-The criminal contempt trial of top Trump ally
Steve Bannon began today
after he refused to cooperate with the committee
investigating the January 6th insurrection.
The committee also revealed
that Trump had personally attempted to contact a witness
in the investigation. Despite all that,
top Republicans are still sticking by Trump
as he signals that he's likely to run again in 2024.
And on top of all that,
West Virginia Senator Joe Manchin once again
torpedoed the Democrat's domestic agenda in Congress.
For more on this, it's time for a new segment we call
"Well, That All Sounds Like a Bummer!"
♪♪
Oh, wait, I forgot. We already have a segment like that.
It's called "A Closer Look."
♪♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
I'm sorry, it's just we have been off for two weeks
and I totally forgot how the show works.
Anyway, things have not exactly been going great
for Joe Biden and the Democrats lately.
Prominent Democrats, both outside
and inside the White House,
have criticized Biden's slow response
to the Supreme Court's decision to overturn Roe v. Wade.
Serial rug puller Joe Manchin once again
doomed any hope for addressing climate change
or passing Biden's domestic agenda.
And several prominent Democrats
have also expressed frustration at Biden
for traveling to Saudi Arabia,
where he fist-bumped a murderous tyrant.
Now, I know you did that
because you didn't want to be seen shaking his hand,
but a fist bump is way worse.
At least with a handshake,
you might think, "Well, it's two world leaders,
like it or not, so that's standard enough."
But a fist bump makes it look like you just hit a homerun
in the company softball game.
"Hey, nice one, MBS.
I think this is the year we're finally going to beat
Dave's Heating and Cooling."
Once again, as we have said before,
this is a good reminder that it would be great
if we could generate our own renewable energy
here at home through wind and solar
so we don't have to be beholden
to these autocratic petrostates.
In fact, I would love to never have to say
the words autocratic petrostates ever again.
Mainly because Wally thinks it's too long to put on cue cards.
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
Oh, they love Wally.
[ Laughter ]
Again, the Democrats are in a funk right now,
which is bad because whatever their flaws,
they are, at the moment,
the only thing standing between America
and a monstrous gang of radical seditionist
and potato-shaped goblins in the Republican Party
who are actively attempting to dismantle democracy
and impose an authoritarian theocracy.
Really? You're making me do autocratic petrostates
and authoritarian theocracy in the same "Closer Look"?
What do you think I was doing during my two weeks off,
vocal warm-ups?
An authoritarian theocracy
where abortion and same-sex marriage are banned,
guns are everywhere, and the only books kids
are allowed to read in school classrooms
are illustrated copies of "The Art of the Deal."
The drawings were done by Trump himself,
which is why they're all in Sharpie.
Oh, and...
[ Laughter ]
...the official drink of the US government
from now on will be a Diet Dr Pepper,
thanks to seditionist and coup plotter Sidney Powell,
who was chugging them during a deposition
she gave to the January 6th Committee that aired last week.
-Among the people you saw there was attorney Sidney Powell.
She was the one swigging the Dr Pepper.
Actually, I think it was Diet Dr Pepper.
-In the short period of time that you had with the President,
did he seem receptive
to the presentation that you were making?
-She -- She slugged that soda like she's playing quarters
at a Christian sleepaway camp.
I will say it's a fitting drink for her
because Diet Dr Pepper is the soda you have
when there's nothing else left in the vending machine,
just like Sidney Powell is your attorney
when there's nothing else left at the lawyer store.
Second, kudos to the editor who put that clip together
and let it trail off long enough for her
to take a giant gulp of Diet Dr Pepper
after she finished her sentence.
Watching her chug a can of Diet Dr Pepper
was another reminder that she shouldn't be trusted.
It's like if your doctor recommended surgery,
then put an entire bag of Big League Chew in his mouth,
you'd get a second opinion.
I'd love to see the extended cut of that clip.
5 hours later, it's probably just her in the same shot
babbling about Hugo Chavez smuggling in fake ballots
surrounded by a mountain of empty Diet Dr Pepper cans.
[ Laughter ]
Also, side note here,
but when she was doing press conferences
alleging voter fraud and publicly
representing the President, Sidney Powell looked like this.
When did she turn into Grandma Saracen?
[ Laughter ]
Again, as a reminder,
we're a little rusty from a two-week hiatus,
which is probably why we decided earlier today
Matt Saracen's grandmother from "Friday Night Light,"
it's definitely a reference everyone will get.
[ Laughter ]
Just to give you a sense of how long ago that show was on,
Tami Taylor is now a wealthy CFO who takes fancy vacations.
