Holy fuck, holy shitball, omg, get up.
Get the fuck inside, I repeat, get the fuck inside.
I feel really lucky that my body's innate sense of fear of the night, strangers and potential harm woke me up.
Because who knows how long I would have been passed out on the street.
I mean, maybe my friend would have eventually come looking for me,
but who knows what could have happened before then.
I mean honestly can you recall any time in your life when you passed out
and then woke up and something great occurred?
I'm sure this is a lesson we all learn eventually right?
To know your limits, to hydrate between shots...
The unfortunate thing is I think some people black out and have to learn this lesson again and again and again.
But if there's any lesson, that's stuck with me, it's: "Don't pass out in the street!"
At home? Fine.
At a friend's house? Fine.
On the toilet? Not ideal, but fine.
I'm Anna Akana
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