- (announcer) It's time for Inappropriate Parents!
♪ (cheerful ditty) ♪ (deep sigh)
- I am so glad we took this multi-continent jaunt,
unsaddled by the kids.
- Oh, it was pretty great,
but I do feel like the kids would've learned so much
and had a great time.
- True. Well, too late now.
(both laugh)
- Hey, kids! - (Kelsey) Hey.
- Oh, did the kids behave themselves?
- Yeah, once you show them boundaries
they fall in line.
It's like breaking in two untamed mares.
- Hmm.
- Well, I'm off! Goodnight.
- Bye, Hannah.
- (dad) Bye, Hannah, thanks. (door closes)
Hey, you guys wanna see some pictures from our trip,
or as you kids say, "pics"?
- You know, I would love to-- I really would,
but I gotta study math so... - Okay, Kels?
- Oh, me? (flat giggle)
I... the thing is...
I don't care. - Ooh, you know what?
We got you a nice present from our trip abroad.
- (mom) Mmm-hmm! - What is it?
- Well, you'll have to sit through a five minute slide show
in order to get it. - (Kelsey grumbles) Okay. Fine.
- Fire it up! (laughing) Come on!
- Get over here, you. I missed you guys.
- Si bueno. - Bueno si...
(together) ... es muy picante!
(trilling tongue)
(both laugh)
- It's an inside joke from The Catalans.
(takes a deep breath) Okay.
(remote bloops) - Oh, this is the beautiful French Riviera
where we started our trip. - (mom) Yeah.
Hey, now was this taken at that European nude section
of the beach? - (dad) Uh... I'm not sure.
Go to the next slide. - Okay.
- (Kelsey) Oh my god! (Mikey gags)
- (mom) Yeah, you know, I thought it would be fun and liberating,
but all that sagging flesh,
it just gets seared in your brain.
(remote bloops)
- Oh, hey, there are our Hungarian friends
down the coast in Agatha.
You know, it's true what they say about the Hungarians.
So much body hair and loose personal morals.
(remote bloops)
- Wait, where did Domingos go?
Wait-- ah, never mind.
(mom giggles) - (dad) Hmm.
- (mom) Ooh! Then your father and I went on a spirit quest!
- Kids, remember what we told you about psychedelics?
- (both, blandly) No psychedelics until your 55,
when the better part of your life is the rear view mirror.
(mom giggles) (remote bloops)
- Ooh, this was when I got in that argument with that giraffe
about gender equality.
Do you remember that, honey? - (dad) Yeah.
Oh, and your dad. (mom sighs)
- (dad) I had a really bad trip.
I realized I just wasn't living honestly,
so the next day we decided to take a side trip to Minnesota.
- Random. (remote bloops)
- (dad) Oh. (remote bloops)
- Who are all these kids with you in all these pictures?
- Well, that's my other family.
- (snickers) You have another family?
- Well, here's the thing, champ: I do!
- (mom) And, boy, were they not happy to see us.
(remote bloops)
- (dad) But I brought them some ice cream. - (mom) Mmm-hmm.
- And they kinda still weren't happy.
- (Kelsey) Wait, who is this woman that you have another family with?
- Oh, she was a beautiful, talented woman.
Her name was Kelsey too, actually.
- Where is other Kelsey now?
- Dead. She died tragically in a fire a few years ago.
- (mom yawns) Well, we are beat.
We're just gonna go in our room and unwind.
- You comin' up, kids?
- Maybe in a minute. - Processing.
Gotta process some stuff.
- Oh, hey! I almost forgot their present.
(mom giggles)
- New brothers and sisters for you!
Come on! - (dad) There you go.
- Welcome! There we go.
- Hey. So I guess I'm sharing your room.
- And I'm with you, bro.
- (dad) And they're just gonna crash here for a little bit
and get back into all our lives.
- Woo!
We'll leave you guys to catch up.
Si bueno...
- (both) Bueno si es muy, muy picante!
(trilling tongue and chanting)
(mom continues offscreen)
- Can I share your friends?
No? Oh, okay.
♪ (cheerful ditty) ♪