- "Babe, doctor's orders, triAnal."
(Dr. Wagner laughs)
Get ready to laugh,
and hopefully you'll learn a little,
because today we are breaking down
and reacting to what I am told are medical memes from Ohio.
It should be interesting.
All right, let's dive right in.
"Babe, doctor's orders, triAnal."
(Dr. Wagner laughs)
It's probably pronounced "treeanol."
This medication is like the exact same medication
as Fiorinal,
which we use as like a headache medication for pain.
Don't believe your significant other
when they say this is the doctor's orders.
This is really funny though.
"When you don't know what one of the vital organs are.
"What the hell is the big blobby thing?"
It's a cool image.
You can see the cerebellum in the back,
and you see the cerebral cortex.
Most docs, we don't know how to read MRIs, actually,
and that's why it's left to the radiologist.
Vital organs, what are they?
Your heart, your lungs, your brain,
your kidneys, your liver.
"Young child, Play-Doh.
"Is this food?"
Yes! Oh my gosh.
I believe it's labeled as non-toxic.
A lot of times in the emergency department,
we don't get kids coming in too often
with just randomly swallowing things
or putting them in their mouth,
but usually it's ears and nose
where we actually see things get lodged in
that we have to, you know,
figure out how to get out of there.
"You can't have a mental illness
"if the psychiatrist doesn't accept your insurance."
Oh my gosh.
A lot of hospitals as well as doctors that have offices,
they will take patients without insurance,
but they will come up with a financial plan
to figure it out.
If you're billing an insurance company,
an insurance company doesn't pay that bill
the way that it actually is written,
versus if you send that bill to an individual
without the understanding that
it's an individual that's paying it,
then yeah, it can be astronomically high.
If you have a conversation with
either the billing department, the billing company,
there are options that they can do for you.
"ADHD is a superpower."
ADHD is Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder
that is the most common neurodevelopmental disorder
of childhood,
and it has to do with trouble paying attention,
impulse behavior issues.
Some people can't focus until they get medication.
They can focus.
"The deceased patient passed away while masturbating.
"He died having a stroke."
Oh my gosh.
Little play on words.
Okay, I get it.
Not cool.
Could you have a stroke if you were masturbating,
and then die?
Yeah, you could,
if your blood pressure goes up,
increasing weird blood flow to the brain,
and too much physical exertion.
I see more common in the emergency department
where people either stroke or have a heart attack
during sexual intercourse,
where it's more of a full body activity actually.
"My left eye, my right eye."
It happens all the time.
I will ask you a million questions
if somebody comes in with eye problems
related to do you have two images?
Do you have double vision?
Do you have blurry vision?
And there could be an infection over the eye.
Sometimes this also could be like a cataract,
where the cornea is hazy and it needs to be removed.
If you start having blurriness
or any visual changes to your eye,
get to the hospital immediately.
Could be a stroke, could be a brain bleed,
could be a tumor.
"I'm having 99.3 kids. Oh my god."
It's a thermometer,
not a pregnancy test.
You're not having 99.3 children.
Our bodies are at 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit.
It does change by activity.
It changes by actual sex as well.
Typically, women are a little bit cooler.
Before I go into the next meme,
make sure you subscribe.
"When my grandpa with Alzheimer's forgets he's dead."
Alzheimer's is a type of dementia.
You don't recognize the people in your life around you.
Sometimes you are worried that they're going to hurt you,
and these are the people that care about you,
and unfortunately the brain almost resorts back
to being very childlike.
"People in 1971:
"I bet that in 50 years there will be flying cars!"
I'm still waiting for the flying cars.
"People now:
"Eat glitter pills to make their poop sparkle."
Oh my gosh.
Stupid invention.
Why put something in your body
that has no benefit whatsoever?
People come to the emergency department all the time
with poop related problems,
and I ask them what does it look like?
And they always just say, "I don't know.
"I didn't look at my poop."
- I don't know.
- How am I supposed to help you
if you don't look at your poop?
And now me, the nice guy over here,
has to potentially do a rectal exam.
I don't wanna do that if I don't have to.
Take a photo of the poop, let me know.
"Doctor's whole career.
"Apples."
Oh! That's kind of funny.
It takes so long to become a doctor.
All the schooling, education, continuing medical education,
and then apples, right?
"Apple a day keeps the doctor away."
Apples do have their benefit.
They're healthy for you,
they help your teeth,
they help you stay awake.
Continue to eat your apples, please.
"You can't fix stupid, but you can sedate it."
(Dr. Wagner laughs)
We do sedate people in the emergency department
for, say, we need to intubate you,
we want you sedated.
There are other times we will sedate an individual
when they're a danger to themselves or other people.
There are effects that drugs may have on somebody
that are unknown until that medication is in that system.
We have arsenals at the hospital of different medications,
pharmacists, and all the staff there to help
prevent any negative outcome.
"Nobody.
"Doctors turning a page."
Well, we used to have newspapers and stuff,
people would like lick their fingers
so they can get the paper to then turn the page.
I'm not sticking any of my fingers in my mouth
while I'm working,
even though I wash my hands in and coming out of a room
every single time, and put on gloves.
"The previous doctors, the doctor,
"Get ready, everybody.
"He's about to do something stupid."
Maybe this doctor's trying to do something different
compared to the previous doctors
that might have tried everything already,
and everybody's just watching.
They're only watching because
one, they wanna see if what they're actually doing
is going to probably work,
or is it gonna be a disaster?
If it is a disaster,
you have all this other support staff there.
"ER doctors: see the patient, history,
"physical exam, CT scan."
I think all of that is important.
90% of understanding what we need to do
is based on the story and the history.
I will also say if we do the physical exam,
the history, and we come up with a diagnosis,
you know how many people ask,
"Why are you not doing a CT scan?"
If this is something you want,
understanding the expense, radiation exposure risk,
we will have a discussion and talk about it
and likely do it.
"Looking at myself in the mirror
"after taking off the face mask."
(Dr. Wagner laughs)
It happens.
For a little while when the pandemic of Covid first hit,
I was always having like massive red marks to my nose.
People were getting rashes on their face,
they were having a lot of dermatitis,
inflammation of their skin.
But you're in an area where there's a lot of germs,
there's a lot of disease.
Why wouldn't we wear a mask?
"Delete my browser history."
(Dr. Wagner laughs)
So this is like a medical alert bracelet
that typically you put allergies on.
Sometimes you can have like medical diagnoses on here
as well, which would be helpful,
or a phone number.
If there's something you don't want people to know or see,
don't look it up.
Does anybody out there use a medical alert bracelet?
Let me know in the comments.
"BMI equals bad medical information."
Oh my gosh.
BMI stands for body mass index,
which is a really crude way to basically measure
if you're like obese or not.
Has to do with basically height and weight.
We don't use it so literally.
We use it just as a measure.
"My foreskin to the American doctor.
"You didn't have to cut me off."
That's like a song.
Oh my gosh, and this is the singer.
Foreskin is the skin of the penis
that's covering the head of the penis,
the glans of the penis.
A lot of times it is cut off for multiple different reasons.
Cleanliness factor, religious reasons,
a lot of times in the United States,
cut it off when the kid's still in the hospital as a newborn
versus you can do it at any time in somebody's life.
Memes from Ohio.
I mean these are memes from anywhere to me.
I've been to Ohio.
I've played many soccer games in Ohio,
and it's a great state.
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Thank you so much for watching and stay healthy, my friends.