WINFREY: Today, we're talking with people who have come out of comas
or coma-like states; some after years. And we're trying to
understand this unknown world and its bizarre aftermath.
Some seem to survive it amazingly well.
But my next guest's recovery has been a very painful road,
as you will see. Jerry and his wife, Pamela, once had the
picture-perfect family. Seventeen years of happy marriage
and four wonderful children. Like many families,
they traveled everywhere together. But in April of 1994,
the day after her mother's funeral, 38-year-old Pam just
collapsed on the floor and suddenly went into cardiac arrest.
Shortly afterwards, she slipped into a coma and for several
weeks she was there. It is obvious that Pam survived,
but as you can see, here today, the aftermath of the strange
sleep and the damage to her brain left her
a completely different person. She doesn't remember her husband.
She doesn't remember getting married.
She doesn't remember her four children.
And worse yet, she can't remember anything longer than a few seconds.
Thankfully, the family is so thankful that she is alive.
But she now lives in a world unto herself, a world that her
family is desperately trying to understand. Take a look.
MUSIC
Mr. FOSTER: April of '94, I was called at work.
I didn't realize that--that it was a call that would have
chang--change my life forever and the lives of my--my children.
FOSTER: The day after we buried my grandmother,
my mom's potassium level dropped and she went into cardiac arrest.
Mr. FOSTER: She was rushed to the hospital. She was in a coma.
She was--her eyes were closed. There was no communication whatsoever.
FOSTER: It really didn't dawn on us what happened until we
actually went and visited her at the Cleveland Clinic
and saw her, how she was.
Mr. FOSTER: Here's a loved one that you have the decision
to make whether or not she lives or dies.
Mrs. FOSTER: Gosh, they're red pants.
How did you find red pants when I looked everywhere for...
Mr. FOSTER: Pam was the center of our--our world.
She was everything to all of us. She did it all.
Do you remember how many children we have?
Mrs. FOSTER: We have four children. OK.
Mr. FOSTER: Do you know--what were their names?
Mrs. FOSTER: Lisa and Bryan and Amy and Kevin.
Mr. FOSTER: Do you remember how old they are?
Mrs. FOSTER: Oh, I guess Lisa's 16 and Brian's 14 and
Amy's 12 and Kevin is 10.
Mr. FOSTER: Hmm. And do you know what year it is?
Mrs. FOSTER: No.
Mr. FOSTER: No? She doesn't remember anything
for any length of time. Did you know that your mom passed away?
Mrs. FOSTER: No.
Mr. FOSTER: No?
Mrs. FOSTER: She did? Oh...
Mr. FOSTER: You didn't know that? OK. It's all right, sweetheart.
Just take a deep breath. There. Is that better?
Mrs. FOSTER: Oh.
Mr. FOSTER: Hmm?
Mrs. FOSTER: I guess so.
Mr. FOSTER: My oldest daughter, I think it--it really
affected her more than I knew it did.
FOSTER: I try to tell myself that somewhere deep down
inside she does know who I am, but she just doesn't have
the capability to tell me, and she doesn't have the capability
to say to me, `I know who you are and I don't want to be like this.'
But it's still hard for me what she can't say that.
But I have to tell myself every day that somewhere
in that person is my real mother.
Mr. FOSTER: Brian, my 15-year-old son, I think,
has weathered it pretty well. We don't really discuss it very much.
I asked him the other day about the way she was.
And--and he just responded,
`I really don't remember the way she was.'
There was a point in time where I could have allowed her to pass away.
And it is--it would have been solely because we knew that she
had had sign--would have significant deficits.
And again, would she want that burden on her family?
I guess I didn't answer for her, I answered for me.
And I look back on it and I--I feel that what happened was
I--I lost her in April of '94, because the--you know,
the person that I'm--I'm with now is not the person
that I fell in love with and married.
WINFREY: And they are a testament--what real marriage
is when you say for better or for worse.
Joining us now are Pam and Jerry and their 17-year-old daughter Lisa.
Mrs. FOSTER: Yes. Oh, yes.
WINFREY: Are you OK, Pam?
Mrs. FOSTER: Yeah.
WINFREY: You want to--you want to be here? Do you want to stay here?
Mrs. FOSTER: Yeah.
WINFREY: Is that OK?
Mrs. FOSTER: Yeah.
WINFREY: Because you don't have to stay here if you don't want to.
Mrs. FOSTER: Yeah. I want to stay here.
WINFREY: OK.
Mrs. FOSTER: OK?
WINFREY: OK.
Mrs. FOSTER: OK.
WINFREY: That's fine.
Mr. FOSTER: Take a deep breath.
Mrs. FOSTER: OK.
WINFREY: Jerry, what's it like for you?
Mrs. FOSTER: Oh.
Mr. FOSTER: At times like this it's very difficult.
Mrs. FOSTER: Oh.
Mr. FOSTER: Seeing some of the old videotapes of the past is...
WINFREY: Mm-hmm.
Mr. FOSTER: I haven't looked at them because it's too painful.
WINFREY: Mm-hmm.
Mr. FOSTER: On a day to day basis it's--some days are--are easier
to take than others.
There's always work that we have to do with her
and--and care that she needs.
WINFREY: Why did you want to be here? Why are you doing this?
