(phone dings)
(upbeat music)
- Hey everybody, a few weeks ago,
I did a video addressing the five types of dissociation
and how we can better deal with them.
Today I'm gonna teach you about the five most common forms
of dissociation and what we can do to prevent them
from continuing to happen.
You left common and asked questions,
and I am here to answer them.
I looked at the top recurring ones
and we'll be digging into the six questions or concerns
I saw most often.
So let's jump right in
and stay tuned to see if your question will be answered.
Now, the first theme I saw is that it's hard to stop,
especially when maybe we don't think it's that bad.
And the first comment reads:
I've been maladaptive daydreaming since I was a child.
Before, I thought it was just something that everybody does,
and I didn't think that it would be harmful,
but after all those years of daydreaming,
I created lots of stories.
Some I can still remember
and still continue to develop up to this day.
And I lived in my head every single day
that even though I know what I,
that doing grounding techniques are healthier
than constantly living in my fantasy world,
I can't seem to abandon these imaginary people,
imaginary versions of myself,
imaginary world I created.
Its effects aren't really that extreme in real life
because I can still function,
but still it does more bad because I often opt to daydream
than to do my academic tasks.
I just wish I could find it in myself
to stop this completely because I know that it's unrealistic
and I'm just hurting myself in the process
by setting my expectations too high.
I have quite self-centered stories,
and I know that people won't realistically hold me
in such high regard.
It's normal to get used to how we manage our life.
We are such adaptive creatures
that we can easily get into the rhythm of dissociating
when we're overwhelmed.
And since it does help us
not to have to deal with as much pain or upset,
we can enjoy it.
And we should be thankful for it
helping us get through those tough times.
However, when it starts getting in the way
of our ability to do our work,
go to school or participate in class
and maybe negatively affecting our relationships,
we will have to find healthier ways to cope.
The second trend I saw in the comments
are dissociation connection to trauma.
Many of them mentioned how it was part of their PTSD
and others sharing how they didn't think it was a trauma
because they didn't think they dissociated,
and they were shocked to find out that they did.
Now this second comment states: I've always told myself
that I couldn't have been traumatized
because I don't dissociate, but it never occurred to me
that there might be different types of dissociation.
Many people do struggle with dissociation
as a result of their trauma and PTSD.
Triggering sounds, smells or tastes can be so overwhelming
to our system that our brain pulls the ripcord on reality.
It can be an escape and a break from that feeling,
but not everyone who is traumatized
will develop symptoms of PTSD.
And not everyone with PTSD will have dissociation.
Everyone has different levels of resilience,
meaning our ability to mentally weather life storms,
and we will do our best to cope in various ways.
Some of my patients use food as a way to deal,
others, self-injury.
We could even turn to alcohol or drugs.
And some even struggle with shopping addiction.
There are many ways that we can try
and numb out from our trauma,
so don't think that you must dissociate
in order for your trauma to be real.
The third trend I saw is that we didn't know
it was dissociation, and a comment about that reads:
I'm so happy that I've learned
about maladaptive daydreaming because for a long time
I thought it was just something everyone did,
but now I know it's a coping mechanism
for my anxiety and depression.
I've now realized that I put myself into intricate stories
just to make my life seem interesting.
But the struggle I have is, I don't know how to fix it,
or if I can fix it.
Since it's not as well known,
I don't know if going to a therapist would help.
I also don't know if I'd like life
without my imaginary stories.
Any advice?
This is one of the most common types of comments I saw.
Many of you didn't know that what you were experiencing
was actually dissociation.
And that makes sense because if it's our way
of coping with things, possibly starting from a young age,
we may not know another way of living.
We could have been dissociating
off and on since we were a child.
And if it's just something that happens to us each day,
we can assume that everyone else is doing the same things,
or that our experience with the world
is similar to everyone else's 'cause why wouldn't it be?
But as for this specific question
about going to a therapist,
that can definitely help us process the trauma
we have experienced in our life
'cause it's not really about getting rid
of the dissociation as much as it is about processing
and moving through the trauma.
