Moderator: Sir, how do you know that the person you are with is the right person for you (Laughter/Applause)?
Sadhguru: Oh! Popular, hmm (Laughter)?
It once happened, Shankaran Pillai was at the family dinner.
And when everybody settled down for dinner, he stood up at the table and announced,
“I am going to marry Lucy who is just across the street!”
I hope that’s not the name (Laughter).
Then the father said, “What? You’re going to marry Lucy? She has nothing, she is like a tramp.
You are going to marry that Lucy?”
Mother said, “What? You are going to marry that Lucy?
The uncle - uncles always pitch in in these kind of matters, you know (Laughter)
uncle said, “What? You are going to marry that Lucy? Have you seen her hair? It looks fake!”
The aunt, “What? You are going to marry Lucy? She is… She is always painted.
You are going to marry that painted woman?”
The little boy, the nephew can't be left out, he said, “You are going to marry Lucy?
She does… doesn’t even know what is cricket (Few laugh).
How can you marry her?”
Shankaran Pillai stood his ground and said, “Yes, I am going to marry Lucy.”
Everybody asked in one voice, “Why?”
He said, “Because she has no family (Laughter).
There are no many opinions to battle with (Few laugh).”
So, who is the right person?
I don’t want to take away all the romance from your life (Laughter).
But let me tell you this, there is no right person on this planet.
If you put your heart into something, something may become wonderful.
Is it the right thing?
There is no right thing.
Nobody ever found the right person anywhere, okay?
If you get into that kind of unrealistic mindset, “I have found the right person!”
Oh, you will be soon disappointed (Laughter).
You must understand there is no right person.
First thing is to see whether “I am the right person.”
Yes, “Am I the right person?”
And there are no right people on this planet.
If you understand, you have your nonsense, they have their nonsense.
We can adjust nonsense to nonsense and go on.
We must understand relationships are formed for various needs.
There are physical needs, there are psychological needs, there are emotional needs, there may be social needs,
there may be financial needs, various kinds of needs.
So, when you’re going to somebody with so many needs you’re going as a beggar, and a beggar cannot choose.
Hello? Beggar eat whats comes his way, isn’t it? He cannot choose.
So if you really want to make a choice in this world, first and foremost thing is you bring yourself to a place
where your experience of life is just pleasant by yourself, you’re wonderful.
Now, let us see what gets drawn to this one,
if you are really wonderful, things will happen in every way I am saying.
In terms of career, in terms of marriage, in terms of relationships,
the best will happen to you because you made yourself like this.
Instead of trying to work on somebody and fix them, if you work upon yourself and make you so wonderful
that everybody wants to be with you, then there is a choice.
And this whole thing, this is an American thing, that there is a soul-mate somewhere.
God made just one more person just for you.
But these days, every two years he keeps making one more person just for you (Laughter/Applause).
Obviously, God is making too many mistakes with you (Laughter).
See, body needs a mate, understandable.
Maybe psychologically also you need a mate, understandable.
Emotionally you need a mate.
Soul cannot need a mate.
So, soul doesn’t need a mate, nor was some person made perfectly for you, okay?
This creation makes all kinds of unique idiots.
Tch, if you understand you are one kind of idiot and the others are different kind, you will be…
you will understand their nonsense because you know you got your stuff.
If you think you’re perfect and God has chosen you and he’s made another person perfect somewhere else,
you’re heading for a disaster, okay (Laughs)?
There’s no such thing.
Even you know people today after 5000 years people are still adulating and worshiping Krishna
as the greatest lover, but his wives are dead unhappy with the guy.
Yes.
So you’re not going to find any perfect person.
If you invest a deep sense of involvement, something wonderful may happen, it’s because of your involvement.
Not because the other person is fantastic, no.
Even if you choose a fool - actually it’s easy that way.
If they are not stupid why would they come to you first of all (Laughter/Applause)?
No, no (Laughs) I’m just being nasty.
So even if you choose a fool it doesn’t matter.
If you involve yourself, it can turn out very beautiful.
You chose the smartest person in the universe, it could be a disaster.
So do not think in terms of, you know, whatever this “made for each other” nonsense.
No. You choose the opposite actually.
But after sometime, after a little bit of time, you slowly start expecting they’re just like you.
This is a serious mistake.
Because if one more person becomes just like you, you won’t be able to bear with them for two days, hello?
Please tell me, if there’s one more person just like you at home, could you live there (Applause)?
You’re glad they are different.
It’s wonderful nobody is like you, isn’t it?
Nobody is like you on this planet, try and see.
Nobody is like you and that’s good.
Don’t look for sameness.
Not necessary.
It’s the difference which makes the… because of the difference you tango, not otherwise (Laughs)