I'm trying to think, like what other weird things,
like, I was at Kenny G's Super Bowl party.
What?
You are the celebrity Where's Waldo.
You put...
You show up everywhere.
Nothing makes sense to me.
Wait, how do you know Kenny G?
From Chris Martin's birthday party.
Holy shit. What?
That doesn't explain it.
How do you know Chris Martin?
Fella, I don't know.
I don't know how things in my life work.
Don't call me fella.
Them's is fighting words.
Them's? Uh uh.
(all laughing)
We've established I'm a very sad lesbian.
Do not call me fella.
(all laughing)
I don't understand it.
I look at all of your explanations
for, "how do you know Chris Martin?"
"Well, Robert de Niro introduced me"
"Well, how do you know Robert de Niro?"
"Well, I was at Al Pacino's wedding."
Yeah, "I was at Al Pacino's St. Patrick's Day salute."
What?
(all laughing) How do you know St. Patrick?
Yeah.
Jack is like the opposite of you.
Your podcast is called "Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend"
and Jack just has so many friends.
You know, what's interesting?
You are, I think that's where all this rage, on my part,
comes from is that I try and try and try,
but like Nixon,
all my efforts only make me less popular.
Yeah.
[Conan] Do you know what I mean?
That's true.
And you are just this-
Yeah.
This, you know,
you're this grinning-
Well, let's take a look at why that may be.
He's nice.
He's really nice.
Jack is the friendliest person I know.
You are nice.
And he's accomplished so much
and he's still so kind to everybody.
And also, he hosts the Apple TV+,
"Hello Jack! The Kindness Show"
I do. I'm real proud of that.
And you know what?
It's very nice.
It's a very...
It's a children's show.
It's kind of like Mr. Rogers neighborhood. Okay? And-
My daughter has taken to this show like no other.
I know. You told me that.
[Sona] My boys love it too.
That's a big compliment.
I really love that.
She adores it.
Congratulations on that because it premiered last fall,
a special episode was just released in June.
Correct.
[Conan] This is a very popular show.
I've known you for a long time and it is meant a lot to you
to wanna do a children's show.
Yeah.
It's "The Kindness Show",
which is kind of on brand for you. You do believe in...
And this is where you and I don't see eye to eye.
I pitched a show-
When's your show "The Asshole Show",
coming out for kids?
(Sona laughs)
My Apple TV+ salute to Satan.
Oh no.
Conan O'Brien makes good on his deal with the devil.
(everyone laughs)
Mr. O'Brien, can I have a lollipop?
Get out-
You'll get nothing and like it.
Oh
Mr. O'Brien, what happens to us as we get old?
We die!
Oh man.
Cigarette on the forehead.
No, but it comes from a real place with you.
Yeah.
[Conan] That's nice.
Yes. I have limited skill sets as you've pointed out.
I'm not saying limited-
But it fits here.
Have you ever thought I wanna play a villain?
I wanna play someone who's evil.
I wanna play...
Because you are a very...
You know, all joking aside,
you are a very talented fellow.
You could...
And I'm sure a terrific actor.
Do you ever wanna play completely against type?
No.
You don't wanna?
I mean, not yet.
What about a guy who's just a real like assassin.
Yeah.
[Conan] And a murderer. Do you think you could do that?
Do you think you have it within you to say things like,
"Nice try. Now you die.",
that kinda stuff?
Let's try that.
Do you wanna try it?
Like that?
Whatever, how you would...
How would Jack McBrayer be an assassin?
A terrible murderer who's just out for blood.
I'll lay in like an action music sting here and then-
(dramatic music)
Nice try. Now you die.
(All laughing)
Coming this fall.
I would watch that.
Yeah, I would too.
Because you know what?
It's a new take on evil.
You know, you're a guy who's got manners banged into you,
you know, from childhood,
but you got into this profession
and you're good at killing and you don't...
It doesn't particularly make you too upset to kill,
but you still have the same affect that you have.
Don't you think that would be great?
I guess, I just don't care for the killing.
I know, but that part, you kill with a gun,
so it's not personal.
You know what I mean?
There you go. Good justifying.
(all laughing)
What does he kill with?
Dew break
Do me a favor just say,
"If I don't get my money in 24 hours,
the puppy dies."
(dramatic music)
If don't get my money in 24 hours,
That puppy will die.
( all laughing)
Now say "I'm doing the Dew."
Oh, I want to.
Oh, watch them send me a six pack of Mountain Dew.
Just a six pack.
More that a six pack.
A four pack.
I'm doing the Dew.