I'm going to be a year clean and sober in about three weeks time it is and
every day gets better for me. I was taking cocaine and I was very paranoid
psychotic and very isolated at the time.
From day to day I was using, I didn't really have a choice whether to use or
not you know I needed to to take the drugs to live really but my life was a
mess and it had been for some time, you know. I'd experimented with drugs and
alcohol from the age of about 15 and I knew no different. I did it, I did have
good times years ago you know going to parties and stuff but things that had happened
in my life and and the drugs had got a hold of me and it was a very lonely
dangerous time really. I didn't really want to live. I'd had a pacemaker fitted
through cocaine abuse. That was 13 years before I came to the Providence Project. My
health was very bad and I, I believed I was going to die. So I am, I've been quite
a bad person to some of my family and not a lot of people wanted to know me
and I reached out for help and spoke to my mum and she done some research and
found the Providence project. Once I'd asked for help and we booked in at the
Providence project, I was very keen to get there and then I almost ran to the
door. I can remember it like yesterday. We almost I almost ran to the door and then
when I got to the door I was filled with fear and very scared because it wasn't
what I expected and then we got inside and there was a few tears from my mum
and my partner and I knew that I had to push on. I was, I
didn't know much about the um, the treatment or but I was just willing. I
knew, knew that this was a new step and a new beginning, possibly. You know I was very
frightened, if I'm honest. I've just done everything I was told. The staff there
were very good. I mean, I was very emotional at the time. They made you feel
you know, at home as you could be really. Because I was very paranoid at the time
and very, wouldn't really talk to a lot of people. I was very sort of within
myself, I was made to feel settled and straight away, you know, it was good. You
know you shared a house with people and yeah, it was, it was a new beginning, you
know for me. I ended up staying three months. I originally booked for one month
and realised after three weeks that I needed to stay longer. So I spoke with my
mum and my partner and extended to six weeks and then told the Providence
project that I would stay to the six weeks and then realized that I should do
the full three months program. So I ended up doing the three months. A massive,
massive change. You know to put down the drink and drugs was one thing, but to
learn and learn so much about yourself and do so much work on yourself
was massive for me because I didn't really know who I was when I walked into
the Providence. And as time went on, I realised I was achieving something and
moving forward and that there was going to be a life for me
ahead, you know, after three months was massive. I met lots of people there and
you went through good times and you went through bad times and you'll support
each other. It was a bit of a shock going back out into the real world, so to speak
but the Providence have given me the tools that I needed, you know, in the
support. They changed my life you know, it was down to the Providence project that
they gave me my life back, you know, and not only me, my partner, my mum,
my grandparents, all the people that I would, you know. My children, they had their dad
back. My children had their back and my family had their son back, you know?
I'm going to be a year clean and sober in a in about three weeks time it is and
every day gets better for me. It's not easy, it's far from easy, but it's a
hundred percent better than what it was and that's, if, if there are people out
there that are struggling, there, you know I never thought that there was a way out
of the mess that I was in. Continually doing the same thing day in, day out, day
in, day out and and the feeling of inside when you, you know you're doing the
wrong, wrong thing. And the things that you do to get your alcohol and drugs by
being clean and sober and staying clean and sober on a daily basis, it gives
people, you know, especially my, my mum and dad, you know they see a,
they see a different me and it's brilliant. Providence project, I
mean, I couldn't put a figure on how much they mean to me. What they done for me
was amazing. How it worked in now, I couldn't tell you. It is a process and
staff there we're absolutely amazing.
They guide you through your tough times and make you realise, you know, that there
is a there is a way out. The Providence projects, it was not what I thought it
would be, but it really gives you, gives you an insight into yourself and you
work on yourself. The group therapy, the affirmations in the morning, it's amazing.
It really is amazing what they do there. My life changed when I walked into the
Providence projects, definitely. And from that day on, you know, I mean, my one to
one counsellor I look at him as I owe my life to him, you know. I had that life
before about many years that I was doing what I was doing but this is a second
chance for me. The Providence project has given me a life, definitely, definitely.
And I will continue to visit the Providence project. Yeah, I can't thank
them enough, really. I am proud of myself really. It's been a struggle but you know
life is getting better every day.