Hello and welcome! My name is Heather, I'm a Registered Professional Counsellor and
a certified life coach and today I'm going to be doing a character analysis of Joe Goldberg
from Netflix series YOU. Before I get started make sure to subscribe so you get more analysis
videos like this. Okay let's get to the show! Joe Goldberg is a bookstore manager, appears harmless
and even charming at times; however we quickly learn that he stalks the woman he wants to date
and becomes obsessed with them. Joe's stalking of his girlfriends range from the physical world to
the virtual world. Thanks to social media and the internet, Joe finds information about them, such
as their home addresses, names of close friends, daily schedules, hobbies and more. In addition
to following them around, breaking into their homes, and stealing their personal belongings
as mementos, he goes as far as killing the people around them who he believes are threats. He seeks
love in woman he idealizes and his desires to be understood is projected onto his love interests.
His quest to be loved feeds his delusions that manifest his relationships. His delusions
surrounding his romantic connections with women presents as delusional disorder of erotomanic type
as he often fantasizes about his future with these women and his inner monologue within his internal
dialogues. We see that Joe believes he's the good guy, that he's doing whatever he can to protect or
support the women he loves. In Joe's search for love, he dangerously projects his desire to feel
understood onto others. While married to Love, he became fixated with his neighbor Natalie and
his boss Marienne, believing that everything that happened so far in his life has brought
him to these women - who are his true loves. That being said, Joe doesn't seem to know what love
really is since it was never modeled to him as a child. As we learn his history with abuse,
abandonment, and past trauma. His experiences contribute to his complex psychology which may
underlie antisocial personality disorder as opposed to being a psychopath. Due to the
nature of his relationship with his parents, the abandonment from his mother, the abuse
he endured from his father and Mr. Mooney may explain an underlying insecure attachment style.
Thus, motivating him to seek control over others under the guise of protection or love.
"Everything I have done, I have done for you."
Additionally, his mother, "You are protecting me.
It had to be done. You're a good boy, Joey" and Mr. Mooney plays a pivotal role in contributing
to Joe's understanding around justifying his acts of violence. "Some people deserve to die.
I'm sure you had your reasons."
What are your thoughts around season 3? Let me know in the comments below!
Across 3 seasons, the show reveals the neglect and abuse in Joe's past. Insecure
attachment with caregivers can lead to seeking out romantic partners that model the same attachment
style. Joe's antisocial or sociopathic behaviors don't represent an average insecure
attachment style, but they could partly stem from it. His mom's inconsistent parenting and inability
to take care of Joe's needs as a child and the abuse he endured from his father can contribute
to his attachment injuries. As a young boy, Joe killed his abusive dad. In order to justify his
killing, his mom tells joe that he did it out of protection; thus, establishing a very unhealthy
understanding of love and protection. His mom puts the men she sees before her son. Often leaving him
alone for long periods of time. Eventually, she abandoned him. Sending Joe into the foster care
system. We learned in season 3 that he was bullied and picked on by other boys because he's in denial
about his mom coming back to get him. Joe later tracks down his mom only to find that she's moved
on with her life and is taking care of another boy. This can further strengthen his insecure
attachment style as he blames himself for his mom abandoning him.
"How did you find...
Do you hate me?"
When Joe was in the foster system, Fiona the nurse was kind and almost maternal to Joe. He soon
finds out that she was also being abused by her boyfriend and he had an opportunity to stop him,
but he didn't. What resulted was the nurse presumably getting killed and Joe suspects
that it was her abusive boyfriend leaving him feeling guilty for not stopping her boyfriend in
the first place. This situation further feeds into his outlook on life and his role as a protector.
If he doesn't protect the people he cares about something horrible will happen to them. We see
this outlook play out throughout the 3 seasons as Joe continues to take matters into his own hands,
such as when he kills Ron to protect Paco and his mom and when he kills Henderson to protect
Ellie. This protective instinct may be stemming from his own toxic childhood experiences.
The predatory and abusive patterns of his victims are parallel to the trauma he endured from his
abusers and he convinces himself that what he's doing is noble. Past trauma may contribute to
aspects of his complex personality especially in terms of his antisocial or sociopathic behavior.
Joe's quest to feel cared for demonstrates his manipulation skills to get what
and whom he wants. Joe has learned that killing is acceptable as long as he had his reasons and if he
was protecting the people he loved. We see this when Joe kills Benji and Peach to protect Beck
and when he kills Ryan to protect Marienne. He has also learned to kill the woman he loves if they
try to leave or end their relationship with him. He often gets triggered when they tell Joe that
they don't love him back. "I don't love you! I never have. You're broken. I could never love you"
"What did you do?! What did you do?!" reminding him of his mother's abandonment and reacting
in a violent manner. "If someone sees the real me, they'll go away.
For good."
According to the Crime Classification Manual,
Joe would be considered an organized killer. Organized killers are very difficult to apprehend
because they go to inordinate lengths to cover their tracks and are often forensically savvy.
So far in the first 3 seasons, Joe has gotten away with his murders and staged his own death
in order to start a new life which involves finding his current obsession, Marienne.
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Next week, I'm going to be analyzing Joe's relationships with his girlfriends from
the entire series of YOU so make sure you don't miss it! Until then, be kind and love yourself.