Have you ever felt like your boss is the villain in your workplace
story and that they're always out to get you?
It's kind of like Wile E.
Coyote and the Roadrunner, where you are the Roadrunner, they're
Wile E.
Coyote, and they're constantly setting up traps for you to trip on.
Well, if you feel that way, you're not alone.
Many of the executives that I work with have felt this way before.
By the way, I used to love watching Looney Tunes growing up every
Saturday morning.
By the way, if you're a Looney Tunes fan, just like me, comment below.
I wanna hear from you.
And what I'm gonna share with you in this video, especially if you
manage teams and that relationship with your boss is crucial in your
success, in your movement and your career growth, then I'm gonna share
with you five key principles on how you can turn that adversarial
relationship into a successful one.
Principle number one, perceive the power of perspective.
Now, that's a tongue twister, isn't it?
When it comes to perspective, this is one of the most powerful ways
that you can influence yourself and to change a situation around you
and to be able to be empowered in that event because you are
experiencing an event when you see your boss doing something, when you
see them, when you hear them responding to you in a certain way,
oftentimes we have a judgment about that action.
We have a judgment of what is happening around us, and we have a
judgment about the situation.
Now, oftentimes, when it comes to experiencing these events in our
lives, it's not the event themselves that produces frustration and
fear.
It's not the event themselves, but rather is it is our response in the
way we process those events.
Now, this is all about how can we focus on the things that we have
control over?
Because let's face it, to be honest, how can we have control over how
our boss reacts to us?
How can we have control over what our boss does and the decisions that
he or she makes?
We don't have control over any of those things outside of us, and
there's only two things in life that we do have control over, and
those two things are our own perspectives and our own actions.
So you can change a heaven into a hell, or you can change a hell into
a heaven depending on your perspectives, on what you are observing
that is happening around you.
So once you gain that perspective, it's about learning from this
moment, taking an opportunity to say, what can I learn here?
How is this situation serving me?
What are the benefits that I can see that this is happening?
These are the events that are happening right now, the way that my
boss is behaving, the actions that he or she is taking, the decisions
that they're making.
But I can also see how that is benefiting me.
I can also see very precisely how those things are serving me.
And in that moment, the way that we see the world, as soon as we see
the world a different way, the world around us changes.
So the power of your perspective is one of the most influential things
that can you can do for yourself, and how you can influence yourself
to stand up and be empowered.
So this is the key to perceive the power of your perspectives.
So once you're able to gain perspective on your boss's behaviors, this
is where you can be truly like the road runner where he continues on
his journey without judging whether Wile E.
coyote's actions are setting up traps for him without judging whether
or not Wile E.
Coyote's actions are really out to get 'em.
And therefore the fear and the frustrations that you felt before will
subside.
You can proceed in your journey to push your agenda forward.
You can proceed in your journey to lead your teams without that fear
and frustration that you experienced before.
Right?
So that is principle number one is to perceive the power of your own
perspective.
And now that leads us to principle number two, and that is to
prioritize self-governance.
Self-governance.
What is self-governance?
Governance, the root word of governance is to govern, which is to
really master or control.
So when it comes to the way we grew up, when you think about your age
from zero to 18, we are under the governance of our parents or our
teachers or our guardian.
If you never grew up with your parents, right?
So we're governed by them.
In other words, our parents tell us when to wake up, when to have
dinner, not to have dessert before dinner, that you know what we
should study to for school, how we should do well in school, that we
should listen to our teachers and so forth.
What are, what constitutes good manners, right?
Our teachers are parents start out by telling us these things.
And so we're governed by our parents when we're growing up.
Now we proceed after we leave home, and some of us go to college and
some of us go to straight to work.
And in that instance, sometimes that governance from our parents
continues onwards, but then now we're introduced to new teachers,
sometimes college professors or our bosses as well, and other managers
that we come along the path and then we are governed by that.
Or sometimes it could be preachers, teachers and preachers, or it
could be societies or cultural teachings as well.
And so therefore, we are governed by those things and those continue
on to life.
And so that is what I call extrinsically governed.
We're governed by things outside of us, and this can continue on, so
on and so forth into our career path.
As we become executives and we lead teams, sometimes if we're unaware
of this, we can continue to be extra externally governed.
Now, self-governance is the opposite, it's where I am able to govern
myself, which means I am understanding who I am.
I know what my values are and my priorities.
I know what is important to me, I know who I am becoming, and I know
the value I bring with respects to my environment.
And so therefore, I have clarity on what my life's priority is and my
purpose and my mission that I am going to pursue.
So that is being self-governed.
When you are a self-governed, this is where your pursuit of career and
your growth, your pursuit of relationships becomes more meaningful,
and you are more likely to be resilient, and you're more, you are more
likely to be able to proceed through challenges, through supports when
you are self-governed.
So the pursuit and the prioritization of self-governance is gonna help
you when it, when it comes to creating meaningful and equitable
relationships with your boss, regardless of how they do act,
regardless of what decisions they do make, which you have no control
over.
But when you're self-governed, you know who you are.
