YOU'RE IN FOR SUCH A TREAT, FOLKS, BECAUSE, TONIGHT, YOU
KNOW MY FIRST GUEST FROM "THE DAILY SHOW" AND
"FULL FRONTAL WITH SAMANTHA BEE."
PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO THE "LATE SHOW," SAMANTHA BEE!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( BAND PLAYING )
>> Stephen: SO GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN!
>> SO LOVELY TO SEE YOU.
I WAS JUST -- >> Stephen: YEAH?
I JUST LEARNED THIS IS, LIKE, THE SEVENTH TIME I HAVE BEEN ON
YOUR SHOW.
>> Stephen: YES!
I'M JUST LIKE BERNIE SANDERS.
>> Stephen: YEAH, THOSE ARE BERNIE NUMBERS.
I'M FEELING THE B!
>> THANK YOU!
>> Stephen: THIS IS YOUR SEVENTH TIME HERE, AND NOT ONLY
HAVE YOU BEEN HERE A BUNCH, YOU TEND TO COME HERE WHEN IMPORTANT
THINGS HAVE JUST HAPPENED.
THE LAST TIME YOU WERE HERE, IT WAS THE DAY THE DAMN MUELLER
REPORT HAD BEEN RELEASED.
>> I KNOW, AND THE TIME BEFORE THAT, IT WAS COMEY BEING FIRED.
>> Stephen: OH, MY GOD!
AND NOW IT'S THE EVE OF THE --
>> Stephen: WHO KNOWS.
-- WHATEVER THE HELL.
>> Stephen: DON'T BORROW TROUBLE.
SUFFICIENT TO THE DAY IS THE EVIL THEREOF.
HOW ARE YOU VIEWING IMPEACHMENT?
HOW IS YOUR FEELING ABOUT IT?
>> I'M MELLOW ABOUT IT.
I'M GLAD IT'S HAPPENING.
>> Stephen: I KNOW THE LAST TIME YOU WERE HERE, YOU SAID
THAT LOOKING FOR THE MUELLER REPORT TO FIX WHAT WAS WRONG
WITH AMERICA IS LIKE LOOKING FOR BANGS.
>> TO FIX YOUR PERSONALITY, AND YOUR LIFE.
AND THEY WILL NEVER DO WHAT YOU WANT THEM TO.
>> Stephen: I HAVEN'T HAD BANGS SINCE I WAS ABOUT EIGHT.
HAVE YOU HAD BANGS AS YOU WERE AN ADULT?
>> I'VE HAD BANGS.
MY HUSBAND STILL LOVES ME, AND THAT'S A MIRACLE.
IF YOU EVER SEE ME WITH BANGS AGAIN, YOU KNOW THAT SOMETHING
HAS GONE TERRIBLY WRONG.
>> Stephen: SOMETHING HAS GONE WRONG WITH YOUR FOREHEAD.
>> IN EVERY WHICH WAY.
PLEASE TAKE ME ASIDE AND PUT ME AWAY FOR A COUPLE OF YEARS TILL
THEY GROW BACK.
>> Stephen: I KNOW YOU'RE AN AMERICAN CITIZEN.
>> I AM.
>> Stephen: YOU VOTED FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 2016.
>> I DID.
I WRECKED EVERYTHING.
>> Stephen: SO SORRY ABOUT THAT.
ARE YOU A DUAL CITIZEN.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: THEN RIDDLE ME THIS.
>> I SHALL.
>> Stephen: IS THERE SOMETHING LIKE IMPEACHMENT IN CANADA?
LET'S IMAGINE IN A CRAZY WORLD IN WHICH WE NEVER DO ANYTHING
WRONG, WHAT'S THE RECOURSE UP THERE?
>> WELL, IT'S A PARLIAMENTARY SYSTEM, SO IT'S COMPLETELY
DIFFERENT.
>> Stephen: I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.
>> IT MEANS YOU CAN KIND OF GET PEOPLE OUT A LITTLE FASTER.
>> Stephen: HOW WOULD THEY DO IT?
AN INVESTIGATION?
>> WE HAVE A VOTE OF NON-COMPETENCE.
IT'S A VERY CIVILIZED PROCESS BY COMPARISON, I SAY.
>> Stephen: JUST A VOTE OF NONCONFIDENCE?
>> YEAH, WE'RE, LIKE, WE DON'T BELIEVE YOU CAN DO THIS ANYMORE.
WE'RE NOT SURE ABOUT YOU, SIR, YOU GET ON OUT OF HERE.
>> Stephen: TRUMP WOULD HAVE BEEN GONE THREE YEARS AGO
BECAUSE EVEN THE PEOPLE WHO SUPPORT HIM DON'T THINK HE CAN
DO IT.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> BUT ACTUALLY, I THINK THE
BEST CONTRAST IS THE LENGTH OF TIME THAT THE ELECTION -- THE
ELECTIONS ARE VERY TRUNCATED THERE, SO YOU REALLY ONLY CAN
RUN FOR OFFICE FOR A FINITE PERIOD, I THINK IT'S TWO OR
THREE MONTHS, WHEREAS I FEEL LIKE WE HAVE BEEN IN ELECTION
SEASON FOR SOMEWHERE AROUND FIVE YEARS.
>> Stephen: IT'S NEVER NOT.
IT'S NEVER NOT.
>> Stephen: DONALD TRUMP FILED FOR HIS REELECTION CANDIDACY,
HIS CAMPAIGN PAPERS THE DAY HE WAS INAUGURATED.
