- This YouTuber, Joshua Weissman,
he think he can make Uncle Roger's fried rice better?
Haiyaa.
- If you know Uncle Roger, you know he's a pretty good
judge of fried rice.
And he just released his own fried rice recipe.
And some might say it's a perfect recipe,
but I know we can make it better.
(swishes)
- Really?
He don't even look like chef.
He look more like guy who own more Bitcoin than friend.
Can he make Uncle Roger Fried Rice better?
Uncle Roger be the judge of that.
(upbeat music)
Niece and Nephew, Uncle Roger Youtooz figurine
is now live.
Put this little Uncle Roger on your desk
and people know you good at making rice.
Go buy it now, link in description.
They even have free international shipping.
That right, they ship this to you for free!
Postman don't even get paid.
Go buy this figurine now, because once this design
sold out, then no more this design.
(Uncle Roger smooches)
(static)
(upbeat music)
- Now let's begin.
- For the record, I actually love Uncle Roger,
I've watched him multiple times,
and I find him very entertaining.
- Oh, thank you, thank you Nephew Joshua.
He even dress up like me Fuiyoh!
But his orange polo not the same
as Uncle Roger orange polo.
I just get from random shop.
His orange polo have that little man on horse logo.
Let's see where he get it from.
Haiyaa, 85 pound for polo!
He think money grow on tree.
So expensive.
Who he think he is.
Uncle Roger can buy that little man on horse
for three pound, and iron on shirt.
And see, he also wearing Rolex, what is this?
Is this egg fried rice video a fashion show?
- Double onioning this one, all right,
I respect that.
Ooh, when he chopped that green onion,
his hand was like this, and he was just like.
(hand bangs)
- Don't worry, Uncle Roger single,
very confident in my right hand.
(Uncle Roger laughs)
(upbeat music)
Sorry children.
(beeps)
- The book, all the by the book.
He sauteed his veg soften, his eggs go in.
- Look at this, the headphone not even plugged in.
He just giving the illusion of listening,
just like me in my previous marriage.
- We have the data that we need,
Uncle Roger, that's a good looking fried rice.
Now, I do think that we can do better.
Before we can even start making your fried rice,
you need, well, rice.
It must be leftover cold rice.
- Correct, correct.
- [Joshua] But that said, let's talk about
how to cook your rice.
Uncle Roger is correct, the holy grail
of rice cookery is a beautiful rice cooker.
(Uncle Roger gasps)
- Is Uncle Roger hallucinating?
This is first white guy with rice cooker!
Uncle Roger impress, because he using same brand
of rice cooker as Uncle Roger.
It's this one, the Zojirushi, baby elephant brand.
If Uncle Roger go to your house
and I see you have baby elephant rice cooker,
I know your rice gonna be good.
But this rice cooker may be too expensive
for some Niece and Nephew.
If Niece and Nephew poor, just buy random $25 rice cooker,
and then get Zojirushi when you have your shit together.
- [Joshua] This is my Zojirushi, and the link
will be in the description.
To make the rice, place a nice medium grain white-
(Uncle Roger gasps)
(dramatic tones)
Colander?
- [Joshua] Rice in a metal sieve, set over a bowl.
Fill it up with water-
- Okay, okay, he just using colander to wash rice,
not to drain rice, like BBC Food.
This one okay.
But look at him, so much equipment just to wash rice.
Uncle Roger, I just wash my rice in rice cooker bowl,
no need extra equipment to wash rice.
Haiyaa!
- [Joshua] Place that in a rice cooker,
and add roughly equal parts of water.
This was two cups of medium grain,
so I used about two cups of filtered water,
but you can always use the finger test.
- Ah, he use finger, use finger, not bad.
- [Joshua] Now close the lid, start the rice cooker,
dance to the song of its people.
(electronic melody plays)
- Uncle Roger rice cooker sing the same song also.
See.
(electronic melody plays)
Before K-pop, this is all Uncle Roger listened to.
Rice cooker pop.
(electronic melody plays)
- [Joshua] For our fried rice sauce,
get a small bowl, add a one-inch knob of galangal
that's been finely grated, one teaspoon of sesame oil,
one tablespoon of Malaysian sambal,
three cloves of finely chopped garlic,
one tablespoon of sweet soy sauce,
and one and half tablespoons of double aged soy sauce.
- This sauce look good, better than
Cowboy Kent's secret sauce.
Ingredient all correct, but why he measuring everything?
