Good morning, John. Here in America, it is the day after Thanksgiving, which means that it is Black Fri-
[TWITTER:] Hey, Hank! It’s Twitter... It’s Twitter, I have a question.
[HANK:] What? [TWITTER:] What’s your most controversial opinion?
[HANK:] Oh come on, Twitter. Why would I tell you that?
[TWITTER:] Content, man! It’s content!
It’s an easy format to put your own personal spin on without having to come up with something fresh.
[HANK:] Yeah… No, yeah, that makes sense, but look. My most controversial opinions are pretty controversial.
And they’re also like nuanced and take a long time to explain.
For example - [TWITTER:] No! God.
You make everything so complicated. You’re just supposed to something dumb
that everybody’s gonna be mad about, like, “Indian food is bad and everyone knows it.”
[HANK:] Why would anyone say that? Like even if I don’t like Indian food,
I recognize that some people must, right? What’s the point?
[TWITTER:] To make people mad! [HANK:] Yeah, you’re right…
[TWITTER:] It’s ENGAGING. I’m leading you to the water here, but I can’t make you drink!
You just have to come up with something dumb that 80 to 90% of people are gonna despise…
But then 10 to 20% of people will be on your side and they will have your back,
and that’s gonna keep the conversation going!
[HANK:] Oh my God! Like... this seems complicated.
[TWITTER:] No one said any of this was easy, baby! Your job is to make it look easy!
[HANK:] Well, actually… I think it is.
[TWITTER:] What? [HANK:] It’s easy.
Butt is legs. [TWITTER:] What?
[HANK:] Butt... is legs.
[TWITTER:] That’s ludicrous… Butt is butt.
[HANK:] Butt is butt, but butt is also legs.
[TWITTER:] Butt is butt.
[HANK:] Butt is legs.
[TWITTER:] That’s… I mean, the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard!
[HANK:] Look, your leg bone is in your butt.
[TWITTER:] But you only have one butt!
[HANK:] I know! That’s what makes this such an interesting sentence!
It’s grammatically confusing because you have a singular butt, but plural legs!
But this isn’t a grammatical question, it’s an anatomical one,
and BUTT. IS. LEGS!
[TWITTER:] But scientifically, anatomically, your gut is in your torso, and your gut ends in your butthole,
which is your butt. So butt is torso, right?
[HANK:] The butthole is not legs… The butthole is not butt.
[TWITTER:] THE BUTTHOLE IS NOT BUTT?!! It’s in the name!!
[HANK:] The butt transitions to butthole, just as hand is not arm. Arm transitions into hand -
[TWITTER:] Okay, so hand is not arm! Then shoulder is not arm. Then butt is not legs.
[HANK:] Shoulder is arm.
[TWITTER:] Don’t say it. [HANK:] And butt is legs.
[TWITTER:] AGGH!! GOD!! Okay, look… I can’t tell you why, but you are obviously wrong.
[HANK:] YOU TOLD ME TO HAVE A CONTROVERSIAL OPINION!!!
WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME FOR HAVING ONE???
[TWITTER:] Oh my God! I did, didn’t I??
Like, I had legitimate - I had forgotten! Good - good work!
[HANK:] Twitter, this is the world that we have chosen for ourselves!
[TWITTER:] You got any others? [HANK:] Alright, second controversial opinion.
Black Friday...
is dope. My first book, An Absolutely Remarkable Thing, was picked as a Black Friday deal
by Audible in the United Kingdom.
So this week in the UK, it’s only three pounds… also!
I. HAVE. A BOOK. COMING OUT.
July 7th, 2020: A Beautifully Foolish Endeavor. I can’t believe I did it, but I did it!
And lots of links to preorder that and also get a quick synopsis in the description.
I’ll be talking more about it soon.
And right through Monday there’s free shipping everywhere in the world
for all orders over $50 at DFTBA.com.
We have lots of amazing new Black Friday products. I’m wearing many of our pins that are coming out right now.
Including this Stentor Coeruleus pin from Journey to the Microcosmos.
And also because we did a Pizza John bandana this year, now we are also doing a Hank-erchief…?
Look, I don’t expect to sell a lot of them, but we had to make the joke!
So go to DFTBA.com right now!
[TWITTER:] Was this entire video a set-up for a Black Friday promotion?
[HANK:] Controversial opinion? [TWITTER:] Yeah, man!
[HANK:] Butt is legs.
[TWITTER:] GAAAHHH!!!! [HANK:] John I’ll see you on Tuesday.