Sorry, Ralphie, the bake-off rejected your recipe.
I think your grilled crayon sandwich was delicious.
You only had a pretend bite.
No, I'm eating it. Look.
Mmm. Uhm...
( grunts )
Can you taste the thumb tacks?
Ah, crap.
Andrew:
Welcome back to "Binging With Babish,"
and also, Rhett and Link.
Today I'm in the "Good Mythical Morning" kitchen
and these guys are gonna give me a hand or an arm--
specifically two arms.
Yeah, this is not gonna go well.
Today, we're gonna be cooking with an irresponsible amount
of children's art supplies,
and testing the limits of the term "non-toxic"
with Ralph Wiggum's grilled crayon sandwich
from season 15 of "The Simpsons."
Just like any grilled sandwich, our crayon version
is going to be built from the bread up.
What a big bread.
Andrew: Care-- careful now.
- Rhett: Give me the knife? - Link: There you go.
- Andrew: Oh. - Link: Here's the knife.
Andrew:
that's really going to stand up to all this melted wax.
It looks like Ralph uses a store-bought
white pullman loaf in the episode.
- Link: I'm trying to hold it tight. - Andrew: Use your strength.
Oh, God. Watch your fingers.
But he was also laughed out of the oven fresh bake-off,
and I think we can do better.
We're going to spread a good amount
of quality mayonnaise on each side of the bread.
The biggest problem with eating melted crayons
is that all the wax gets stuck in the back of your throat.
Rhett: Okay, that's excessive.
So the mayo is just there to help everything go down smoothly.
Link: When in doubt, spread it out.
Then we're gonna hit the bread with a little bit of Dijon,
use some really excellent horseradish-y stuff.
Crayons have a relatively neutral flavor
and they tend to coat the palette
in a similar way to fat.
So any acid or spice you add
is really going to carry the dish.
You guys are working so good together.
Link: Oh, yeah. You don't want too much mustard.
Rhett: Yeah, a little mustard goes a long way.
Link: You don't want it to overpower the mayo.
Crayons.
Now, and I can't stress to you
how uncharted this territory is to me,
we need to pick out a few good ripe crayons.
Color isn't really important, just follow your heart
and you use whatever combo speaks to you in the moment.
Work as a team.
We're going to follow the scheme from the episode,
which looks to be bright yellow,
orange, red, light blue, lavender,
and what's that last one? Fuchsia? Coral?
Can you guys tell?
- Link: No. - Rhett: Green.
- ( snorts ) - Colors.
We'll just call it pink.
When it comes to crayons, you have two options--
skinless or skin on.
Purists are gonna say skin on,
and that's how it appears in the episode,
but for taste purposes, we're gonna go ahead
and peel the crayons.
It's really weird to hear your voice-over
while this is clearly in your mouth.
Yeah, yeah.
Once you have 20 or so crayons peeled,
place those as evenly as you can
on top of your bread smeared with mayonnaise.
- That fits beautifully. - Link: Mm-hmm.
- It looks great. - It looks delicious.
Link: It looks like a rainbow.
We're gonna give it a light sprinkle
of coarse-ground sea salt...
Link: Double salt, bae?
...because, I mean, who knows
why we do anything anymore, right?
Just put the other slice of bread on top.
Heat an ungodly amount of salted butter
in a heavy bottomed skillet over medium heat
for about a minute until the solids
start to separate.
Link: Ooh! You just burnt my arm.
The brown butter is an attempt
to make you forget that you're eating
a bunch of crayons.
It will not work. Like, at all.
- Watch your hand. - Do we want some mayo?
No, God.
Put the sandwich on the pan.
You want to really press your spatula
on top of the sandwich to drive it
into the direct heat
and make sure the entire surface area
of the bread gets nice and toasty.
Don't worry about melting your crayons
all the way through.
You can leave a few undercooked
to add textural contrast.
We need to flip. We need to flip.
- Rhett: Okay. - Link: Okay.
Oh, boy, here we go.
Flip the sandwich after about five minutes
and continue cooking for an additional five.
- Link: One. - Andrew: Oh, you guys are geniuses.
- Or I'm a genius, I guess, because-- - Link: Oh, no!
- Rhett: No, no, no, no. - Link: Oh! Oh!
Andrew: Most of them--
Pull the sandwich off the heat
and let it rest for a few minutes
before you eat it. Now, there is one more element
to Ralph's grilled crayon sandwich
and that is thumb tacks.
Yeah, no, I didn't think so.
Well, let's eat this thing, and may the food Gods
have mercy on our souls.
Mm-mmm.
- Yeah. - You guys earned this.
Mm. Mm.
Really tasting that color.
It said non-toxic on 'em. I think that means edible.
Are you guys swallowing this?
- Are you? - I don't think so.
Link:
A GMM hat to be exact.
Get one at mythical.store.