Haiyaa!
- [Joshua] One tablespoon of, one teaspoon of,
three cloves of, four and a half tablespoons.
- I think he have to learn from Uncle Roger
favorite chef, Chef Juan.
- When you're a great chef, we don't measure things,
we just throw.
- Nephew Joshua, just throw.
Measure this, measure that, so anal
And he wash rice with that special colander
machine equipment thing.
Haiyaa.
Now you have 25 more thing you have to wash up.
I think this Joshua guy never clean his own kitchen.
He like torturing his cleaner.
- [Joshua] Now we have another important thing
to do before we make our fried rice,
but first let me show you my woks.
Gordon mike have two woks.
(woks clatter)
But I, have three woks.
- Fuiyoh!
Like Uncle Gordon, Nephew Joshua is wok fuck boi also.
Hmm.
I hope he more faithful to his girlfriend
than to his wok.
- [Joshua] Fill it with about three cups of vegetable oil,
and your shallots, and begin constantly
stirring with chopsticks.
And as soon as your shallots begin to reach
a golden brown, immediately remove them from the oil,
and those are your fried shallots.
- Uncle Roger think this crunchy texture
go well with egg fried rice, give it good mouth feel.
- [Joshua] Now, let's finish this bad boy off.
Get your most beautiful, big, juicy wok.
- He talk about wok so sexual.
- [Joshua] Beautiful, big, juicy, juicy.
- I think this Nephew Joshua turn on by his wok,
more than he turn on by his girlfriend.
I wonder how their relationship is.
Nephew Joshua, do you use finger test
on your girlfriend also?
(Uncle Roger laughs)
- [Joshua] Drizzle in three tablespoons of vegetable oil
and begin heating over medium high.
Swirl the oil around your wok,
and keep heating-
- He seasoning the wok, good,
you supposed to.
- [Joshua] Pour your oil out,
from there, I added three and a half tablespoons
of cold-smoked duck fat.
- Cold smoked duck fat?
Fuiyoh!
So fancy.
(k-Pop music) ♪ Fancy ♪
- [Joshua] You literally just take some
rendered out duck fat, place it in a small bowl,
wrap it in plastic wrap, insert a tube
of a cold smoke gun, such as a Breville-
- Nephew Joshua, just flexing on us right now.
First the little man on horse polo,
then the Rolex, then the cold smoke gun.
Haiyaa.
Who this cooking video for?
Billionaire people?
Uncle Roger didn't know I have to own a yacht
to watch this video.
I think he made so much money from all the Bitcoin
he bought.
- [Joshua] Wrap it in plastic wrap,
insert a tube of a cold smoke gun, such as-
- And the way he loading this smoke gun,
I can tell, nephew Joshua smoke weed before.
- [Joshua] Then let it sit for five minutes,
and repeat until it's as smoky as you like it.
Maybe a little overboard, but just trust Papa.
Anyway, heat that over medium-high heat,
add in four cloves of thinly sliced garlic,
two finely diced shallots, two finely diced-
- Shallot good, chili good, correct, correct.
- [Joshua] And two green onions,
which have been finely-
- Oh green onions so soon?
Uncle Roger like green onion as garnish,
but at least he not putting green onion
first thing into pan like Jamie Oliver.
- [Joshua] And stir fry over medium heat
'til all of your vegetables are beautifully softened and-
- Okay, look like the green onion not wilting.
Good, good, this one okay.
- [Joshua] Crack two to three large eggs,
whisk them together 'til homogenized,
then add them to your stir fried vegetables.
Add three and a half to four cups
of already cooked cold rice, then add two teaspoons
of ground white pepper, then two teaspoons of,
you guessed it, MSG.
- Mmm, that is the most beautiful sight,
to see the waterfall of MSG go into the rice.
- [Joshua] MSG.
- Fuiyoh!
So nice.
When Uncle Roger go to therapy,
and they ask me to think of my happy place,
this is it.
But again, Nephew Joshua, don't need measure,
just sprinkle, just sprinkle.
- [Joshua] And two teaspoons of MS-
- What is with this teaspoon, tablespoon,
half cup bullshit?
You making egg fried rice, not developing
vaccine for COVID, no need measure.
- [Joshua] Toss that all together,
turn off the heat, and finally,
grab some strawberry jam and-
- What?
(dramatic music)
- That's a joke, that's a joke all right?