Lyla Garrity is a mysterious young mom in East Hyland,
and Landry Clarke is married to Kirsten Dunst.
Way to go, Landry.
You were always my favorite.
Where were we? Somewhere fun, I hope.
Ugh, Sidney Powell.
Also, when did Diet Dr Pepper
become the preferred beverage of unhinged pro-coup Republicans?
A couple of months ago, Sarah Palin,
who is now running for Congress in Alaska,
was talking about how she'd react to the media
on Capitol Hill if she wins, and she said this...
-I anticipate that when I walk down that hall to get
my Diet Dr Pepper, sure,
the jackals are gonna be there doing their jackal-ing.
-Man, terrible branding for Diet Dr Pepper.
[ Laughter ]
This is the worst thing to happen to a soft drink
since that photo emerged of Mussolini drinking a Fanta.
[ Laughter ]
"Bad news, yeah.
Sidney Powell was drinking a Dr Pepper during the hearings."
"Well, could you tell it was a Dr Pepper?"
"Yeah, she had the label out."
So the only thing stopping these nut jobs
from retaking power is the Democratic Party,
which at the moment is not a comforting thought.
Virtually their entire domestic agenda in Congress
has been repeatedly stymied by Joe Manchin,
who just doomed a compromise of a compromise of a bill
he originally said he would support last year,
even though he is the one who came up
with the latest version of the compromise in the first place.
And his fellow Democrats are justifiably furious at him.
As Senator Bernie Sanders made clear on Sunday,
without even letting the anchor finish the question.
-I want to turn to Congress
and the -- and the agenda there.
Senator Joe Manchin, of course,
abruptly pulled the plug this week on the Democ--
-No, Martha, he didn't abruptly --
Martha -- -Okay, okay, let --
He abruptly on Friday. -He didn't abruptly do anything.
-He was negotiating for a while.
-He sabotaged the President's agenda.
No.
Look, if you check the record, six months ago,
I made it clear that you have people like Manchin,
Sinema to a lesser degree,
who are intentionally sabotaging the President's agenda,
what the American people want,
what a majority of us in the Democratic caucus want.
Nothing new about this.
-But Manchin says his main goal
is to do what's good for West Virginia,
and he's worried about inflation.
Listen to what he told me. -Really, really.
[ Laughter ]
-I love how impatient Bernie is.
I'll bet he can't even sit through the previews
at the movie theater. "What the hell is this?
I came to see the Minions perform their delightful antics.
I have no -- I have no interest
in what's coming out next summer.
If I don't hear some giggling and nonsense words right now,
I'm walking out."
But Bernie is right to be pissed.
Who's not pissed? The fate about the planet
and American democracy rest in the balance.
And one fossil fuel millionaire is standing in the way.
Democrats in Congress are trying to get something, anything done.
Meanwhile, Republicans are fully embracing the authoritarianism
that fueled Trump's rise
and led to the coup attempt on January 6th,
even as the committee investigating the coup
accumulates more and more evidence
that Trump and his cronies committed various crimes.
Trump gave his strongest signal yet last week
that he's going to run again in 2024,
and Republicans are still sticking by him.
On Sunday, the governor of Arizona,
who has been repeatedly attacked by Trump and once said
Trump bears some responsibility for January 6th,
still refused
to rule out backing Trump if he runs in 2024.
-You told me last year on this show
that Donald Trump bears some responsibility for January 6th.
Do you believe his actions on January 6th or inaction
should disqualify him
from holding public office in the future?
-Dana, I condemned January 6th,
and I think everyone that broke the law
should be held accountable.
In our system,
this is up to the voters on what happens next?
-If Donald Trump runs in 2024, will you support him?
-I think we will have options in the 2024 primary race.
I am hopeful we will have options,
and I want somebody who can win that general election
because I believe with success in 2022,
the general election
is the Republican Party's for the taking.
-"I think we will have options.
I am hopeful we will have options.
But if not, I will get down on all fours
and crawl like a dog to beg for Trump's forgiveness
because I am a spineless coward."
Should we maybe get Bernie back out here
to yell about the Minions again? That was fun.
"We need to tax Gru
and make him pay his fair share.
The Minions need to unionize."
[ Laughter ]
There is nothing Donald Trump could do
to lose the support of these craven dopes.
In fact, just today, one of Trump's closest allies
and a key figure in the attempted coup,
Steve Bannon, who was caught on tape
admitting just days before the election
that Trump would declare victory even if he lost,
went on trial for contempt of Congress.
