- Hey guy, welcome back to a channel.
A few weeks ago, I turned 26.
Today, I'm gonna be joining Kidz Bop,
(upbeat rock music)
Hopefully.
(upbeat music)
Now, I know what you're thinking.
Why? and that's a great question.
It's because Kidz Bop has gotten out of hand.
They have been exploding (explosion)
in popularity and I don't understand it.
For most of my life I've been led to believe
that the only people who listen to Kidz Bop
are the children whose mother this is.
But no, Kidz Bop is a global empire.
Children everywhere are listening to it,
seemingly on purpose.
Kidz Bop 40 just came out, and there are 66 songs on it.
An album with 66 songs.
That's like watching a 12 hour movie.
But the reason there are 66 songs in here is
because Kidz Bop is now an international brand,
no longer content with simply
just ruining American pop music.
They now have songs in Spanish.
(upbeat music in Spanish)
German
(soft music in German)
and listen to this.
(upbeat music in Korean)
that's right. They got Kidz Bop K-pop.
When I was a kid, we made fun of Kidz Bop
and now that other people are kids, they're listening to it?
And here's the thing,
I know I'm very passionate about Kidz Bop, who wouldn't be?
But you're probably wondering what's my plan here?
What am I hoping to get
out of joining something that I openly dislike?
And I'll tell you,
I'm gonna take down Kidz Bop from the inside.
(upbeat rock )
Hopefully. First I pose as a multi-talented child prodigy
who just looks kinda old for his age of 12.
Then once I'm inside, I start working my way up the ladder.
I find a way to get promoted to manager,
then district manager, then assistant manager,
then president of Kidz Bop.
From there it's as simple as just firing all the kids.
No Kidz, no Bop.
So today I will be auditioning but before I get
to what will undoubtedly be the biggest audition of my life,
I first wanna share with you guys
some of the worst atrocities that Kidz Bop
has bestowed upon our eardrums over the years.
Starting with their first album.
Kidz Bop debuted in 2001, and it was the second worst thing
to happen that year.
But it's weird, listening to this,
you might notice one glaring difference between these songs
and every other song they've ever made.
Here's blink 182's All The Small Things.
(upbeat music)
♪ All the small things ♪
♪ True care ♪
- It's some fucking old guy, that's not kids.
♪ Work sucks ♪
- This guy's older than the entire band.
This guy might be 182.
What happened to the whole by kids for kids business model?
This is like by weird uncle for nobody.
♪ Work sucks ♪
- Okay. Don't worry.
There are kids in this song, sort of.
Let's get to the chorus.
(Children and Older man singing All The Small Things chorus)
Yeah, this is obviously a great song,
but it does beg the question: huh?!
Is this what kidz bop was supposed to be?
The world's weirdest cover band?
It's like one adult man and four kids.
Na na na na na na
This theme continues on the rest of the album.
We've got J. Lo,
(Kidz Bop cover of J. Lo song)
the Backstreet Boys,
(Kidz Bop I Want it That Way cover)
You got Smash Mouth
(Kidz Bop All Star cover)
And it's the same thing every time,
bad adult singer accompanied by children
who may or may not have been kidnapped.
(Kidz Bop Fly by Sugar Ray cover)
Now, this album was not sold in stores.
You could only buy it by calling a phone number
that you could only get by watching a commercial.
And as we already discussed, it's a karaoke CD made
by a bunch of amateur musicians and three random kids.
So naturally they sold 800,000 copies.
$21 a piece, that's a cool 17 mil,
someone's production budget just skyrocketed.
So let's check out Kidz Bop two.
(Man singing R&B cover)
Man, this guy can spit some bars.
♪ We're getting married, that's my lovin', and all my huggin ♪
- All my hugging.
(Chorus of Kidz Bop Higher cover)
I think there's fewer kids on this album than the first one.
I guess we could try Kids Bop three?
(Man covering Wherever You Will Go)
Okay, who is this guy? Whose uncle is this?