Then, the dissociation will go away on its own
because we won't need it anymore.
If we don't get so overwhelmed or triggered,
then it won't happen.
And it's normal to not know
if we can live without our daydreams
or other forms of dissociation
or any other coping skills, to be honest.
But we also don't know what it's like
to live without triggers and PTSD symptoms.
And since the two are inextricably linked,
you might be surprised what you find out.
The fourth trend I saw was about the frustration
with memory loss and how that plays into our invalidation
and minimization of past trauma.
One comment like this reads: because of dissociation,
I still can't remember what actually happened
during the time that it was traumatic.
My therapists have been telling me
that I should process this, but I'm scared.
I don't know if I even want to know what really happened
because I'm still living with the people
that caused me the trauma.
Dissociative amnesia can be difficult to deal with.
We can be frustrated and even invalidate our own experience
because we can't fully remember,
and we simultaneously don't wanna remember
because we're sure it's not good.
Know that dissociation is a coping skill
and a way of protecting us from trauma and overwhelm.
We don't have to remember everything
in order to start working through it.
And I also know that oftentimes
we don't even have full memory of the traumatic events
because the dissociation was so intense.
So we could be like searching for something
that's not there.
Be patient with yourself as you uncover
what's there and what's not.
And yes, it'll feel bad,
and a lot can come up during this process,
but also know that there are other treatment options
that don't involve us recalling every detail,
like EMDR or somatic experiencing, and many others.
So if it's just too much for you,
or if there are huge gaps in your memory
and you don't know if you can even recall anything,
know that that's okay, too, and you still can heal.
The fifth trend I saw is wondering the difference
between a form of dissociation
and other mental illnesses.
One comment like this reads:
Great video!
What's the relationship between maladaptive daydreaming
and psychosis slash delusions?
Great question.
Many comments asked how this was different from delusions,
flashbacks, panic attacks and many others.
So let's just go through them one by one.
Now delusions are firmly held false beliefs,
that no matter what someone says
or proves to you about that thing or that situation,
we're not gonna believe them.
And you wholeheartedly believe your delusion or delusions.
When it comes to maladaptive daydreaming,
we have some awareness that we're in it
and can be pulled out, and we're aware that it's happening,
even if we don't see any issue with it.
It's not an altered reality in the same way.
It's like we go in and out of dissociation to cope.
Whereas with psychosis, we can't get out,
except with medication and treatment.
And it's constant.
We constantly believe those things.
It's not just a way of coping, if that makes sense.
And dissociation is different from flashbacks
because we aren't recalling
a traumatizing experience when we dissociate.
We are instead pulling ourselves out of reality
to give our nervous system a break
from the feelings and body memories
and whatever comes up, right.
It's almost like flashbacks are the opposite,
or maybe even the cause, of dissociation,
and panic attacks are almost like the opposite
of dissociation as well because when we have a panic attack,
we are completely overwhelmed.
We can feel like we can't breathe.
Like, we're gonna faint or have a heart attack.
Dissociation can be caused by a panic attack
because they pull us outta that experience
and help calm our nervous system, right.
Remember, dissociation is a cop skill.
It's not the feeling of overwhelm.
It's almost a way to better deal with it.
And the sixth and final trend that I saw
in the comments is the shame or embarrassment
that can come along with dissociation.
And one comment like this reads:
The symptoms that bothered me the most
while being dissociated was the lack of control
over what I said.
I lost my filter.
Does anyone else relate?
Because we aren't fully present,
we can say and do things that can seem off to others.
Many of you talked about how you may made a face
or said something that didn't make sense in the moment
and people called you out on it,
or asked you about it later.
And I know this can be embarrassing,
but try to remember why this is happening
and offer yourself some compassion,
and know that we can manage this
and work to overcome the reason it's happening at all.
Please know that you are not alone,
nothing is wrong with you,
and the tips and tools I offered in my other video
called "5 common forms of dissociation,"
it can and will get better.
I hope you found this video helpful
and it reminded you that you're not alone
in dealing with this.
Thank you so much for watching,
and I will see you next time.
(phone dings)
(typing)