Hello Everybody! My name is Markiplier and welcome to "Reigns".
Now when I played "Sort the Court" a lot of you guys told me it was a lot like this game here.
And, in fact, I wanna play "Sort the Court" again because
there's been a massive update to the game that adds more interactions
new characters, new goals, and even an ending that actually
is there. So, I'm going to be playing that again, but I wanted to play this first
because I wanted to get a good idea of what this one was all about.
And also Wade played it and seemed like he had some fun with it
So anyway! Oh, are you the king?
NoooOOOo
What happens if I say no?
Hellooo?
Noo. No, noooo.
"I only talk to the King. If you're not the King, I'm going back to sleep."
Okay, good night!
The spirit looks at you thoughtfully then disappears. You enter the 'thone' room.
..The -Throne- Room
Ooookayyy
So what about that?
Can I not? Oh, I do have a mouse, okay.
Eh.
Oh, oh, g- I didn't know what that was! I'm not good at this!
Uuuuh, I'm not good at this yet...
Hey everybody, hold on
alright so this is weird.
So there's no clicking involved
Oh, okay.
"The King of the West is offering us money to buy a small part of the country," says John Croonwell
The king of the West? I thought I was the only king.
I don't bow down to no king!
I am the king!
I'm the only king...
"My Lord, Guybrosh Loosetongue managed to set a lion loose in the streets of the capital. It's pandemonium!"
Uhh, "send the army"...
"Close the castle gates" ?
I mean, if we close the castle gates, isn't that just gonna create a death pit with a lion in the middle?
Or maybe it's not going to be able to escape...
Seems like a rather extravagant use of the entire army - just close the gates, they'll sort it out
Cm..C'mon...C'mon, Lady Grey!
C'mon.
Okay.
"An earthquake?...
...destroyed a large part of the capital! The City Guard awaits your orders."
Prevent pillaging or save the victims..
Aaaaaaaaaah...
Well, me no likey pillaging - so don't do that
No one gonna take advantage of this situation
What? Oh... you -- "Your people are famished and unrest is spreading."
What?
Whaaaat?
I have no idea.
Oh God.
"The castle is ransacked,
your court disperses and you're left with pigeons to rule over."
Oh. I'm dead. Ah fuckernut. How did I die that quickly?
Was I a terrible king? Was I really all that bad?
I mean if you guys think about it, if you really weigh your options, could I've been that horrible?
Yeah I was...I was probably terrible..
I ALSO DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO DO THIS. Okay portrait gallery.
wha- hmoh- "One of 26 deaths suffered"
Ohhh Uuu govern at least- I ca- I did-
I didn't even govern at least five years!
I am a big ol' bag of dicks, aren't I?
I am - oh boy. I am - whoo eyy.
Okay, let's try this again!
Now that i know how to play.
Oh King Harry. Alrighty then.
Well that first king was an asshole!
No one - ignore that it's -
Hello everybody my name is Henry!
I'm here to be....here.
Are you the young king? , ahhh..
Not again. Ahh just kidding
I know we´ve already been through this
Thats our curse, see? Ah
I don´t understand. We will
remember each and every king in this dynasty
every compromise, every death
for ages...oh...
Well that's no good
It is said that only the Devil will allow us to
blissfully forget the cursed Kings
but does he even exist?
aahhh, I mean probably not
That's an interesting lack of faith. I would
love to be free though.
Not me, I like being king
The spirit slowly drifts away...
Alright, let's see if I can stop being such a
bag of dicks, and actually live longer
than five years... right
The kingdom of the South claims that you're
betrothed to their young princess.
Declining may trigger war.
Uuuhh.. Yeah I'm gonna put a big NO
on that one, because i don't think
anybody cares. Du- I'm not
marrying nobody, till I see them
so no
Ha ha, there's war.
Would you like to play Red Dwarf my lord?
Let's start with a small bet, I don't wanna ruin you.
Again? These things that I don't understand
I'll play it, fine
Dice are rolling!. I'm pretty sure I won
You don't want to raise the stakes while you still can?
Oh yeah, well fuck you dude
Let's do this, oh
Guybrosh Loosetongue slowly
lifts the goblet, revealing two dice....
Okey
Odd. I won, care to play-
-How does that mean- You- You didn't even
explain the rules to me, Guybrosh Loosetongue!!
Ahh, let's play again. Yeah. Let's do that
Pretty sure I won, alright
I raise you sir
I RAISE AGAIN
I have to bet the tre- OOOHHH
I RAISE
ooh
Wha- Oh- wha- wait ooooh
Wait, hey hang on a sec- Woo
You were- you- ah- wait, hey
WAIT A MINUTE, hey what? WHAT?
Your country is ruined my Lord.
Merchants and nobility own everything.
What? What? Wai-
OH GOD
Ohhh. The new oligarchy forces you to exile
Poor dick-bag of a Henry,
gambled the entire kingdom away
what a loser he is
Oh, he's being eaten by
spiders and crabs
Are those crabs? Okey
Well that sucked. Well the king's dead
He lived less long than
the last king. Uuuh
I am, ah I am an even bigger
bag of dicks than the last one.
