FOOTBALL CHALLENGES. MBAPPE VS HAALAND
Good luck Kylian. - Good luck to you too, Erling.
Your incredible football skills give me free motivation.
Oh, you are too kind.
Jesus Christ, this is a sprint challenge, not a date.
Go. I've been shot.
Great start Klyian. -Thanks.
Your incredible speed is giving me free motivation.
Stop flatting.
Draw.
Oh, what an anti-climax.
These two are just so boring.
Agreed. I've seen more charisma in the contents of my daughters snappies.
Okay, Klyian first. - Go.
Good luck Klyian. - Thanks Erling.
I said GO.
Yes. - Well done Klyian.
Thanks Erling. - Erling, you are next.
Go.
Klyian, your incredible shot has given me free motivation.
I said GO.
Yes. -Draw. -Well done Erling.
Thanks for the free motivation.
These two are the next GOATS to replace us.
Apparently, pathetic isn't it? They are a bigger downgrade then when Real Madrid sold me and bought Eden Hazard. The idiots.
Real Madrid are idiots? Barcelona haven't even bought a downgrade for Luis Suarez.
Uh, Erling, what the hell are those trophies?
The Austrian League and Cup. - Never heard of them.
How do I know you haven't just bought two random trophies on Amazon?
You have my word. - Or even if they're real, they're trash. The only good thing to come out of Austria is Arnold Schwarzneger.
And he father the inlegitimate child with his hosuemate, so Klyian wins. - Yes.
Well done Klyian. Your trophy collection gives me free motiva- NEXT CHALLENGE.
Why the hell does Erling keeps going on about motivation. Does he wants to be one of the GOATS or one of the greatest actors.
Klyian, what inspired this blue rims? - It was Erling Haaland to give me the motivation.
Oh, don't you start with this motivation bullshit.
How did he motivate you? - I just love the fact that he dyes his hair the same colour as his kit.
What? I don't dye my hair.
Really? - Really.
You mean its always been bright yellow? - Yes.
You are like a real-life Bart Simpson.
Real life Bart Simpson on steroids.
Okay Erling, your turn.
Ha, tragic. - Its almost as tragic as before you dyed it.
Klyian blue hair give me the motiva-
Point to Klyian. - Well done, K-
They're both tragic haircuts to be fair.
Coming from a man who actually played football looking like this.
See, this is exactly the kind of hillarious football banter those two boring bastards will never produce.
Okay. I want to see three goal celebrations each.
Go topless, Siiii. - Or hold your shirt up to the rival fans.
Ha, good one. Or do a calmdown gesture to the rival fans. Classic shit-housery.
The best set of goal celebrations wins. And anyone who mentions the M-word is instantly disqualified.
The M-word? -Mommy, as smashing mommy I guess.
What? I meant motivation.
Erling, you start. -Go.
Yes. -Well done... -Go.
Yes. -Yes. He's taking the piss with that.
Finally some footy banter.
He's not banter. Erling's goal celebration gave me free 'motivation' to copy it.
What? - He wasn't taking the piss.
He was doing it in tribute. I think I'm going to be sick.
Wait a minute. You used the M-word.
Oops. -It's the disqualification.
Point to Erling. -Damn.
Oh, poor Klyian, he can have my point if he wants.
WHAAAT?!
The next person who tries to gift a point to their rival will be disqualified from the whole video.
Hey Neymar, I have an idea for the next challenge to spice things up a bit.
I'm all ears. I gave up spending a day with my sister to film this shit.
Okay guys, just remember this is a real TV interview we set up.
But... - Stop freestyling Erling. You can only say what we tell you to say.
But... - Or else we'll remove the release clause from your contract.
How's that for motivation?
Your wish is my command.
But... -And we'll sign a PSG contract extension for you Kylian.
Your wish is my command.
I'm going to do that anyway.
Erling, you seem to have a lot of respect for Klyian.
Say: "Not really". - Not really.
"Compared to me he's shit." - Compared to me he's shit.
At least he hasn't clammed up like he normally does.
Klyian, do you believe that you and Erling will replace Messi and Ronaldo as the GOATS?
Say: "No chance" - No chance. There's more chance of Martin Braithwaite and Vinicius Jr replacing them. We're shit.
Erling, say: "Who are you calling shit?" - Who are you calling shit?
Say it angrily meathead.
Who are you calling shit?
Say: "You, anabolic steroid Draco Malfoy." - You, anabolic steroid Draco Malfoy.
Erling, act upset and say: "How could you?"
Uh, how could you? - Seriously?
Headbutt him. Now you do the wapping.
Who's crying now, Donnatello?
Let's stop there. - Wait. Quickly, say this.
Wait. Before you stop filming, I just wanted to say. -Go on.
Real Madrid are pile of steaming dogshit. I'd never join them, not since they downgraded Ronaldo to Belgian Charlie Adams.
Klyian, quick, say one last thing. - I'd never join Real Madrid either.
Now end the interview and bring your World Cup medal for me to have a look at.
Oh, I mean, interview over, I'm out of here.
Oh, that went perfectly. - Now that is how you do footy banter.