Many well-known minimalists have talked about having no goals,
preferring instead to just have a direction in which to travel.
There's definitely merit to this, especially if you're truly content
with your current circumstances, but what if you're not there yet?
What if you're trying to dig your way out of debt, or land a new job?
What if you're paralyzed by all of the options for directions to travel,
and you don't even know where to start?
Well, buddy, I'm here for ya!
First things first, you've gotta figure out what makes you light up.
I'm a dreamer, so this has never been an issue for me,
but I know many people aren't sure what their calling, their purpose, or their passion might be.
One exercise that could help you to determine this is to
journal and organize your thoughts down on paper.
Try thinking about what makes you sad, mad, and uncomfortable with the world.
Write a column of things that cause you and your loved ones pain and anxiety.
Don't resort to what other people care about - this
list should be focused on what YOU care about,
no matter how seemingly mundane it might be to the rest of the world.
This column will point to what Simon Sinek refers to as a "why" in his book "Start with Why."
Focusing your life on fighting these issues and solving these problems will
generate a feeling of purpose, a reason to get up in the morning.
This is where passion comes from - it's a deep belief that things could be better.
Next, write another column of things that you currently
already enjoy doing regularly, even if they're super simple.
It could say gardening, walking dogs, watching movies with your friends, etc.
After you finish this column, now it's time to get creative -
how may you use the things you enjoy doing to tackle
the problems that you've pinpointed on the left?
Is there something you enjoy making, or teaching, or studying and learning about that could in some
way, even a small way, alleviate some of the problems that you've identified?
These don't need to be grand ideas that could save the world - especially if
you have other responsibilities and obligations on your plate right now.
For example, if you're really worried about the health of coral reefs, and you enjoy watching
movies and listening to podcasts in your free time, perhaps the idea for now could just be
to watch every movie and listen to every podcast about the ocean that you can get your hands on.
Just starting here and doing this for now, spending your time getting knowledgeable on this,
could at some point in the future further propel you to pursue more
direct solutions to helping the coral reefs.
But also feel free to visualize a grand
world-changing future and don't judge yourself for your dreams.
Just make sure that there's a reason, a "why" behind what you want.
I'd suggest reading Simon Sinek's book if you're stuck here.
Alright, now once you've identified the passion that you have,
you'll really need to start thinking about what the final outcome looks like.
How would you feel in that ideal world?
But once you have this picture figured out, do not keep playing the movie over and over in your head.
DO NOT INDULGE!
Sorry for the drama, but this is a very important step -
thinking through the ideal scenario is a great tool to help you find direction,
but manifesting things by simply thinking about them? That doesn't work.
A professor of psychology at New York University and
the University of Hamburg named Gabriella Oettingen
set out to research positive thinking and its wonderful effects on achieving one's dreams,
but she soon realized that a lack of positive thinking is
not our problem - it's more complex than that.
In her book "Rethinking Positive Thinking," she explores the completely
counterintuitive results of her team's studies.
Summed up, the more focused you are on your dream, the less likely you are to achieve it.
Why is this, you ask?
Well, they found out that people who repetitively fantasize actually end up
giving their brains and bodies the feeling of having already achieved the fantasy.
These visualizations relax us rather than energize or motivate us.
Our brains are powerful, and "ideal world visualizations" are so effective that the
daydreams themselves were impeding the realization of that ideal.
Think about it - if fantasizing was enough, if all we had to do was to visualize really hard,
we would all of our dreams coming true left and right.
We'd all be healthy, and happy, and hot, and rich, and I'm sorry - we don't live in a Disney movie.
Getting caught up in the seduction of idealist
fantasies does nothing to actually move you to achieving those ideals.
Does this mean that you should stop dreaming and only focus on
negative visualization of the worst case scenario?
No - fantasies and daydreams are a tool to figure out where you want to do.
They provide direction.
But you also need to add a dose of reality in there -
this is referred to as "mental contrasting."
You need to become aware of the obstacles that stand in the way
of you achieving your goal. What's stopping you?