Next the ghost is gonna tell me:
Yes, it is our curse of the kings.
We each shall be resurrected
as an even bigger bag of dicks
Alright, one of these day I'll get five
years. There's a cholera outbreak in
the capital! It's Blue Death.
At least it's not Black Death.
Alright, fine then. Could we dismember
Guybrush Loosetongue, please?
This clown broke down a trebuchet.
GUYBRUSH LOOSETONGUE !?
I know that man. I was playing tennis with
a giant. He won.
Let's see. Pay the army. Pay the army?
We can never be too prepared
You need to recruit more soldiers
Okey, sounds good to me
We wolud like to raise a new
tax for the Church, shared with the
crown of course. Nooo
Nay I say!
Hum.. a young woman claims that
her son is in fact your bastard
Should we make this problem disappear?
Well I mean, I´ve got patented
evidence that I- No one
would touch me, because I keep dying
and making terrible decisions
Ahhhhh... yes?
You never hear from the woman again
I don´t know if I ever heard from her in the first place
Your people are famished and unrest is
spreading. What? Oh god
OH GOD DAMMIT
I just wanna survive five years
I can't.I can't be this bad at this.
Is there a right choice?
I thought this was gonna be like
random chance so... oops OK
Alright then, we're gonna-
My lord, what about a bit of fencing?
I'm a good teacher lets bet a bit of money.
Well, knowing my history with gambling...
I'd say you're on and you're gonna eat my dust.
You will dance in hell.
And I will laugh too, wait.
With you I will. Ha Haa!
This one will be difficult to parry
be careful. You too.
Ha Haa
Ohh ho ho hoo
Heeeeeeell yeah
You won my lord, beginner's luck!
Do you want to know how to improve?
Huh, as if I'm not already the best
I'm ok, I'm good
See. We would like to build a school
in the capital for the enlightenment
of the people. I like schools
Schools are cool.
The miners are refusing to dig in the mine.
They want a raise.
Those dirty rotten miners
With the name of Puck
Want a raise
How about no? Dig harder.
The kingdom of the South claims-
Oh God, not these guys again
NOOOO
Show a picture first, paint me something.
The river Drop is flooding a
large part of the country! We need
help from the Church and the army.
Ok I understand now
So, I got to keep the things at the top of the list
Balanced, and let them not hit zero.
Some decisions make it go up
Some desicions make it go down
And strategy, so it's not random chance
Like I thought it was
Ah, we need help from the church and the army
Alright fin- Oh God No
The Eastern baronies are at war again
and their population is crossing our frontier as we speak.
Ah, COME ON IN!
Come on, yeah, come on in yeah
I govern 5 five years, I finally did it
We should attack the kingdom of the South!
They're growing stronger every day
You know what? Screw those assholes.
They keep wanting me to marry their daughter
I don't want that.
All of them collectively, they have one daughter.
And they betrothed themselves to me
KILL THOSE BASTARDS.
I'm sister Pauline the headmistress of the new school.
Help us nurture the young souls!
Sure, ok. Oh god I'm out of money
Cereals are very cheap these days my Lord.
You should adjust the price of bread.
DOUBLE IT
DOUBLE IT INDEED
A ship has been quarantined.
It may be the plague. Shall we quarentine
the whole port?
*weird noise*
I don't feel like doing that
Neee~
No other ship was presented with the disease. We're safe!
Hey! I took a gamble on the
lives of my people
and everything's okay. Alright keep an eye on that.
The're too many people to execute!
I need help- Oh geez. How many?
Woah Justice Jest
Holy shit, you wanna calm down there?
Frickin' judge dread over there
Why you killing so many people?
Uh, We don't have army to spare, but I don't have
people to spare either so.. sure
Oh geez. Vikings
are attacking us. We should defend our kingdom
from the North. Sure, defend
Hacha~ whoa that was close.
I would like to spend- Justice Jest
I would like to spend some time studying horticulture at the school
Uuuh, nnnoo? Thank you. Good God.
Victory! The Vikings are defeated!
Should we exterminate all the prisoners?
I mean, why the fuck not?
Oh shit, God dammit, my military
The harvest has been fantastic my Lord.
Feed the army
Uuuhh everyone got a boon
Hell yeah
We should create a museum of science to collect all living creatures
I can help in my spare time.
Wow, Justice Jest
Sure is turning a new leaf over here
I- I can't belive this is the same guy that
executed half of my population!
Okay, Justice Jest!
Suuuuuuure, we got the money
The harvest is a nightmare
people are famished. Please Sire,
decrease the taxes
HOW DARE YOU!
How daaare you.
How dare you even
insinuate that I should.
Alright, fine. I'll do that.
WHAAAAT?
NOOOOOO
I did not know I was going to be doing that
Ok, is a- is a big circle a plus
and a little circle a minus
or do I have to guess what they're gonna do?
We heard strange noises at the castle last night
We should have more guards patrolling!
Noo, we don't have the money to spare
A convent of nuns has started meowing
like cats. It's spreading to the village.
