What’s up ladies and gentlemen, Brad Browning here… if this is the first time you’ve
seen one of my videos, I’m a relationship coach and I specialize in breakups and helping
people reconnect with an ex.
This time, I’m going to explain why your ex seems to be constantly sending you mixed
messages…
this is very common after a breakup, and my clients often complain about how their ex
is giving them the “hot and cold treatment”… one day they’re telling you they miss you
like crazy and seem to want to get back together, the next day they’re completely ignoring
your calls and texts.
If you’ve been there yourself, you know how frustrating this can be… it’s like
they’ve got your emotions attached to a yo-yo, giving you plenty of hope one day and
then crushing those hopes shortly thereafter.
So, the first thing you should understand is that this type of behavior is completely
normal…
your ex isn’t weird or unique because he or she gives you a positive vibe one day and
then seems cold or completely indifferent the next.
In my experience, women tend to be more likely to send these kinds of mixed messages after
a breakup, but men are definitely guilty as well.
The bottom line is that it’s very common.
Secondly, before I jump into talking about why they’re doing this and what it means,
I want to warn you about trying to read too much into your ex’s actions… sure, sometimes
you can get a genuine idea of your ex’s feelings by reading between the lines, but
it’s also very easy to overanalyze or misinterpret things.
I’ve got a video specifically dedicated to this topic, so for now I’ll just say
this: try not to spend all your time thinking about things your ex has said or done, re-reading
their texts and snooping their Facebook wall.
That kind of stuff isn’t going to get you any closer to winning them back, so it’s
always better to focus on the things you can control than to stress about what your ex
is doing or saying.
OK, now, back to the topic at hand… you want to know why your ex keeps giving you
the ‘hot and cold’ treatment, and what the hell it means for your chances of getting
back together.
Well, typically this type of back-and-forth attitude is a result of your ex’s own internal
struggles.
He or she has obviously decided – at least rationally and consciously – that your relationship
isn’t worth pursuing, hence the breakup.
But just because they’ve chosen to end the relationship doesn’t mean that your ex isn’t
having second thoughts or struggling to adapt to life without you.
They’re probably just as heartbroken about the breakup as you are, and, just like you,
they’re on a bit of an emotional roller coaster ride.
Surely you’ve had your ups and downs since the breakup as well, right?
When you’re out with your friends, having fun, everything seems OK… no crying, no
sitting around thinking about how much life sucks, and so on.
But an hour later, when you’re alone and your friends are no longer around to distract
you, those emotions can sometimes come flooding back, and all of a sudden you feel the heartbreak
and loneliness again.
Your ex is experiencing the same emotional roller coaster… one minute they’re feeling
confident about their decision to break up with you, because life is going well, their
mind is occupied, and they’re not feeling the post-breakup emotions.
The next minute, they’re alone, missing you like crazy, and they cave in to these
emotions and pick up their phone to call you or send you a text.
Keep in mind that your ex may also be struggling with their decision to break up with you.
Their head says that it’s the right choice, and their heart says that they should run
back to you and get back together so that their pain will disappear.
If you’ve dumped someone before, then you know exactly what I’m talking about.
The heartache that you feel after breaking up with someone can often cause you to give
in to temptation and take them back, even when you may logically believe that’s the
wrong decision.
When your ex is going through these same emotions, they’re usually going to have enough self-restraint
to resist the temptation to run over to your house and ask to get back together…
but they may not be able to stop themselves from texting you to say that they miss you,
or calling you to chat because they’re lonely and missing your company.
On the other hand, when they’re feeling good or they’re keeping busy, then they’re
not going to be feeling those downer emotions and they’re more likely to ignore your call
or say something that gives the impression there’s no hope of ever getting back together.
Obviously, if you’re trying to rekindle things with your ex, then the fact that your
ex is struggling with the decision to break up is good news.
When he or she tells you they miss you, or seems to be particularly affectionate on a
particular day, those feelings are usually real… but the problem is that your ex can
usually squash those feelings with the rationale belief that breaking up was the right decision.
Taking advantage of your ex’s uneasiness and uncertainty about the decision to end
your relationship is a key component of my Ex Factor Guide program, so if your ex is
giving off the hot and cold messages, then head over to www.BreakupBrad.com and check
out my free video… in it I talk more about how to overpower your ex’s logical, rational
thinking and tap into their emotions, hopefully leading them to cave in and ask you to get
back together and give the relationship another shot.
Again, the address for that video is BreakupBrad.com.
I’ll put that link in the description below as well.
There’s one other reason why your ex may be sending you mixed messages… and that’s
because they want to keep you as a backup plan in case they decide the single life isn’t
as great as they’d hoped it would be.
Sometimes this is something that people do without actually realizing it consciously…
but it’s still fairly common, and it actually makes sense when you think about it.
If your ex was the one to initiate the breakup, and he or she knows you still want to be together,
then they’re in total control of the situation…
so they’ll send you a series of confusing up-and-down messages that leave you thinking
there’s still hope of getting back together, while they take the time to feel things out
and see what life is like without you by their side.
This allows your ex to either enjoy the freedom of being single or to pursue other romantic
options….
While they occasionally send you affectionate messages or signals to make sure you remain
interested and don’t lose hope of getting back together.
Basically, this gives your ex the best of both worlds… they get to break up with you
and test out what it’s like to be single while they keep you as their backup plan,
knowing you’ll jump at the chance to get back together if they ask.
This is obviously a bit devious of your ex to play this kind of game and toy with your
emotions just so they can keep their options open, but it’s also very common and completely
logical from your ex’s perspective.
However, if you want to get back together with your ex, then you absolutely cannot let
yourself fall into this trap and be your ex’s backup plan…
it’s very dangerous to hand over all the power and let your ex have total control.
Partly, you can escape this situation by using the No Contact method that I advocate in some
of my other videos…
and this is also a topic covered in my Ex Factor Guide, so if you’re worried that
you might be falling victim to your ex’s games, then I urge you to grab a copy of the
program or at least watch the video on my website, www.BreakupBrad.com.
You can also get my personal guidance to navigate your way out of this situation by signing
up for my 1-on-1 coaching subscription, if there are any spots available right now…
check out my current coaching availability and sign up at BreakupBrad.com/Coaching….
That’s BreakupBrad.com/Coaching, and of course I’ll have that link in the description
below as well.
And that’s pretty much all I have time for in this one… remember not to overanalyze
or overthink your ex’s words and actions, and definitely don’t let yourself get sucked
into a situation where you hand over all the power to your ex.
Thanks so much for watching guys, please click the like button if you learned something from
this video or found it helpful, I really appreciate the support.
Best of luck out there, and I’ll talk to you soon!