Whether you're in a business, in a relationship, or at work, or with a group
of friends you're going to need to know how to convince someone for their
approval. The obvious problem with that is they could say no. Here's a very
simple and very effective technique that I've learned from Dale Carnegie's book
called How to Win friends and influence people, in which he showed something
called the "yes yes" technique. Stay tuned!
First of all, when you're talking with people do not start by discussing on
things what you differ. Instead you should begin by emphasizing and keep on
emphasizing on things you both agree on and what you really want to focus is to
keep your opponent if possible from saying no. The reason for that is when a
person says no and really means it, he or she is greatly losing of moving forward
in a affirmative direction that greatly reduces your chance for that yes.
The entire body, glandular, nervous muscular, all gathers together in a
condition of rejection. If you pay attention, the person that says no can
display a physical readiness of withdrawal. When, to the contrary, a person
that says yes, none of the withdrawal is being displayed. The body is in a much
more forward motion in the conversation with an open attitude. It is much more in
your favor to have more 'yeses' because the more of it we get, the more
likely we're going to succeed in capturing the attention for our ultimate
proposal, and to do that let's take a look on how to use the "yes, yes" technique
This is a true secret of Socrates. He won an armful of yeses by asking his
opponents a handful of questions that they have to agree with. Here's an
example of how the "yes yes" technique works. At a bank in New York City there was a
man named James Eberson, who was working there as a bank teller. One day, a man
came in to open an account and Mr. Eberson gave him a form to fill out. The
problem was some of the necessary questions on the form that was required
to be written was flatly refused to be answered. Fortunately Mr. Eberson learned
the yes yes technique so he was determined to get this man to fill out
the form. Mr. Eberson showed that he agreed with the man and said that the info
he refused to answer wasn't absolutely necessary.
"However" he said to the man. "Suppose you have money in the bank at your death."
"Wouldn't you like to have the bank to transfer it to your next kin, who is
entitled to it according to the law?" He replied, "Yes, of course." Then he said "Don't
you think it would be a good idea to give the name of your next kin so that
in the event of your death we will carry out your wishes without error or
delay? He replied, "Yes" again and there it is the second yes which made your
opponent in a much more state of acceptance. Mr. Eberson initiated his
ultimate proposal and to Mr. Eberson surprise, he noticed how the man wasn't
in a physical state of withdrawal anymore from the conversation as you
would from saying no in the argument. The man's attitude softened and changed when
he realized that Eberson wasn't asking for this information for the bank's
sake, but for his sake. Even better, the man completed the entire form with
all the information that was required and went even further by opening a trust
account. Point being is this. This is a very simple technique that is often
neglected. Next time when you're tempted to tell someone he or she is wrong, ask
with gentle questions that you know that will get a "yes yes". There's a Chinese
proverb that says, "He who trends softly goes far." Thank you guys for watching!
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