(Chorus of Kidz Bop Wherever You Will Go cover)
You know what this sounds like?
Have you ever been to a bar,
and there's some shitty cover band playing in the corner?
It sounds like if they couldn't get a babysitter,
so they were just like, alright kids,
guess you're coming with us.
But stay in the back, alright?
Oh shit they got simple plan on here? Let's go dude.
(Simple Plan cover)
It's still just some guy.
(cover of Cry Me A River)
Where are the kids? I thought this was Kidz Bop!
Holy shit, Ocean Avenue?
Now I don't often share this fact with people,
but Yellow Card was my favorite band for like 10 years.
So this better be good.
(Poorly done cover of Ocean Avenue)
When does the guy go away?
It's gotta be soon, right?
(Man covering Boulevard of Broken Dreams)
- Nope.
(Man covering Nickelback's Photograph)
No.
(Man covering Move Along)
Still no.
Forget trying to figure out
when the adults stopped being a part of this.
When does this get good?
I mean like, I don't enjoy new Kidz Bop,
but we can all acknowledge
that there is some competent production there.
This is awful.
♪ Work sucks ♪
Remember Bad Day?
The song, most people probably know because they played it
whenever American idol contestants got voted out?
Well even if you've never heard of it,
even just the title should give you a hint
of the tone of the song.
It's about having a bad day.
So let's hear the Kidz Bop rendition.
- ♪ Where was the moment we needed the most? ♪
- [Kids] Yeah!
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost.
- [Kids] Whoo!
- It's been such a rough week for me.
I accidentally ran over my cat on one
of those bird scooters.
- Yeah!
- And it sucks because I just spent like $50 on cat food
- Whoo!
- And you said you're the only therapist
my insurance covers?
- Yeah!
- 18. That's when they finally fired all the weird adults,
and let the kids take over.
I mean, it makes sense that they would wait
until they were 18 to grant them their independence.
But what doesn't make sense is that on this album
they did a cover of Justin Bieber's Baby,
which is a song that was already sung by a kid,
and they changed none of the lyrics.
So I'm not sure how necessary this was.
You know, it's a shame that they eventually strayed away
from their original business model
of having some weird old guy sing the songs
because that's what I am.
But I will not let this deter me
from the fact that I'm going to be joining Kidz Bop today
whether they like it or not.
Well, I guess they would have to like it, I'm auditioning.
Now, if you go to the kid's bop website
you may notice there's no link
on here to submit my audition.
You have to manually type in kidzbop.com/casting.
It's on this page where you can learn
all about what it takes to become a Kidz Bop kid.
Wait, hold on, I think that might actually be-
(Twinkling)
Huh.
Now, if I'm going to successfully pull off this experiment,
I need to fully transform into a kid.
You may have already noticed I'm wearing Danny's slime shirt
because kids fuckin love slime.
I'm also wearing the shortest shorts that I own
because it just seemed like something a kid would do.
I don't know.
But I'm not going to keep the feds
off my trail just by looking like a kid.
I also need to sound like a kid,
and that starts with my name.
I can't use Drew Gooden for this
because if they look it up my cover's blown.
No, I have to come up with a different name.
That doesn't sound like my name,
but also makes me sound like a kid.
Perfect. With a name like that,
they'll never suspect a thing.
So the audition itself is very straightforward.
I sing a couple songs, do a dance
that they've choreographed for me.
Mm I can smell that acceptance letter already.
Let's do this
- Hey Kidz Bop it's me your newest member.
Just kidding, or maybe not.
I've been singing and dancing my whole life.
Actually, my first words were a whole song,
and the first time I walked, I actually, I did the moonwalk
a few things about me that you should know.
I have won awards and I have hobbies as well,
and I play sports too.
Alright, I think I nailed that part.
The tricky portion of this
is going to be the singing though.
I don't have a very good singing voice.
(Drew imitating a Kidz Bop song)
But luckily they don't know that.
Yes, I think this will do nicely.
This is my song, thank you for listening.