>> EARLY 2017, I TALKED TO ELIZABETH WARREN AND I SAID, ARE
YOU RUNNING?
>> Stephen: YOU'RE PART OF THE PROBLEM, YOU'RE SAYING.
>> I SAID, CAN'T YOU DO SOMETHING?
SHE SAID, I DON'T WANT TO.
THEN SHE DID.
>> Stephen: SEASON FIVE OF "FULL FRONTAL WITH SAMANTHA BEE"
STARTS MONDAY.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: CONGRATULATIONS.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) WHAT CAN WE EXPECT?
CAN YOU GIVE US A TEASER OF ANYTHING COMING UP?
>> WE'RE GOING TO DO CONVENTION STUFF.
>> Stephen: I'LL SEE YOU THERE.
>> WE'LL SEE YOU THERE.
OH, MY GOD THERE'S SO MUCH TO DO.
SO MUCH ELECTION-RELATED STUFF.
WE'RE GOING TO TRY TO HAVE A LOT OF FUN.
SEEMS TO ME 2016, THE COMEDY REALLY PRESENTED ITSELF TO US,
AND PERHAPS NOW WE ARE EACH INDIVIDUALLY PUTTING LIPSTICK ON
THIS PIG.
SO THAT'S WHAT WE'LL WITH PRACTICING, FILLING OUR OWN JOY
BUCKETS THIS YEAR, HAVING FUN.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: THAT'S EXACTLY
RIGHT.
UM, THE THING THAT I FIND PLEASURABLE ABOUT HAVING A TALK
SHOW IS BEING ABLE TO MEET PEOPLE THAT YOU ADMIRE.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: PRESENT COMPANY BEING ONE OF THEM, BUT, OF
COURSE, I ALREADY KNEW YOU.
BUT DO YOU STILL EVER GET STAR STRUCK WHEN YOU HAVE AN
OPPORTUNITY TO MEET THEM, BECAUSE IT'S FEW AND FAR BETWEEN
AT THIS POINT, BUT WHEN IT DOES, IT'S QUITE WONDERFUL.
>> QUITE A MAGICAL MOMENT WHEN YOU MEET SOMEONE WHO IS YOUR
HERE O. WHEN WE DID OUR LAST -- NOT THE WHITE HOUSE
CORRESPONDENCE DINNER, I DID SOMETHING WITH SIGOURNEY WEAVER
AND I SAID WOULD YOU DO AN ALIEN'S PARODY WITH ME?
TO MY SUR SURPRISE AND DELIGHT SHE SAID YES.
I NAMED MY CHILD AFTER HER IN THE ALIEN'S FRANCHISE.
>> Stephen: YOU NAMED YOUR DAUGHTER RIPLEY?
>> YES, AFTER LIEUTENANT ELLEN RIPLEY FROM THE ALIEN MOVIES.
>> Stephen: I'M FAMILIAR WITH HER WORK.
>> OF COURSE.
>> Stephen: IS THAT WHAT THIS IS BECAUSE I HAVE A PRINTOUT
DOWN HERE.
WHAT IS THIS FROM?
>> OH, MY GOD!
THAT'S THE THING WE DID TOGETHER, YES!
OH, SHE'S THE BEST!
>> Stephen: ARE YOU THE LITTLE GIRL?
>> SHE'S THE LITTLE GIRL, YES.
I'M, LIKE, A 50-YEAR-OLD NEWT IN THAT.
IT'S GREAT.
>> Stephen: HOW DOES YOUR DAUGHTER RIPLEY FEEL ABOUT BEING
NAMED AFTER A MONSTER FIGHTING KICK-AS SPACE LADY?
>> SHE THINKS IT'S COOL.
SHE'S ONLY NINE YEARS OLD, SO SHE -- YOU KNOW, SHE HASN'T
QUITE ABSORBED THAT INFORMATION YET, BUT SIGOURNEY WAS SO NICE
AND SHE BROUGHT THIS HEAD SHOT TO THE SET THAT'S LIKE HER AND
THE ALIEN IS, YOU KNOW, ENCROACHING ON HER AND GETTING
READY TO BITE HER FACE OFF, AND IT'S A TERRIFYING PICTURE, AND
IT'S HORRIFYING, AND SHE SIGNED IT TO MY DAUGHTER.
SHE SAID FROM ONE RIPLEY TO ANOTHER, YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU
PUT YOUR MIND TO.
IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL.
I CRIED.
I GOT IT FRAMED.
I WAS, LIKE, RIPLEY'S GOING TO LOVE THIS SO MUCH.
I GOT IT FRAMED AND PRESENTED IT TO HER AND SHE SAID, OH, MY GOD!
IT'S A HORRIBLE PICTURE!
IT'S A NIGHTMARE.
SO I WAS, LIKE, MAYBE NOT IN YOUR ROOM WHEN YOU'RE NINE.
MAYBE I'LL PUT IT IN MY ROOM FOR A COUPLE OF YEARS, SO I DID.
>> Stephen: I'LL TAKE IT.
YEAH, IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
>> Stephen: I'M A FAN.
I LOVE IT SO MUCH.
>> Stephen: SAM, LOVELY TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
>> ALWAYS A PLEASURE.
>> Stephen: HAVE A GREAT SEASON.
I'LL SEE YOU AT THE CONVENTION AND ELSEWHERE.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) LET'S GET 'EM.
SEASON 5 OF "FULL FRONTAL WITH SAMANTHA BEE" STARTS WEDNESDAY
ON TBS!
THAT'S SAMANTHA BEE, EVERYBODY!
BACK WITH MICHAEL STIPE!