OK.
I ask a question, you answer honestly.
And then you hit that for no apparent reason.
You famously wore Calvin Klein briefs.
What do you sleep in at night?
A pair of shorts.
Was I correct?
We're going to have to see proof.
Like workout shorts or something?
Workout shorts, yeah.
All right.
Unless something happens, and then--
And then you take them off?
I always keep my socks on.
OK.
Oh, that's--
Let's just put it that way.
That's for real.
That's for real?
You always keep your socks on?
Except for the shower.
Everywhere else, you got me with socks-- or the ocean.
You have a thing with your feet?
You don't like to see your feet?
No, I don't mind my feet.
But my feet are softer than my 10-year-old daughter's feet.
Like, super-soft baby feet.
Oh, you're protecting them?
Yeah.
I keep my-- soft feet.
So what can happen to them in bed?
Anything.
Who knows?
It's just a thing now.
What kind of sheets do you have that you're worried
about scratching up your feet?
You need to get some new sheets if you're getting--
I feel sexy when?
I have my socks on.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
Now, when you and your wife first got together
and the socks were on, did she--
I mean, she's gotten used to it now.
And she accepts you and loves you for who you are.
But in the beginning, did she think it was weird
that you left your socks on?
She thought it was ridiculous.
But now, you know what?
Now, everybody's figured out what to get me.
I just get socks.
All the time.
Wow.
You must have a lot of socks.
I do.
All right.
Say something sexy but do it in a Boston accent.
Oh.
I was naked, with everything but my socks on in the car.
So everything but your socks?
Oh, everything-- yeah, I was naked--
See, now you're naked except for--
--nothing but my socks in the car.
My wife is better than me at?
Almost everything.
Good answer.
I wish my kids would learn how to?
Understand the word no.
Two letters, N-O.
You've done two movies with Will Ferrell.
Name one thing that you don't like about Will Ferrell.
We've done three movies together.
And the only thing I don't like about Will Ferrell is that--
oh, his hair smells so damn good.
It really does.
And I found myself going--
they put this, like, Moroccanoil in his hair.
And I was riding on a motorcycle--
I was strapped to him on the back of the motorcycle
in "Daddy's Home."
And I was, like--
and then all of a sudden, I started laying on his head.
And they were, like-- uh, Mark?
You're supposed to be the cool tough dad, who
doesn't like this guy.
And I'm, like, but his hair smells so good.
You can put that in your hair too.
It's good for your hair.
I don't have the curls.
You don't need the curls.
You can put Moroccanoil on any hair.
I'll try it.
You put it on your feet and then put the socks on.
But then it feels all gooey.
But then it'll absorb.
All right.
I'll try that.
Give it a try.
Besides your face, what body part
do you look at the most in the mirror?
Not my feet.
I don't know.
Yes you do.
My hands.
That's a lie.
It is a lie.
Who was your first kiss with?
Mom.
Gross.
I didn't say open-mouth--
I know.
--like, full-on tongue.
I would imagine she kissed me when I came out.
Maybe she slapped me, I don't know.
What are three words that best describe you?
Hard working man.
[APPLAUSE]
Hard could just be on its own.
Ooh, hey.
What's your best beauty tip?
Keep your socks on if you want soft feet.
I'm dying to see your feet now.
I mean, I really want to touch them.
Oh, we're out of time.
Did I win?
Yes, you won!
Spenser Confidential is on Netflix March 6th.
We'll be back.