(A child's voice covering Adele's Hello)
The next part was also a little tricky,
I had to learn a one-minute choreographed dance
and I almost gave up on this.
It took me a few days, but I finally nailed it.
(upbeat Kidz Bop cover)
Another minute or so freestyle dancing,
that shouldn't be a problem.
(Kidz Bop Photograph Cover)
Hi, Hollywood? Yeah, I'll take a one-way ticket.
If your child plays an instrument,
please showcase 30 seconds.
Now not to brag or anything, but this part
should be a cake walk,
I've actually been playing guitar for about seven years.
So I don't even need to fake this
(Relaxing acoustic guitar music)
(Electric guitar shredding)
(Cover of Hello by child)
That was a fucking breeze,
now I just got to send this off to some guy named Stuart.
Stuart Stone Casting, let's find out his deal.
- Hey, Will Roberts out here in Hollywood, California.
I'm actually at Stuart Stone, he's a casting director
here in Los Angeles, California, a big one!
- Doh! A big one!
- Alright hey Will Roberts out here
in Hollywood- eh, kinda Hollywood, California.
- Wait what? He just said a minute ago, he said Hollywood.
And now he's in kind of Hollywood.
I mean, technically we're kind of near Hollywood,
I mean we're in Utah, but we're close
- A big one!
All right, this guy seems legit.
There is one comment on this video,
and it is Stuart Stone is hilarious! (read sarcasm).
Yeah, I wanna work with this guy, barrel of laughs, not.
I don't think he'd know funny if he sat on it.
Alright, well, if this is the guy
in charge of Kidz Bop casting,
then I think I might actually have a shot.
So I'm going to go ahead and send this off.
It looks like the only thing we'll have to do now is wait
for that acceptance email to come rolling in.
(Rock chord)
(gasp) He's probably just busy.
Hey, in the meantime, I think it
wouldn't be a bad idea to go scope out my competition,
and I know just the place.
Alright guys, we are here in beautiful Kissimmee, Florida
home of Gator land, which is like a zoo
except it's all swamp animals.
So we're here at Kidz Bop live,
a real thing that I just found out is real and exists.
We're going to see just how well these kids can bop.
And if they can do it better than me, which probably not
because I'm really talented and that's what we're gonna see.
So let's check it out.
Entering the arena, my confidence was at an all time high.
These kids didn't stand a chance.
Little did they know they were about to take part
in the biggest performance review of their life.
I actually did a little research
before the show, get a load of this kid.
He says his dream is to play professional basketball.
Well, sorry to break it to you, Stephen,
But last time I checked, they don't let 11 year olds play
in the NBA. What an idiot.
Meet the other kids? I don't want to.
Anyway, back to this snooze Fest.
Wait, are they playing Thank You, Next?
I love this song. It's kind of like I'm
at an Ariana Grande concert right now
but for half the price.
Oh wow, they're they're really good dancers.
That one's playing the guitar?
That's pretty cool. Or I mean, dumb, obviously.
These kids suck, but, shit they're really working
that stage, they're naturals.
What the hell?
I didn't think these kids would actually have talent.
I can't compete with this. I'm old.
And I thought they'd all be pooping their pants up there
but they actually look cool as hell.
They managed to transform this giant arena
used almost exclusively for professional bull riding
into a banging rock concert? Fuck!
I'm not better than these guys.
I'm just some creep who paid a hundred dollars to
bring his wife to a Kidz Bop concert.
And I think I'm a fan now? How did this happen?
Why am I having so much fun? This is fantastic.
You know, I guess it just goes to show you.
Sometimes things may not go according to plan.
Sometimes they're even better.
This morning, I thought I wanted to join Kidz Bop
so I could destroy them, but now it's
because I'm excited to be taken under their wing.
I have so much to learn and I can't wait to start.
Thanks Kidz Bop.
This turned out to be the best day of my life.
(Kidz Bop All the Small Things cover)
Man, fuck this I'm going to gator land.
Thank you guys so much for watching this video.
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Okay. Bye-bye.