if a proposal has come in your direction from a person whom you are satisfied with their level
of Dean which means their closeness to Allah their religion they don't have to be you know
so pious but on an acceptable level perhaps they read their Salah they're responsible
in their relationship with Allah and secondly their character and conduct is of an acceptable
level if you have those two and let it happen and you know what the hadith says if you don't
oh this is my favorite part you know why it's my favorite part we say it we repeat it and we
see parents do exactly the opposite and face the same consequences mentioned by the Prophet SAW
solemn and they blame everyone else so the hadith says good character came to you with decent deal
now what does good character mean you need a responsible guy responsible person so you have
responsibility mashallah they are responsible and they have Deen their good character I can talk to
a young man for a few moments and I can have an idea of how he carries himself for example I may
not know the details I could find out you could go deeper and deeper and don't just be satisfied
that the statement uttered by someone you know what yeah this guy is like that no sometimes they
have ulterior motives I've known of many cases of people whom the parent asks one of the relatives a
brother or some sister or someone that you know my daughter is interested in this guy and they
say no he's on drugs but you know what he's not so why did they say that because they were eyeing out
the same child for their daughter subhanAllah wow it's a reality you may not like what I just said
there are some from amongst you who are really really in that situation where people just come
and say nasty things they've said it about me and about you anything they can say this guy's
like this this guy promotes violence he hatred and you know it's not true it's absolutely false
but why do they say it because of some weakness they have you need to help them the problem is
you've just destroyed someone's life by lying you speak the truth if you don't know say look
I really don't know and if you know something you say look I know something it doesn't mean they're
still like that but I do know perhaps some time back this was the issue and the problem but the
difficulties as soon as the child raises an issue at home but you know I'm interested in someone
close it why we're living in a world where we interact with people you probably have the best
child it doesn't mean that because she has come up or he has come up to you with some suggestion
from the school or the workplace that they're already having an affair it doesn't mean that
it doesn't mean that they've started in a Haram way not necessarily you have to take it seriously
you have to communicate you find out and if that person happens to be genuine if that person no
matter who they are where they come from if they happen to be genuine sincere guess what you're
going to have an uphill task trying to say no now because you have aligned his rasul on one side and
you have your ego on the other subhanAllah like I said you might have had your dream but you have
to adjust it as time passes because now something I didn't calculate has just happened how should I
deal with it we're living in the real world you're going to have to deal with it by you're going to
have to deal with it by facing it by understanding it like I said look at the guidelines of the Deen
and try your best to help your child my beloved children definitely take what your parents have
to say seriously and if they don't if they don't listen to you at all try again and keep trying