This obstacle could even be something physical,
such as in the visualizations that Michael Phelps did to prepare for the Olympics.
In one of his visualizations, he focused on what he would do if his goggles filled up with water,
and good thing he thought through this beforehand,
because that's exactly what happened during the race.
He definitely did take time to visualize the ideal situation of winning with a
record-breaking time, but that's not the only thing that he thought about.
Because of his mix of both positive and obstacle-laden visualizations,
he was prepared and was able to act accordingly.
So at this point, you should have defined your passion,
dreamed out the ideal outcome, and started mentally contrasting this ideal with reality.
And now, you need to identify the obstacles specifically that are in your way.
Tim Ferriss did a really good Ted Talk on this where he talks about "fear setting."
I'd encourage you to watch this talk to help you pre-meditate
on bad outcomes - I'll link it in the description.
This will help reduce some of the anxieties that you might have when venturing off to war with your
obstacle, as you'll address ways to prevent and decrease the likelihood of catastrophes.
And in the event that your worst fears actually do come into fruition,
you'll be fully prepared with what to do then.
He also talks about the cost of inaction - what would you lose if
you did nothing and just go about your life as-is?
And he balances this with a possibility of semi-success - even if you don't fully
100% materialize your perfectly ideal situation, what might be the benefits of
reaching a part-success, and what might you learn from just attempting itself?
At this point, if you're not sold, I'd like to recommend another book:
"The Obstacle is the Way," by Ryan Holiday.
You need to be realistic when looking at your obstacles, too - you need to make sure that
not only are your passions tied to your emotions
so there's a solid core reason behind what you're aiming for,
but your obstacles must need to actually be surmountable.
It can help to look at people who have achieved the thing that you're
striving for, as this can provide a framework or a path to emulate.
But don't be discouraged if you don't have a role model - just because it
hasn't been done doesn't mean that you can't be the first to do it.
If the obstacle does seem surmountable,
but your best-outcome visualization is too aggressive, then this needs to be adjusted.
Maybe you thought at the beginning that the ideal would be to accomplish something in six months -
but when you think about it realistically,
with all the obstacles at play, it's more likely to take you three years.
Think of this like lifting weights - you don't go into the gym as a beginner
and immediately start with the heaviest weight and
then get all discouraged because you can't lift it.
You need to work up to it over time, as you get more comfortable and build up your muscles.
Come to think of it, this next step, which requires you to come up with a plan
in order to overcome the obstacle, could use a couple of book recommendations, too.
For creating a plan of attack and really streamlining some
of the things that you have to deal with in life,
I recommend "The Power of Habit' by Charles Duhigg and "Atomic Habits" by James Clear.
But habits are not going to be the only thing that helps you.
In its essence, this step requires you to focus on eliminating the obstacle
by cultivating a daily practice.
And THIS is
THE GOAL.
[♫ heavy metal music ♫]
Yes, yes, we've finally reached it - we've reached it, we've reached THE GOAL.
Building strong habits where you can it is helpful,
but you will also need to institute a conscious "daily practice," as the other James recommends.
The difference between a "daily practice" and habits is that habits,
if they're formed properly and they are truly habits,
are not something you have to think about - they're automatic.
But a "daily practice" is a conscious choice.
You have to spend energy to get that thing done. Conscious choices require energy.
And for this, I actually have another book recommendation for this step:
"Peak," by Anders Ericsson.
You do need to know what you want, but that's not the most important thing.
That's not the place to put your energy and focus.
Dreaming about the ideal is not gonna get you any closer to actually attaining it.
Your passion is the purpose, that helps to establish the direction,
which helps you to carve a path, and identify obstacles along that path.
Fix these obstacles by focusing your energy on completing a daily practice,
and the ideal life that you've dreamed of will start to become a reality.
You need to know what you want, but that's not the most important thing.
That is not the goal.
It's not the place to focus or to put your energy.
Dreaming about the ideal alone will get you no closer to attaining it.
The GOAL is to address obstacles, though consistent action,
daily practice, over time - focus on THAT.
It's simple, but it's not easy.
'til next time!
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