Jury selection for Bannon's trial began today.
-Jury selection will begin in the trial
of Trump confidant Steve Bannon.
He is facing criminal contempt charges
for refusing to obey a subpoena from the January 6th committee.
-Now, this is not going to be your typical jury selection
because most or all of the jurors
will have heard of Steve Bannon or the committee.
But the goal is not to get jurors
who've never heard of anybody.
The goal is to get jurors who can be fair and impartial.
-I'm sorry, but even if you've never heard of Steve Bannon,
how could you look at this guy and be fair and impartial?
Even if I had no idea who he was,
I'd take one look at him
and assume at best he'd been arrested
for stealing a seaplane in the Florida Keys
or maybe illegally selling soft drinks
on the sidewalk in Times Square.
"Hey, psst.
Want a taste of the Pep?
Want a little -- a little pep in your step
Don't go and pay those bodega prices.
Bet a little pep in your step."
[ Laughter ]
Also, if you're thinking to yourself,
"Wait, wasn't Steve Bannon
already arrested for a different crime?"
The answer is yes, he was charged
with defrauding Trump supporters
as part of a scam fundraiser to build the wall
and was arrested on a fugitive Chinese billionaire's yacht
by Postal Service cops before Trump pardoned him.
Yet another series of words that is both insane
and will be mostly forgotten to history
because too much other crazy [bleep] has happened.
That would be like reading a history book
and finding out that for a little while
in his early 20s,
Abraham Lincoln switched from stovepipe hats to fedoras.
"They call me Abe, and if I'm being honest,
I love the Squirrel Nut Zippers."
[ Laughter ]
You know, I burned Sal earlier
because he referenced "Friday Night Lights,"
and I was -- said that was really dated.
And then I put in the Squirrel Nut Zipper joke.
[ Laughter ]
So I guess I'm the one who got burned.
[ Laughter ]
Bannon's trial and the revelations about his role
in the attempted coup are happening
as the January 6th hearings build toward
what could very well be a shocking conclusion,
even after all the shocking revelations we've already seen
about Trump's obvious criminal liability.
On top of everything else,
last week, the committee also announced
that Trump had personally attempted to tamper
with one of the witnesses.
-After our last hearing,
President Trump tried to call a witness in our investigation.
A witness you have not yet seen in these hearings.
That person declined to answer or respond
to President Trump's call
and instead alerted their lawyer to the call.
Their lawyer alerted us.
And this committee has supplied that information
to the Department of Justice.
Let me say one more time
we will take any effort
to influence witness testimony very seriously.
-I'll admit, before they started this whole thing,
I was afraid these hearings would be boring,
and instead, we've got Liz Cheney doing teases
like she's Robert Stack in "Unsolved Mysteries."
"The President of the United States
places a phone call, but for what purpose?
The answer to that question and more next week
on the January 6th hearings."
I do enjoy imagining Trump
trying to get through to a witness
because you know he's dumb enough
to leave a voicemail message.
And you know it was probably like an hour long.
"Hey, Mark, this is your friend Donald.
Just calling to remind you how much I appreciate
your loyalty. I like you, Mark.
I like you a lot more than those nasty windmills.
Windmills, they gave you cancer and they kill your birds.
Birds, we love the birds. We love birds, don't we, Mark?
The birds, they soar through the skies majestically.
It's truly a miracle of nature.
I would love to be free as a bird,
but instead I remain shackled here on earth,
entangled.
I'm en-- Mark, I'm entangled, Mark.
Mark, I'm entangled in this web of deceit
I've weaved for myself. Or is it woven?
I never know if it's weaved or it's woven, Mark.
I say weaved, and I think it's woven.
I say woven. I think it's weaved.
I'm always going to stumble on grammar, Mark. You know that.
But the point is, Mark, oh, to be a bird.
I --" -Mailbox full. Goodbye.
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
-The Republican Party
has fully descended into authoritarianism
and they're on the precipice of retaking power
and dismantling our democracy, which is why Democrats
must do everything possible to stop them,
not to mention addressing a bunch of other urgent issues
like climate change for many reasons.
We need to move past fossil fuels.
Hell, maybe we can make cars that run on...
-Diet Dr Pepper.
[ Theme music plays ]
We're all --
[ Cheers and applause ]
We're all -- We're all a little rusty.
That -- You're not supposed to hear that song yet.
Just pretend like you didn't hear the end of this.
[ Laughter ]
This has been "A Closer Look."
[ Theme music plays ]
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