Hi guys, i'm Eileen. Today i want to talk about why the fear of missing out or FOMO might be
making all of us quite unhappy, especially in the context of shopping and spending. First of all,
the fear of missing out can make us quite unhappy because we are essentially comparing ourselves
to other people. There's a saying that goes, comparison is the thief of joy, which i can't
agree more. When we have FOMO, we are basically assuming other people have it better than us.
So for example, it might be they have a much bigger house, they have more Chanel handbags,
their life is much more perfect, and so on. So instead of celebrating our blessings,
our attention is now diverted to everything that's missing in our lives.
And that is truly the recipe for an unhappy and unfulfilling life. With social media especially,
FOMO is now happening on a much bigger scale. Before the internet, keeping up with the Joneses
was about comparing ourselves to our friends, neighbors, or people in our social circle,
but now the Joneses could be anyone on social media. Instagram for example,
is a highly curated platform. This is a place where everything and everyone looks so perfect
,and that sometimes gives us the impression that everyone else is doing much better than us and
we start comparing ourselves to these amazing people who always seem to have it together. Now
we all know social media is a major platform for marketing nowadays. And one of the reasons
social media marketing has been so successful is because we human beings have the desire to be
able to relate to the people we like or look up to, such as our favorite bloggers or celebrities.
This is why if a celebrity features something, that item will sell out very quickly.
For example, if kim kardashian makes an appearance in a designer dress, the next minute fast fashion
brands will come out with a dupe version which will sell out in no time. This is because
marketing experts are trained to target our fear of missing out, so they are projecting the idea
that everyone can get the looks of a celebrity, as long as we act right now. And to be honest, that
doesn't just apply to fast fashion pieces. I feel like many times when an item has been featured by
a style icon, it will sell out very quickly, including the very expensive designer pieces.
And when more and more people start wearing the same pieces, it will then turn into a trend,
which will then go on to create more fear of missing out. Even if you're someone who is not
on social media a lot, you've probably experienced FOMO in one way or another. For example, it might
be rushing to buy something just because it's on sale and then regretting your decision very soon
after. Or you might say yes to an Hermes Birkin 30, even when you really just want the size 25,
because you know a Birkin offer is hard to come by. Sometimes FOMO can also be buying a
very expensive Chanel handbag in a limited edition color, even when you're not crazy about the color.
All these examples have one thing in common, which is, you didn't really like the item but
you didn't want to miss out either. Personally i've bought a lot of things because of FOMO.
I wasn't completely aware of it at that point but FOMO did influence me to make a lot of irrational
purchases. For example about nine to ten years ago, the Celine luggage bags were really popular.
Every model or blogger seemed to have one, so these bags were sold out everywhere. So one day
i was browsing in a shopping centre and i came across a Celine nano bag in a bright red color,
so i asked the sale associate to see if she had one in black, and she said something along the
line of, black is really hard to come by and i don't think we'll ever have one available.
You are lucky we even have one in red. And that immediately activated my FOMO mode
and all of a sudden i just really wanted to buy the bag, even though i knew red was never really
a color i would ever wear. Sadly that's one of the many FOMO purchases i made in the past. The thing
is though, when you cave into your FOMO and buy something, you might feel good for a short while,
but the feeling of frustration tends to follow very soon after. This is especially true when
you kind of come to your senses and realize you've bought something you don't really like that much
but now you're kind of stuck with it. Instead of addressing my FOMO issues though,
many times i would just move on to searching for the next thing to buy very quickly. It's like
i was forever in this perpetual cycle of FOMO, buying, and frustrations. After embracing luxury
minimalism, i've not been experiencing FOMO as much. I wouldn't say it's completely gone because
i'm a human being after all, but it certainly isn't controlling me as much anymore. So i just
want to share some tips with you guys because they have worked really well for me. So first of all,
consider reducing the time you spend on social media. Even though i'm on social media myself,
consuming too much of it sometimes gives me a bit of anxiety. For example if i spend
hours scrolling on instagram i tend to feel a bit sluggish and unmotivated, which is why
i'm not very active on it. I also don't use facebook twitter or pinterest because for me
having less social media platforms is the quickest way to cut down on my screen time.
Another thing i would suggest is, be mindful with the kind of content you expose yourself to. For
example if you tend to feel a bit negative or you might feel like you're not good enough after
watching a certain blogger or certain videos, then it's time to think about curating the accounts you
follow. I think it's also really important to look at everything you see on social media with a pinch
of salt because social media is not real world. Most people have their own struggles but they just
choose not to share them with the world. And when we start seeing these amazing and beautiful people
as real human beings with their own fair share of problems, it would take away a bit of the FOMO.
Now most of us have to rely on the internet for our work, so i think it's a bit unrealistic to
avoid being online altogether. Having said that, we all have the option to slow down
and be more mindful with how we browse online and consume digitally. I've recently started using
the PAUSE chrome extension to remind myself gently to be more mindful when i'm online,
seeing i do work on my desktop a lot. This service is completely free and so easy to use. So when you
go to a shopping website, an overlay will appear and stay for 30 seconds. This allows you to slow
down and think about if you really want to be shopping right now, or have you just clicked
on an ad, or maybe you've just watched an unboxing video on youtube. After waiting 30 seconds,
you can then proceed to shopping, knowing you've made a conscious decision to do so.
Now let's say your husband's birthday is coming up and you know you want to look for a gift,
you can disable PAUSE by clicking the icon and you're now free to browse on any shopping websites
for 30 minutes. In fact you can use this chrome extension for any websites. So let's say you're
quite prone to browsing on youtube or facebook quite mindlessly, you can go ahead and turn on
posts on these websites as well. Just by slowing down a bit, you're basically allowing yourself the
mental space to reflect and refocus. And when you practice a bit of mindfulness, you'll get
less distracted with all the shiny objects and the fear of missing out will start to lose its power
little by little. Next i want to touch on how by letting go of the fear of missing out,
my life has changed so much for the better. First of all, i feel lighter because i no longer carry
the burden of wanting to keep up with the world. I feel more ready to accept myself as a person
more graciously. Even though i still work really hard and i value achievements, i'm now doing it
in the context of wanting to become a better me, rather than trying to become someone else. Another
positive change i've noticed about myself is, i'm generally a lot less distracted.
Now we all only have so much time and energy in any given day, so i feel like when i'm
not engrossed in admiring someone else's life or possessions, i become more present in my own life.
I'm more available to my family, i spend more time reading, i appreciate my blessings more, and i'm
genuinely a lot happier. Now some people might say shopping and spending shouldn't be so complicated,
and if you like something, why overthink? Just buy it if it makes you happy. Well at least for me,
that's a massive difference between an intentional purchase and buying something
just to satisfy my fear of missing out. And as someone who's been on both ends of the spectrum,
i can honestly say i'm a lot happier when i make intentional choices. So if you feel like
you're experiencing FOMO and it's making you quite unhappy. Don't be afraid to recognize the feeling
and then work on taking control of it little by little. For me, minimalism has completely shifted
my mindset. It taught me to be more appreciative of my own blessings rather than fixating on my
fear of missing out. So i really hope more people will find the joy of wanting less, and if you know
someone who might benefit from this video or my content please share with them. So that's
it from me, thank you so much for watching and i will see you in my next one. Have a nice day.