-Here's what people are talking about.
Some big political news.
Today President Trump went on Twitter and announced
that he is banning transgender people
from serving in the military.
[ Audience boos ]
This guy.
Trump said he understands this is a very sensitive issue,
so he made sure to choose his emojis very carefully.
Uh...
[ Applause ]
Actually, Trump says that he's banning transgender people
from serving because of high medical costs.
If he cares so much about high medical costs,
maybe he should pass a health-care bill.
Come on. What is he...
If he cares so much --
My God.
And Trump was talking to reporters yesterday
after the big health-care vote, and people noticed
that he didn't seem to know how many senators there are.
When told it's two for each state, Trump said,
"I'm going to need another clue.
I -- 15?"
[ Cheers and applause ]
Of course, another big story is Trump's feud
with Attorney General Jeff Sessions.
And when he was asked what will happen to Sessions,
Trump said, "Time will tell."
When asked if he was just stealing lines
if his Magic 8-Ball, Trump said, "Ask again later."
No. Wait. This is all...
[ Applause ]
-Whoa.
-Meanwhile the State Department says
Secretary of State Rex Tillerson is
"taking a little time off."
Wow. Tillerson, Spicer, maybe Sessions.
You know things are bad when the White House
is losing more characters than "Game of Thrones."
You know, this is a lot of people.
[ Applause ]
And Trump held a big rally in Ohio last night.
And I saw that he rubbed Melania's back
while she was introducing him.
It was the first time someone has ever shivered
in 80-degree weather.
It is just -- It's kind of warm.
[ Laughter and applause ]
That's right. Trump gave a speech in Youngstown, Ohio.
And everyone is talking about
a pretty big comparison that he made.
Take a look at this.
With the exception
of the late, great Abraham Lincoln,
I can be more presidential
than any President that's ever held this office.
That I can tell you.
-[ Laughs ]
[ Audience boos ]
Then he said, "I won't be, but I can."
[ Laughter and applause ]
After watching Trump's speech, CNN's Ana Navarro made
a pretty interesting comparison of her own. Watch this.
Guys, I've never done hallucinogenic mushrooms,
but when I watch one of these Trump rally speeches,
I feel, "Okay, this is what it must be like
to be high on hallucinogenic mushrooms."
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Yeah.
When Wolf Blitzer heard that, he was like,
"Just tell me what you need and how much."
And you go, "Wait. Wait."
And Trump's new communications director, Anthony Scaramucci,
addressed all the leaks that have been coming out
and asked staffers, "You want to sell postcards to the tourists
or you want to work in the West Wing?"
And the staffers said,
"Wait. Is that postcard thing a real option or...?
I love postcards."
But as I mentioned earlier, Trump has decided to ban
transgender people from serving in the military.
It's very controversial, so here to address this issue
is "Tonight Show" correspondent Patti Harrison.
Patti, thank you for joining us.
-Thank you.
Thanks for having me.
Now, Jimmy, I'm a transgender woman.
And as a transperson,
it's hard to articulate exactly how I feel.
But I guess if I had to describe it, I'd say,
"Donald, you're so stupid.
You are so stupid.
You're lucky you're so hot."
-Wait a second.
[ Laughs ]
"Lucky you're so hot."
Patti, when did you first hear about Trump's decision?
-Well, when I saw the headline this morning,
at first, I just read,
"Donald Trump bans transgender people."
And I was like, "Yeah, that sounds like him."
But then I realized it was just in the military,
and I was shocked because I assumed he already did that.
[ Laughter ]
Now, I don't necessarily want to serve in the military,
but I want the right to serve.
You know, it's like I don't want to go to your baby shower,
but I want the invite.
[ Laughter ]
But, you know, I don't even think Trump knows
what transgender means.
He probably thinks transgender people
are those cars that turn into robots.
-Yeah. It might be -- It might be so.
Patti, before you go,
do you have any final thoughts about all of this?
-Well, first, I want to say
that there are amazingly brave transpeople
who should be allowed to serve,
like Kristin Beck, a retired Navy SEAL
with a Purple Heart, Bronze Star,
and countless service medals.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Yeah.
And yet Trump says transgender people in the military
would be a tremendous disruption.
And I get it.
If you constantly draw attention to yourself,
spend all day distracting everyone,
and cost taxpayers millions of dollars,
the perfect job for you isn't the military.
It's the president of the United States.
-Thank you very much. Patti Harrison, everybody.
Thank you, Patti.
[ Cheers and applause ]
"You're lucky you're hot."
That's a -- Yeah, yeah.
Here's a local story, you guys, here.
The MTA wants to improve the subway here in New York
by removing seats from trains to fit more people.
And after that, they're going to ask riders to lie down
and spoon each other so they can pack even more inside.
Like, I'll be the inner spoon?
That's right. The MTA wants to remove seats
from trains to fit more people.
Even worse, Southwest Airlines heard that and said,
"That's a great idea. Can we do that?"
And you go, "No. You can't do that on a plane."
And finally, I saw that a woman in Texas
bought a $300 vacuum from Target
but got home and realized the box contained
dirty towels, rocks, and a can of chili...
or, as that's known over at Walmart, a gift basket.
There you guys go. We have a great show tonight.
Give it up for The Roots!