Mr. FOSTER: Well, I guess if--if I can explain that the euphoria
of coming out of a coma must be a bit tempered with the
realization that long-term, there could be deficits like she has...
WINFREY: Mm-hmm.
Mr. FOSTER: ...and even more significant.
WINFREY: Mm-hmm.
Mr. FOSTER: It's--it's a full-time job to take care of her.
WINFREY: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Mr. FOSTER: And, again, we went through the euphoria,
like a lot of people do when their loved one wakes up.
WINFREY: Mm-hmm.
Mr. FOSTER: And after that wears off, there could be
a--significant pain and suffering.
WINFREY: Because for--What?--for three weeks she didn't speak or...
Mr. FOSTER: Right.
WINFREY: Not a word.
Mr. FOSTER: Right.
WINFREY: And then--who did she speak to first?
Mr. FOSTER: She really didn't speak when she came
out of it because she had had a trach tube in.
WINFREY: Mm-hmm.
Mr. FOSTER: And once she was released from the
--the hospital we had her transported to a...
Mrs. FOSTER: Who did I speak to first?
Mr. FOSTER: ...to a physical therapy...
WINFREY: Mm-hmm.
Mr. FOSTER: ...where then she had the trach
tube removed and slowly started to speak.
WINFREY: This isn't the mom you remember.
FOSTER: No.
WINFREY: No.
FOSTER: Not at all.
Mrs. FOSTER: Yeah.
WINFREY: Yeah.
Mrs. FOSTER: OK.
FOSTER: That's not her fault.
WINFREY: Mm-hmm.
Mrs. FOSTER: OK.
FOSTER: I guess I--I kind of separate my life as to before
the accident and after the accident.
WINFREY: Ninety-four?
FOSTER: Mm-hmm. In April of '94.
WINFREY: Mm-hmm.
FOSTER: And what I see now is--is not the same.
And I--she doesn't have this--I mean, sometimes her
personality comes out, her sarcasm and stuff.
WINFREY: Mm-hmm.
FOSTER: But a lot of the time it's just a lot of confusion.
And it's hard...
WINFREY: It's hard?
FOSTER: ...to look at her like this.
WINFREY: Mm-hmm.
FOSTER: And know that she wouldn't want to be like this.
WINFREY: Mm-hmm. Are you glad to have her back speaking?
FOSTER: Mm-hmm.
Mrs. FOSTER: Mm-hmm.
FOSTER: It's a relief that she's here with us, but it's also
--I kind of wonder if it's--if she wants to be like this and if she
--if she's better off being here and like this or not, sometimes.
WINFREY: Mm-hmm. Do you remember where you are?
Mrs. FOSTER: Well, I guess I'm in Chicago.
WINFREY: You're in Chicago, yeah.
Mrs. FOSTER: Oh.
WINFREY: Yeah, you are in Chicago.
Mrs. FOSTER: Yeah.
WINFREY: Yeah.
Mrs. FOSTER: Oh. OK.
WINFREY: So, Jerry, she remembers things within--What?--like,
two minutes? She forge--you have to keep reminding her?
Mr. FOSTER: Yeah. We--and that's why--some of the videotapes
showed that we had--at one time we had a lot signs to remind her
of the things that she would ask about over and over and over.
WINFREY: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Mr. FOSTER: And, I mean, in the course of about one minute she
would not remember. And so we would post these signs that would
remind her of the two--the two children, or the four children.
Two of which, when she first, initially, had the injury,
went to live with my sister-in-law.
And she--they were gone for two years.
WINFREY: Lisa, does she remember you or do you have to keep
reminding her of who you are?
FOSTER: She does know who I am.
WINFREY: Mm-hmm.
Mrs. FOSTER: Oh.
FOSTER: She does know who I am. She knows...
Mrs. FOSTER: I know you're Lisa.
FOSTER: Yes, she knows that I'm Lisa.
She knows--she knows all the kids and their names
and things like that.
WINFREY: Mm-hmm.
FOSTER: But it's things within the past couple of years
or so that she doesn't remember at all.
WINFREY: Does she have any--do you--do you--do you,
Pam, have any memory of growing up with the kids?
Because I used to hear--I heard you were supermom.
Mrs. FOSTER: Oh, was I?
WINFREY: Yeah.
Mrs. FOSTER: Oh.
Mr. FOSTER: You were.
WINFREY: Yeah. You were supermom.
Mrs. FOSTER: Oh.
Mr. FOSTER: She's lost almost nine years because occasionally
she doesn't remember our nine-year-old son.
WINFREY: Mm-hmm.
Mr. FOSTER: She sometimes mentions him and sometimes doesn't
mention him. So I believe that she's lost a lot of--of
the previous nine years.
There are some things that she does remember.
WINFREY: Mm-hmm.
Mr. FOSTER: And some of the things that she can do are in her past.
For example, she knows that the numbers and the
letters of the alphabet.
For example, what's the 17th letter of the alphabet?
Mrs. FOSTER: It's `Q.'
Mr. FOSTER: All right. Coun--count it.
Mrs. FOSTER: A, B, C, D, E, F, G...
Mr. FOSTER: Count it.
WINFREY: OK. It's Q. I'm taking your word for it.
Mr. FOSTER: Yeah. Yeah.
Mrs. FOSTER: You better.