You know your values and your priorities, and you can govern yourself
with respect to that relationship, right?
It's not about changing yourself, it's not about changing other people
as well, but it is showing up truly authentically and bringing your
whole self to work.
And that is also the second part of the only thing you have control
over is your perspectives.
And now your actions.
Your actions is changed when you are self-governed because now you're
no longer living by imperatives.
Imperatives sound like I should be this way.
I shouldn't do that.
I should.
I'm supposed to.
I'm not supposed to.
I need to.
I'm, I don't need to.
So those, those are living by imperatives.
When we're self-governed, we live by our values honoring and
appreciating our values, but also honoring and appreciating others'
values as well, and being able to find the point of equity between the
two.
So this is principle number two, prioritizing self-governance.
Principle number three is to practice letting go.
Oftentimes, the journey towards professional development and personal
growth.
That journey is so foundationally set upon letting go.
What are we letting go of?
We're letting go of old beliefs, letting go of philosophies that no
longer serve us, letting go of the way we used to do things, or how we
have feel things, or the way that we see the world, our perspectives
and and our tendencies towards things, our sensitivities.
These are the things that often hold us back from the real objectives
we set for ourselves.
So this is the process of letting go.
How can we let go of these things that hold us back?
How can we let go of these old patterns that are holding us from being
able to achieve our fullest potentials that we desire?
So this is the process of letting go.
And once you practice letting go, it becomes a way for you to live
your life truly empowered in all areas.
If you're listening to this and you're serious about taking your
executive career to the next level, and you recognize that some of
these things might be holding you back, but up until now you haven't
had a single strategy that really work for you sustainably, then I
invite you to work with me.
Below in the description, there is a link for you to book a call with
a member of my team, and we're gonna talk about how this works and how
it's gonna work for you as well, and how it's, how it might be a right
fit.
And if it is, you're gonna be invited to join another team of
executives where every single week I provide that mentorship to show
you how do you practice letting go?
How do you practice letting go of patterns that might have been very
difficult to let go of?
And how do you achieve that self-governance?
And more importantly, what are the steps and the strategic steps in
order to turn that adversary relationship into a successful
partnership?
And this is gonna help you to build a meaningful and equitable
relationship with your boss and all of those that you manage beneath
you as well in a way that is equitable and meaningful moving forward.
So click the link below, and I look forward to with working with you
on the inside.
Principle number four is to promote genuine understanding.
Sometimes the way that we observe our boss's actions, the way that we,
we see what they're doing and how they're making decisions, and he
listen to what we're saying.
Sometimes our interpretation and hence our understanding of what is
isn't actually it.
It's not.
It wasn't their intention.
Sometimes there could be that misunderstanding, even though in that
moment we are absolutely convinced that they're out to get us, even
though in that moment we're absolutely certain that they were setting
a trap for us.
Sometimes as hard as we hold that opinion and that assessment, that
isn't actually reality, it isn't actually true.
And oftentimes that is a response to our own traumas in the past that
were undealt with these assessments and judgments of other people's
actions.
If, especially if you're noticing that it's a pattern that you've been
having in previous work experiences as well.
Oftentimes that is a response, a trauma response to how we assess
someone else's actions.
So this is about principle number four is to promote a genuine
understanding when you understand genuinely the intentions of another
person's actions, the which is the reason behind their actions, which
oftentimes is a taboo to even talk about or to even explore sometimes.
But when you seek to have a genuine understanding, this is what will
empower you to open lines of communication.
This is what will also empower you to really find common grounds and
to really build a sustainable fair exchange with your boss where there
can be meaningfulness and there can be equity as well.
So that is principle number four, is to really promote that genuine
understanding.
Principle number five is to preserve true character.
Now, back to our friends, Wile E.
Coyote and the Roadrunner.
The Roadrunner is gonna continue to run and be in the running because
that's, that's who he is, regardless of how many traps Wile E.
Coyote does set.
And no matter how many traps those did fail and how he keeps trying
again, while the road runner knows who he is, and he's gonna continue
to be in the running, and that is his true character preserved.
So what this means is how can you be the biggest and best version of
yourself?
But that goes right back to understanding what's important to me, who
am I and what are my value structures?
So preserving that true, that true character is gonna allow you to be
able to feel empowered and safe to show up and bring your whole self
to the relationship with your boss and the relationship with your
peers and your direct reports as well.
So that is principle number five.
And when you apply all five of these principles, that's gonna truly
enable you to have turning that relationship from an adversarial one
into a successful partnership through challenge and support, that you
might be able to be resilient and and achieve success in that
relationship.
Now, handling the anxiety of my bosses out to get me is one thing, but
it's also not uncommon to feel unseed and unheard despite your best
efforts.
Now, if you're feeling that way, that you have the qualifications, the
skillsets, you have had some major wins in the organization and you've
led projects towards success, but you're still feeling not visible,
you're still feeling unheard or unappreciated, then in my next video I
talk about how do you achieve more visibility at work.
And that video is coming right up next.
I'll see you there.