- [Narrator] Hey, Psych2Goers,
and welcome back to another video.
Thank you so much for all of the love
and support that you've given us.
Here at Psych2Go, our mission is to make content
on mental health and self care more accessible to everyone.
Now, let's begin.
Everyone at some point leaves relationships,
jobs, and friendships.
Sometimes it ends up being a blessing
because they weren't right for us anyway.
But what if you can't move on or get over it?
What gives?
Is this just you not being able to get it together,
or is there something a little more sinister at play?
Unhealed relationship trauma is far deeper
than you being stressed or relationship challenged.
It's being unable to move on
because of your previous relationship.
Before we begin, we want to let you know
that the goal of this video is to help you understand
relationship trauma and possibly how this may apply to you.
With that being said, here are seven signs
you may have unhealed relationship trauma.
One, annoying physical symptoms.
Do you feel completely drained
after a long-term relationship ended?
A study shows unresolved trauma can make
normal aches and pains worse.
This seems to stem from trauma putting your body
on constant high alert, which is due to the activation
of your physiological fight, flight or freeze response.
A toxic relationship is stressful for your mind and body.
Your body's stress response was only a meant to last
for a short amount of time.
But as several experts have noted,
putting your body under stress for long periods of time
can lead to increased inflammation, arthritis,
heart attacks, weakened immune systems and chronic pain.
Two, your body and mind feel disconnected.
Since you and your ex broke up,
do people tell you that you have your head in the clouds?
Have you started feeling like your life was some movie
you were watching from the outside
when the relationship started getting bad?
These are features of disassociation
or feeling detached from reality.
A study noted people who seek help from trauma
often report feelings of disassociation.
Disassociation involves the disruption of your perceptions,
memory, processing and emotions.
These include acting or feeling as though
a traumatic event is still occurring.
Three, your brain works differently.
After ending a toxic or traumatic relationship,
did you notice getting a lot of brain fog,
forgetfulness or racing thoughts?
This is because the stress from a toxic relationship
and your body's response to the stress is ongoing.
The stress hormones adrenaline and cortisol
were not meant to be in your system longer
than a few minutes at a time.
Constantly having them in your system
changes the way parts of your brain function.
So you're probably gonna notice you can't concentrate,
your memory stinks, you feel out of control
or have racing thoughts, and you have a hard time
figuring out how to feel.
You get frustrated or angry easily.
Four, major trust issues,
even with people you know and love.
Have you put up walls around you?
Is it hard to believe in others now?
In addition to changing the way
parts of your brain functions, the trauma brought on
by a toxic relationship messes with your ability
to feel safe with another person.
This anxiety might cause your mind to come up
with every possible doomsday scenario you can
in order to protect yourself.
As a result, you doubt even those who only want your good
and have done you no wrong.
Five, you might pick fights or engage in risky business.
Unresolved trauma sufferers constantly feel on edge.
So they sometimes behave in risky ways to seek sensations,
AKA get a rush, as a way to feel like they have control
or to get a break from trauma symptoms,
such as replaying the trauma, depression,
or over-analyzing their faults.
Emotional flashbacks and all the biochemical changes
created by toxicity makes you feel like you're still
in the toxic relationship.
You feel like you have to fight to survive,
even if your present situation is perfectly safe.
People who experience disassociation as a result of trauma
are more likely to lash out aggressively
than those who are not prone to disassociation.
Six, a constant sense of shame.
Wow, I'm a horrible person,
or why didn't I see it before?
I'm so stupid for staying.
And I'm such a doormat.
These are the common thought processes
by those who have lingering relationship trauma.
They blame themselves for things not working out,
and they're ashamed.
The big difference here boils down to built and shame.
Guilt means you feel bad about something you did.
Shame means you feel bad about who or what you are.
Too much shame or guilt can not only be paralyzing,
but is also associated with trauma.
Research has shown toxic shame can make the mental,
emotional, and physical symptoms of trauma much worse.
And seven, you react physically to emotional triggers.
Have you ever heard a song or seen a picture
that made you feel nostalgic?
When you have unhealed relationship trauma,
triggers that seem normal take a much darker turn.
These triggers become more intense over time
as the memories associated with the trauma
become more intrusive.
Researchers believe these physical reactions
are due to the amygdala and the neurotransmitter
acetylcholine in the stress response.
A physical reaction to a trauma trigger might look like
shortness of breath and sweating
when your boss questions you, certain songs or phrases
give you anxiety, or you feel sick
when you smell certain foods.
Maybe you start getting chest pains or shaking
when people innocently bring up your old line of work
or your ex's favorite restaurant.
Trauma is deeper than being stuck in the past.
The symptoms of unhealed relationship trauma can hurt you.
But by taking the time to learn
about what you've experienced,
you can start figuring out how you can start healing.
Your healing journey may not go in a straight line,
and it certainly won't be perfect and that's fine.
Just as long as you keep putting one foot
in front of the other.
Could you relate to any of these signs?
Have you noticed these in someone around you?
You let us know in the comments below.
Also remember to like and share this video
with those who might benefit from it.
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and as always, thanks for watching.