• From not knowing how to cook grilled cheese to cooking ramen with soda, the Planet Dolan
crew re-enact some of the best true stories from our subreddit about hilarious cooking
fails.
I’m [Hellbent - or – Nixxiom] and today I’ll be your narrator.
Number 10 was submitted by Jason-OCE 4 – Danger Dolan
Danger Dolan made a rather embarrassing mistake with “Easy Mac”.
The word “easy” is literally in the name, but he still found a way to screw it up.
The recipe says to put pasta and water in the bowl, cook, and stir in cheese mix.
Now, from these, what step do you think Dolan skipped?
Turns out he forgot to add water.
Dolan placed dry pasta in the microwave and pressed “cook”.
After a minute, Dolan and his brother noticed there was smoke up to the ceiling, but thought
it was his brother's cooking as they were sharing the kitchen.
After another minute, the smoke was so thick that they could barely breathe and, just then,
finally realized what had happened.
They unplugged the microwave because the pasta inside was smoking and maybe on fire.
The microwave was permanently damaged, and Dolan had to replace it.
The saddest part was that Dolan never got his 4 pm snack.
Number 9 was submitted by Narek989 - Melissa So Melissa and her friend were going to bake
a cake.
The thing about this was that they had a lot of different chocolate mixes and marshmallows.
They tried to create a layer cake by putting the marshmallows at the very bottom and started
putting the different mixes – including browning mix – above the othes.
This was for a friend of theirs, who was a choco-holic.
They baked it, then took it out.
Though the cake felt a little heavy, they thought it was fine and let it cool.
Melissa and her friend went to their friend's house with the cake.
It felt like it weighed a good 20+ pounds!
Melissa’s friend put it on the birthday person's counter, but it fell and made a loud
thud.
The fun part for them was turning it upside down and getting the thing out.
It took a few tries until it came out.
What ended up happening is that the marshmallows had caramelized on the very bottom, making
it hard as hell.
But it only got worse.
Now it was time to cut it.
They got a good, sturdy, heavy cutting knife and began to try cutting it.
After a few attempts, and breaking the knife from the handle, they got a serrated knife
and began sawing it.
Almost nobody could finish one piece of it, as the sugar content and chocolate taste of
it would easily put any diabetic into a coma.
The only reason Melissa finished one piece was because she was determined to NOT let
a piece of food go to waste.
They called it "Death By Chocolate With The Density Of Plutonium".
Number 8 was submitted by Lissybee24 – Ladybot Ladybot was working at a low rent gas station
as a short order cook and had to train a new employee.
The new employee, Doopie, came in, boasting about how she had owned and operated two restaurants
and managed two others.
She proceeded to tell Ladybot that she didn't need her to help at all because she knew how
to cook.
The start of the morning shift was awful.
Doopie didn't know anything, not even the difference between a scrambled egg and an
egg over easy.
It was a nightmare, and the more Ladybot tried to help, the more resentful she became.
An early lunch order came in and it was a simple order that Ladybot assumed that Doopie
would be able to handle without a problem.
Boy was she wrong.
The order was for a grilled cheese sandwich and fries extra crispy.
Ladybot asked her before she started the order if she knew how to make a grilled cheese sandwich
and her answer was "yes, I'm not stupid".
So, Ladybot watched the stupidest thing she’s ever seen.
Doopie walked over to the grill, grabbed the bread and put it in the toaster, then proceeded
to place 3 different types of cheese on the grill, burning the cheese badly.
She put that mess together on the toast, which smelled bad, then put the fries down to cook.
All in that order.
Of course, Ladybot had to intervene and fix the order but it was truly magical to watch.
So by the time Ladybot remade the sandwich, the customer’s fries were cooked to perfection
and all was good.
Doopie complained to the owner that Ladybot was a bad teacher and didn't explain anything.
She went on to explain that Ladybot was pushing her around.
But it was all on camera to prove that Doopie was a straight up idiot.
