Why did I think there would be more customers
in the middle of nowhere instead of in a town?
Huh?
Hi!
I've got some cra-
-some items to sell.
Of COURSE!
No problem at all for the Hero of Hyrule!
The resale value on anything he touches is going to be bonkers!
I'm set for life!
That'll teach Dad!
That'll teach everyo-
W- what are these?
Bokoblin guts.
They taste like assholes.
But now they're all yours!
Money please.
Oh!
You don't have any...
swords or...
shields you could part with?
Oh yeah, loads!
But I'm always breaking them.
Being a hero isn't easy you know.
I mean, look:
Huh?
Just a few more...
See what I mean?
Aaanyway take these guts.
Ooooooh Thank You!
No, thank YOU!
I didn't think anyone would buy this crap.
I'll be back with more later.
Wait no I just automatically say that whenever someone buys something!
Haha, you're funny! Ok, see you tomorrow Boodle!
*Link singing the Main Legend of Zelda themetune*
Here you go!
Ooooooh Thank You!
DRIVE BY!
*Beedle screams, Link laughs, drunk*
Ooooooh Thank You!
That guy loves guts soooo much!
S-s-s-s-safe at last
HANG ON, I'LL BE RIGHT THERE!
F-f-f-f-f-fuuuuu
W-w-well, maybe I can at least buy the sledgehammer...
Oooooof course.
OOH
And here you g-
No! Please!
Why me, Link?
What have I done?!
Hahahahaha
Oh Boodle, you crack me up.
I know you love 'em!
I don't though!
I'm the BEETLE guy!
My goddamn name is BEEDLE
because I fucking
LOVE
BEETLES!
You know who loves monster parts?
Kilton!
That's his THING!
Yeah, it's kinda my whole deal, y'know?
Whatever, you're closer to the fast travel point.
What... is that?!
Oh, I have like 50 of these.
I'm keeping them all though,
Juuust in case I might need them some day.
THAT'S IT!
I'll take your garbage
But I never want to see your perfect Elven face around here ever again!
Thaaaaaank yoouuuuuuuu
*sigh*
I told you, I don't want your-
My what?
My guts?
Oh.
Oh no.
Word around the fire is, some psycho's been hoarding body parts from Bokoblins.
Know anyone like that round here?
I don't want them, really! I've been trying to sell them!
SELL THEM?!
And you call us monsters!
How would you feel if someone cut you open
and sold your insides on the open market?
Lets find out.
Oh!
Oh my god you SAVED me!
You really are the Hero of Hyrule!
I was so foolish!
How can I ever possibly repay such a selfless act?!
Thank you, Thank you, THAAA-
Here you go, and here's some more, and even more and a bit more! All for you. and another, and another, I have so many, I could keep going forever!
Thaaank you.
Uh, thaaaaank yuuuuou.
Wooooweeeee
Is eating your own boogers considered cannibalism?
(sigh) Nothing ever changes around here.
Is eating your own boogers considered cannibalism?
Huh?
But.. that sick 360 noscope triple headshot...
to my dome...?
It’s happening again! SAVE YOURSELVES!
What’s his deal?
Rip him apart, go on!
Was I dreaming? D-Did I see the future? If I die again is it for real this time?
Stupid glow-y eye chest…
give… me… your… crap…
Oh! I missed one of you squishy guys!
Sick em Pooh!
Please don’t eat…. Me?
Well, that’s a relief...
and also deeply unsettling.
Is eating your own boogers con--
That monster out there is going to kill us AGAIN!
Don’t you remember?
Sorry, I’m a little preoccupied with the ethics of mucus consumption.
TIMBER!!!!
That’s trees ASHO…
We should be safe here….
Huh.
Mother-
…cker!
Okay… okay, that one is probably on us.
Making kids beds out of exploding barrels was a bad idea.
I’ve got you now, shit seed.
Do your worst ELFBOY!
Ha! You missed me ladyface!
I wish I was at least wearing pants for this.
Excuse me. Elf.
Before you tear me, my friends, my family, everybody I’ve ever cared about into little bloody pieces,
can I just ask one little question?
Urg… fine one question.
ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY YOU SICK POINTY EARED
FUCKING HUGE EYED PSYCHOPATH???
WHY DO YOU KEEP KILLING US AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN?
IS IT FUN FOR YOU?
IS THIS WHAT YOU DO FOR FUN YOU SICK FUCK???
Woah, woah, that was way more than one!
My shrine beep thing keeps beeping its shrine-y beep noise
and all you baklavas are in the way.
See? Urgh.
I probably have to do some stupid bullshit to make it appear.
Shrine? Like that shrine.
Right there.
The shrine behind that tree.
Wohoo! I’ve done it again!
Do me a favor and stay right here.
I need more guts for Boodle, he loves that stuff.
Kill you later, Baskin-Robbins!
Is eating your own boogers considered cannibalism?
No. No. NOOOOOO!
Geez, alright geez fair enough.
Say, you ever have deja-