limiting beliefs holding you back
Stay tuned. This is Damon Cart from NLP Gym destroy limiting beliefs with this
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have limitations police are basically generalizations that we make about
ourselves in the world based on the information that we take into our five
senses which then gets passed through all these cognitive processes that we
have so we're not really connecting and experiencing reality directly therefore
we don't know all the possibilities or we don't know all that's possible
because we don't know all that's possible we formulate these
generalizations we take experiences where there's all these commonalities we
draw a circle around commonalities of many experiences that we have and we say
okay this is how the world works
this means this here is the limitation here's what's possible here's what's not
possible
ultimately though the truth is we don't really know all that's possible and we
can have a lot of fun discovering what is possible
this doesn't mean that generalizations are bad we're going to generalize this
is how we learn new things this is how we navigate a world with so many
unknowns we need to have a sense of filling in the gaps and making meaning
and understanding the world around us is best that we can we've been creating
generalizations are police since we were babies
that's where it starts once we start to have the experience of creating
experience part of acknowledging experience we start to create
generalizations about that I believe that served you very well when you were
13 years old might not be serving you so well at the age of 31 in fact it's
probably limiting you
unfortunately for most people your beliefs especially the living ones are
on
conscious instead of looking at a belief for what it is which is just a
generalization that you've made about your own personal experiences we tend to
look at our beliefs as absolute facts
this is one question your beliefs and re-evaluating your own values on a
regular basis is so important in NLP the very first model in NLP called the
meta model there is a language pattern called the universal quantifier the
universal quantifier when you when you can hear this language pattern in
someone's language or in even in your own language or your own self talk
this is a clear indication of a limitation in your model of the world
that your map of your reality of what you think is possible and impossible the
universal quantifier uses things like always and never like I always fail
I never win people don't care
women are flaky men don't listen people are horrible
according to the metamodel you can challenge these limiting statements
known as universal quantifiers which are also generalizations you can challenge
them with questions which forces the person to go back into their own
experience and find counter-examples to this generalization this limiting belief
and the key here is the counter example you will always find counter-examples
that counter the generalizations you made based on your own experiences you
have had experiences that point at this generalization possibly being true but
you've always had counter experiences to that counter examples that contradict
those experiences for example if a person says I always fail you could say
always
you've never won anything you've never even won a game of checkers
so there was the person has to go in and in order to answer those questions finds
counter-examples to i will never win if someone says when are flaky you could
say you've never known a woman to show up on time
hard to do what she says she's going to do of course we have we all we followed
on either or that woman or we've known that woman who has shown up and who did
what they said they were going to do the same thing for men don't listen
is that true that absolutely true that there's not there's never been a single
man in this world who has listened to anyone or that people are horrible
really horrible horrible everyone in this world is horrible so these
questions challenge the limiting belief by forcing the person to go back into
their database of experience and find the counter counter experiences
counter-examples to the generalization that made counter-examples contradict
that generalization healthy generalizations are not absolute
like I said we're going to make generalizations no matter what they're
important to make the healthy generalizations are going to include
counter-examples you are going to understand that there are exceptions to
your generalization it's also presuppose that the generalization is not fact it's
not ultimate truth we don't know ultimate truth we will ever know
ultimate truth because we have a limited system of pulling in reality and in
doing so we have to make these things called generalizations which again are
not facts
these are conclusions and judgments that we've drawn based on our personal
experience but again that's our own personal experience pass through five
senses pastor all of our cognitive processes that are indicative of who we
are and every other person can experience that completely differently
when you identify a limiting belief a good place to start is to ask yourself
what is this limiting belief doing for me it's not there by mistake
it didn't just happen there is some positive intent within you that created
the generalization and it is doing something for you
it may not be serving you now but it did at one time so get in contact with that
and tap into it what is this belief doing for you discover the positive into
discover the resource that you can combine with that positive intent to
create an empowering believe while leaving the limiting part behind for
example let's say I believe I will never be rich
well there's a few things here that are a little bit as an aside to this process
I would want to first know what does rich mean to me and what is the ultimate
higher value I would want to fulfill by being rich
so say my positive intent and having such a belief that with limiting is that
I don't want to be disappointed
so then now I know what my positive intent is here so what do I want instead
of being disappointed
well I want to be joyful I want to be happy in this limiting belief about not
being rich is an obvious indication that i'm placing my joy and happiness on
outside circumstances whether or not I'm going to be rich and not wanting to be
disappointed if i'm not rich but would it would be like to access the resource
of joy and happiness within myself in a way that's not dependent upon other
people are outside circumstances and it's easy for me and it should be easy
for you to to tap into my own experiences and think of times we have
been joyful and happy it didn't cost me a dime and the happiness and the joy
came from within it wasn't dependent on other people it wasn't dependent on
outside circumstances the joy and happiness was mine
that's the counterexample times when I've experienced drawing I've
experienced happiness and it wasn't dependent on outside circumstances it
wasn't dependent on me being richer not our morning disappointment by not being
rich the joyful and happy experiences would act then as counter-examples to
this limiting belief sorting for joyful experiences and connecting with those
joyful experiences right away gives me a sense of being joyful and happy without
having to pay for without having to fear disappointment and without there being a
dependency on anything outside of myself and to top it all off while i dunno
that there are many rich invisible people i believe that it will be much
easier for me to become rich if i'm coming from a place of joy and I was
joyful person independent of whether or not become rich and even if i don't
become rich
well at least some joyful and i would rather be joyful and not rich then rich
and miserable
however i don't think i have to choose between the two that again would be
another limiting belief i believe i can be joyful and rich at the same time you
can break any limiting beliefs you have just by sorting for counter-examples
give it a try if you want to master LP techniques like this so that you can
master your life
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yeah