I don't see a problem here!
Meowing nuns seems like an entertaining night!
Why would I care?
I - In fact, I don't care.
"The nuns kept meowing for ages."
In the end, the church declared them heretics, and burnt down the covenant.
Well, it's good thing they got eight lives left...
*Markimoans*
Boink.
Ok...
The King of the West has been informed of the state of our army, and is now attacking us.
Retreat and regroup!
Hell yeah...
We need to build a new church.
How about - "We don't have the god-damn money"?
We already had a covenant (-.-) burnt to the ground,
I'm not gonna build another one, just to have it burnt down too.
No, oh?
Oh.
Oh, I'm still alive though.
A new farming tiki - take - teek - teek - tekteek.
has considered-im - cn-cn -
Has considerably improved -
"Hooked on Phonics" worked for me. (Really Mark? Covenant?)
What do you want to do with this income?
IT'S MINE!!! ALL MINE!!!
It seem my advice is not to your liking.
You know who rules above men and Kings.
I'm sorry?
Oopsie-doopsie oopie-powie, sorry, I repent.
The war is long and painful.
Call for a ceasefire? No!
Just no.
What are you talking about?
I'm not tired.
Well the army hit.. uh
(more stuttering)
AHH NO! OH NO!
Oh no, we're too weak
You lead the last remnants of your army and die on the steps of the throne
Oh what a tragic end to a tragic tale of bullshit
Alrighty then
Hey! But at least I la-
At least I lived almost as long as I've been alive now
Hey!
What is that?
What's that symbol there?
Try the blue one.. recruit the doctor.. meet the devil? I don't know what any of that means
What is all that?
What is that?
You have neither curse, nor spell, nor magical item.. What is that? I gotta get to that symbol!
OOH! I gotta survive a little longer!
Give us enough power to enforce the divine justice in your country
The Pope is ready to pay the price
..Sure?
YEAH MONEY! OH HELL YEAH!
My Lord, you are a Saint! The Pope wants to establish his estates here!
Sure!
Goddamnit.
The Pope's armies are taking control of our Holy country. This is Heaven on Earth!
What, WHAT?
WHOA!
Ooookay that didn't go as planned
It was going great!
So you can't let them reach the top of the thing either
I lasted two freakin' years
And I didn't get to the symbol, okay
Gonna try this again
Try the blue one
Okee
The fortress is too weak. We should build a tower.
I agree
Our beautiful capital smells of garbage half the year. Let's build a sewer system.
I agree
Ooh. You should organize a curfew. The streets of the Capital at night are not safe.
Nay i s- oh fuck there goes all my progress and no money
Do you need some credit my Lord? Eight thousand gold pieces at five percent interest.
Yesssss
Peasants are revolting! Large groups of people are ransacking the capital. Your army is overwhelmed.
REINFORCE THE ARMY!
Aw shit.
Would you like to marry the young princess of a neighbouring kingdom?
Finally! Someone asks me what I want!
Hell. Yes. I hope she's pretty.
My Lord, it's time to pay your debt.
You are dead
You're dead! Rahhhhh.
This is the 20th century my lord. We should celebrate
Okay Lady Grey, are you-
Are you my wife?
Okay. The folks of a remote village are teaching their children to spit on the King's men. Should we make an example?
No! Let 'em spit, everybody spits! It's probably a misunderstanding
The river Drop is dry again, we should build a dam
No 'cause that could end terribly.
Wou- Oh hey. Oh! It's a pupper!
Ooh! I agree!
The FUCK was that?!
What did he say?
We should create a pilgrimage to the tomb of Saint Armand.
Do I really have time for that?
No.
I have a gift for you in one of my- oh god
Eenie meenie minie mo, catch a tiger by the toe
Blah blah blahblahblah
Blee blah blee bloo!
Gives you a golden cross, then he runs away shrieking
Okay thank you!
This bloody jester stole our cross, but.. what is this in your hand?
Let's see.
Uh.. State property!
No one will suspect a thing
My lord, the good doctor just saved the life of my nephew. He is a bit of a magician. He is here now...
Sure. Let him in, I wanna see him
Oh
I'm a doctor, alchemist, prisoner. I can han-
Ohhhhhhh
kay?
I can handle life for de- you, or death occasionally.
Focus on the life part because I think the church is about to kill me
The people are- yep here they go!
Welp. Okey dokey, a pagan mob murdered you during your escape attempt.
Okeeeey
I'm dead, Gerald the Wise is now Gerald the dead.
But, I crossed the threshold of a-something! And I recuited a doctor!
Hooray for me, I did a thing!!
Huzzah to all! So that's good.
Also what is this? I did something.
Okay so anyway that's all the time I got for Reigns
This is actually a lot of fun
I might play more of this
I'm also gonna play, uh, more Sort the Court
of the updated version of that
but, I wanna so another episode of this, this is actually pretty cool
I wanna get to that guy over there and try to fight another kingdom over there
So, it's gonna be fun
So thank you everybody so much for watching
and as always
I will see you in the next video
Buh-Bye!
♬