(Uncle Roger sighs)
- Uncle Roger thought he all step correct so far,
but then suddenly join the dark side,
with Jamie Oliver and his chili jam.
(Uncle Roger sighs)
Almost gave Uncle Roger heart attack.
- I'm not gonna make that mistake.
(spoon swishes)
(glass crashes)
- Don't just throw spoon, throw out the whole
bottle of jam also.
- [Joshua] Instead, add your fried rice sauce from earlier.
Stir and toss that together until evenly distributed.
- Good, good.
- [Joshua] Then just pop your fried rice
onto a nice plate, hit it with your incredibly
quippy fried shallots, thinly sliced green onion-
- Ah, green onion as garnish again,
that correct, that good.
So he double green onion, not bad.
- That we taste test this.
(spoon thumps)
Okay, so.
(spoon crashes)
Well we saw how this video went.
- [Man] This looks pretty good.
- Spoon.
- Correct, correct.
In Asia, many people we eat rice with spoon.
Uncle Roger don't know why in Western country,
so many people eat rice with fork.
They use fork to scoop up rice.
Fork for poking, not scooping,
you want to scoop, you use spoon.
Use right tool for right purpose.
Do you also use hair dryer to blow leaf?
Haiyaa.
Niece and Nephew, if rice in bowl, eat with chopstick.
If rice in plate, eat with spoon.
If rice in Jamie Oliver kitchen, throw it out.
(claps)
- Whoo!
The MSG in this really hits.
It hits different.
You got the-
- Of course, you eating salt on crack,
of course it hit.
- [Joshua] This is one of the more deeply-flavored
fried rice that I've had.
The one that Uncle Roger did looks very good,
but it's also very basic in flavor.
This is intense, it's layered,
it's got many, many layers of flavor.
Uncle Roger, I wanna know, how did I do?
- This egg fried rice, so many step.
Got deep frying, got cold smoke duck fat.
Take too long.
If you have hungry kid and you make Joshua
egg fried rice, he starve to death.
Uncle Roger fried rice basic, but you can do in 10 minutes.
So simple.
This fried rice so much more work,
but taste-wise, Uncle Roger have to admit,
it probably taste better.
(children cheer)
It already have good wok hey,
but smoke duck fat give it even more smoky flavor,
and many different texture with the crunch.
It have two type of spring onion, raw and cooked.
Hmm, Uncle Roger approve.
Uncle Roger will call him Uncle Joshua.
But I know he also like to be called Papa.
- [Joshua] Papa no like.
Papa kiss.
Papa's favorite cheat code.
Trust Papa.
- But Poppa Joshua sound a bit sexual.
I just feel bad for his cleaner.
Need to clean up 45 different measuring bowl.
If you good chef, next time just throw
random shit in pan, because if you measure so many thing,
too many thing to clean.
People see your recipe, they don't want to cook it,
not everybody can afford cleaner and Rolex like you.
- [Joshua] You wanna know what else
is full of perfectly cooked rice
and beautiful long-haired men?
B-roll.
(upbeat music)
- Hip hop is best music for egg fried rice.
(upbeat music)
(Uncle Roger laughs)
So stupid.
Don't worry, Uncle Roger single.
Very confident in my right hand.
(phone thumps)
Oh shit. (Uncle Roger laughs)
My phone just fell from chopping.
(beeps)
This is like industrial grade bong.
Are you trying to get duck fat high?
Why you hot boxing the duck fat?
(beeps)
Peanut oil, because Uncle Roger love to kill
all the weak peanut allergy people.
- Little peanut allergy.
Imagine just seeing a peanut on the table
and you're just afraid for your life.
You're like.
(dramatic music)
- Ha ha ha, this Nephew Joshua so funny.
That is how Uncle Roger feel when I see
Auntie Helen in public.
(beeps)
I think this guy turn on by wok
more than he turn on by his girlfriend.
I hope he use finger test on her also.
(Uncle Roger laughs)
So dirty, oh my god.
Sorry Joshua's girlfriend.
(beeps)
This Nephew Joshua so rich, who your target audience?
People who cook on yacht?
First the Ralph Lauren, then the Rolex,
then the smoke gun, is this like
"Keeping Up With The Kardashians"?
(beeps)
You making egg fried rice, not developing
vaccine for COVID, you don't.
(Uncle Roger laughs)
(beeps)
I think it's really cute, the material feels really premium,
and yeah, support the channel, click the link,
go buy one of these.
(jazz music)