Welcome back to my Dark Corner of this Sick World.
‘Sorry we keep meeting under these circumstances’
In the 1970s low budget filmmakers found the Phillipines an ideal place to make cheap movie look more expensive than they were.
‘That’s bullshit’
and Kung Fu Cannibals, also known as Raw Force, is a prime example of this exploitation bonanza.
There is blood by the buttock full. –
Sorry - bucket full, I don’t know where my mind was.
The film opens with some girls being sold to a bunch of monks living on Warrior island.
But the monks don’t want the girls for sex.
‘Then why are they buying them?’
‘For food’
To summarise a complex situation; this island is where disgraced martial artists go to die
and the monks raise the dead as zombies.
‘Raise the dead’
‘That’s what it says’
What it doesn’t say in the brochure is that this requires cannibalism.
'You serious?'
‘They claim that female flesh gives them the power to raise the dead’
Seamlessly setting up a reason to have naked Fillipino girls popping out at every turn.
‘Take off their clothes’
And if you’re looking for more justification than that, you are watching the wrong film.
‘How can the monks have the power to raise the dead?'
;I imagine it’s a closely guarded secret’
Let’s meet some heroes
‘Are you the guys from the Burbank karate club?’
‘In the flesh’
Subtle foreshadowing.
‘Go ahead Cookie, he doesn’t have to know you’re on the LAPD SWAT team.’
This cruise heads for Warrior Island, and frankly these guys deserve to wind up in a place for disgraced martial artists.
They take in the sights as they go.
‘I just can’t see you in a whorehouse in the afternoon’
With you it’s always been evening or nothing.
‘No question man’
They cross paths with bad guy Speer.
A man who looked at Adolf Hitler and thought ‘I can pull that off’
‘That’s pure bullshit mein friend’
and on the way, pick a fight with a moving van.
How to bifurcate your crotch.
‘Hey, you alright?’
I didn’t think this through.
‘I guarantee that ship will never reach warriors’ island’
The film’s centrepiece is a 20 minute boat party .
‘Ever see so many weirdos?’
There’s suddenly a lot more people onboard who I haven’t seen before
'Coming right up.'
and would remember seeing.
‘Could you use a couple more girls’
'Sure, come on in.'
We’ve airlifted these people into the middle of south china seas just to sex up the mid-section.
‘You may not believe this, but I’ve never done anything like this before’
As the evening wears on the sleazy party inevitably degenerates into…
A cruise for active seniors, who have nothing in common with the sex mad passengers who were here a moment ago...
‘My ex-boyfriend couldn’t make love to me until I did a striptease first’
except for the fact that we’ve never seen them before...
'Holy smokes, who the heck is he?'
and never will again.
‘My God! We're under attack.'
Frankly it’s a relief when the bad guys attack.
‘Go hide under the stairs’
'Arrrrrrghhhhhh!'
Screaming really negates the hiding.
'Just when I find the gun, they set fire to the ship.'
Speer’s men set fire to the ship because the best way to avoid attention being drawn to Warrior Island is blow up a liner.
‘This is ridiculous’
With the boat in badly superimposed flames.
our heroes make their escape.
‘Where’s what’s her name?’
By ‘what’s her name’ I assume you mean everyone else who was on the ship a minute ago.
‘Are you joking?’
The heroes wash up on Warrior island.
‘This is the place in the brochure’
I wonder if they have a gift shop.
But the bad guys have the drop on them.
Well that’s a terrible shot.
Is he aiming for trees?
‘We were not convinced by what we saw in the cemetery’
You neither huh?
Finally the guys clash with the monks, who raise the dead to protect their cannibal paradise.
To be honest, the dead just look fed up.
This film is about 2 things.
and the fight scenes,
but they’ve not had enough rehearsal to fight fast.
and are working on the principal of, we’ve got like 3 people who can actually do this…
everyone else jump around…
Wave your arms…
and try not to bend the swords.
Then we’ll blow up some dummies…
and call it a win.
Thanks for watching. There’s so much more to say about this sleazy excuse for a film so join us on Patreon if you’d like to hear more.
I know that seems like bribery.
What are your favourite Philippine-sploitation films and which should we review?
Let us know in the comments below.