Number 7 was submitted by Hairynutz - Robo Robo was housesitting for her grandparents
with a mate when they were 13.
They attempted to cook a roast chicken in the oven.
After a few tries to get the oven to start, they found the "start” button.
Robo’s mate hit the button and BOOM!
The door smashed open and broke the glass.
It also ruined the hinge.
They cleaned it up and proceeded to cook the raw chicken in the microwave, which gave them
food poisoning as a result.
Robo never asked to house sit again.
Number 6 was submitted by EMdom - Gooby Gooby was hungry one morning and felt lazy.
She wanted hard boiled eggs but didn't feel like boiling water, so she put a whole bunch
of eggs in the microwave.
Gooby put the 5 raw eggs in for 6 minutes.
She left, but then started hearing pops.
Gooby came back to check on the eggs, and found that eggy slimy stuff was all over the
fucking microwave.
Gooby learned a lesson – microwaves don't like eggs.
Number 5 was submitted by IAmToShun - Pringle One night Pringle was trying to cook some
spaghetti and meatballs for himself when he realized his stove was broken.
Being extremely drunk, he decided to use his father’s grill to do it.
Pringle heated up the grill as he put down the meatballs and noodles.
He left it running for twenty minutes as he played a game.
When Pringle headed back with a spatula, well, he ended up scraping off the remains of the
coal-black food and just stared at it.
Pringle threw it away and ate some tacos with pepperoni, sausage, and gummy worms in them.
Number 4 was submitted by CitySparrow - Emojie When they were younger, Emojie and his cousins
were fans of manga.
They once found a recipe for banana bread in the back of one book and decided to make
it during a vacation.
The ingredients weren't balanced, as it required more salt than necessary, and the recommended
baking time was too short.
When they took the bread out of the oven it looked like an undercooked brown, mushy alien
that appeared to be breathing.
Emojie tried it to see if it was salvageable, and it was the saltiest thing he ever tasted.
They never tried the recipe again.
A few years later, Emojie found a different banana bread recipe in a cookbook that he
spruced up with chocolate chips and vanilla... which was delicious!
Number 3 was submitted by Golinator18 - Honeybits So Honeybits was never taught to never put
out an oil fire in water, and one day as a school assignment she had to make a Japanese
dish and give a report on it.
Honeybits chose to do korokke, which is ground beef and other stuff rolled into a ball and
fried.
Honeybits decided it would be a good idea to play a game while letting it cook.
Just as one would expect, it caught fire, and she panicked, throwing it into the sink.
When she turned on the faucet, the fire expanded into a huge flame that was touching the ceiling
and burned everything around it.
Honeybits thought she must've had twenty angels around her or something, because she was lucky
enough not to get a single scratch on her.
The house didn't burn down, and the only thing that happened was a couple of bottles of soap
around the fire had melted.
Some of the smog stains in the ceiling can still be seen.
Her sister was the only one home and was crying constantly, asking what happened.
Honeybits lied and told her that she left to use the bathroom for like a minute.
Honeybits’ sister didn't even trust her to use a lighter, and Honeybits still hears
jokes about it today.
Number 2 was submitted by OrbitalKing - GhostToast After just getting out of the hospital and
being tired, GhostToast put a bowl of ramen in the microwave… but didn’t include water
and burnt the shit out of it.
After it was done, he looked at the charred black brick of noodle and realized he forgot
the water.
So, GhostToast proceeded to pour Mountain Dew into the bowl!
After putting it back in the microwave for 3 minutes, straining it, and putting the chicken
flavor packet in, GhostToast almost ate it until his uncle stopped him.
Apparently, Mountain Dew and chicken-flavored charred noodles wouldn't have been the best
thing for him to eat.
Number 1 – What
is
the most hilarious cooking fail I ever made?
Huge thanks for the folks over on our Planet Dolan subreddit for submitting their stories.
We have another question for you: “What is the most disgusting meal you’ve ever
had?”
Let us know in the reddit page linked below and you might be featured
in a future countdown.