- I am definitely a go-getter,
I definitely take risks, I would say,
and I'm not afraid to just pick up and move forward.
I think that that is something that is super valuable
and that I've learned from seeing him
kind of stumble and trip throughout the years.
(soft music)
Hi, I'm Autumn, and today I'm gonna be telling you
about the time that I learned that helping other people
get what they want helps you get what you want.
I grew up in Phoenix, Arizona, very exotic place.
It was an interesting upbringing for sure,
I think my relationship with my parents
wasn't totally great, I was kind of
that know-it-all oldest child, kid,
I felt very much like my parents weren't normal parents.
When I was really young, my dad was in bands
and he was a music producer and creative.
And many creatives know the struggle,
we just did not have a lot of money.
Our recording studio was in our house
and my dad had actually converted our garage
into a two room recording studio.
I remember falling asleep every night
to the sound of musicians recording in the room next to me
and even seeing in the corner of my wall
cracks going down the corner of the wall
because there were bands in there performing
and it was sound and stuff, so I just remember
all the kids thought my life was awesome and really cool
and I thought their life was awesome and really cool
and I wanted that guidance and I wanted
that structure I think, and so that's kind of
when I started to realize, I was like, "This is not normal."
Only in retrospect, now am I really grateful
for that upbringing.
I definitely wasn't when I was younger.
He had a very interesting background,
he was adopted when he was three days old
and into a fairly big family, loving family,
but definitely had some things happen with his parents.
He was in and out of juvi hall for being incorrigible,
and so he had a really tough upbringing
that he felt was quite loveless in some capacities
and I think he always said to us,
I knew that I wanted a family someday
'cause I wanted to see people who looked like me.
He would just kill himself,
hours and hours and hours working, working, working,
really tryin' to make something happen
and over the years I think it compounded
where he felt both kind of like a failure
in some capacities as it relates to his career,
and then also because he wasn't feeling
that he was able to provide for us in a big way,
he felt like a failure as a father as well.
It was very difficult, I think, we were very close,
we did a lot together, he really made me somebody
who was always fending for themself as well
and I think he just made me strong.
At the same time we would fight about everything
and I didn't understand why he was the way he was.
And I think now my dad is one of my best friends,
he has taught me so much and I'm very lucky,
now I think I am, to have him around
and to have learned the things that I've learned.
You could just tell that in certain moments he was angry
or he would sleep a lot and that was really hard to see
as a kid and I just thought, "Oh whatever, he's a jerk."
All of us kids ended up being at school a lot
because I think we wanted to avoid
that particular situation, even though our parents
both showed up to all of our sporting events,
they were super supportive of us, they were great parents,
but at the same time just going through
their own personal stuff.
But it just came to the point at one point
where he was like, "You know what,
"I need to provide better for the family."
I still remember the first day that my dad
got an actual day job, and I remember seeing him dressed
in a white button up shirt and I was like,
"This is the strangest thing," but I will never
forget that day because it was just finally the day
that I felt like my dad was an adult, like a dad.
As time went on, it translated,
then when he became a mortgage broker,
he was also having issues kind of getting his business going
and it was kind of the same thing
'cause mortgage brokers are typically commissioned,
and so you don't get just your salary
and suddenly everything's great, right,
you have to work extra hard to make it happen.
He was just struggling.
He would go to open houses,
he would go to meet and have lunch with realtors,
he would do everything, cold calling, he would buy leads,
anything he could do, and it just felt like
every single place he was going
it was just like another blow, getting knocked down
again and again and again,
and I saw that that behavior didn't change really.
Only now do I really see the way that his change
has occurred has changed the way
that our entire family interacts and I think even my mom,
the way that she interacts with us
is very different than it used to be.
The main moment that I learned this lesson
was probably more in that, over the years
he's kind of encountered the same challenges
again and again and again, in both music
and in this particular career, right?
So it's like he thought that he was going to suddenly
flip the switch and have a much easier time,
but in reality he faced similar challenges
in both capacities.
I think what he ultimately ended up waking up to
was one day he was like, "I'm just as miserable now
"as I was when I was failing at my dream,
"and at least I had my dream."
What he started to do was like, how can I get this back
and how can I have it both?
How can I have a stable career and a stable life
and provide for my family, but also do what I love
in some capacity?
My younger brother is an amazing drummer.
My dad wanted to help him make YouTube covers,
be involved obviously 'cause they have that bond of music,
both musicians, and so my dad started teaching himself,
not music, but teaching himself how to do videography
and editing and stuff like that
so he could help out my younger brother.
He kind of just suddenly one day woke up
and was like, "I know what I need to do
"with this video stuff."
And I was like, "What are you gonna do?"
He was like, "I'm gonna do videography related to homes.
"I'm gonna help realtors with their social media presence
"and I'm gonna do drone tours of luxury homes.
"That's how I'm gonna get my name out there."
And I was like, "You are nuts."
And he just said, "I really believe
"that this is gonna be the thing."
So over all these years he had spent so much time
trying to work for other people and do really good work
and be accessible and even through this last couple years
he was killing himself hours and hours,
hundreds of hours, just making videos for $100 a video
to help other people get their exposure out there,
and sometimes they'd kick him deals back
and sometimes they wouldn't.
Now it's crazy to see the change
from him being depressed and sleeping all day
and just feeling so awful about where he was,
he's excited about putting out videos,
people are commenting, sharing, and I think he feels
a sense of value and he feels like suddenly
people really believe in his ability
to do this mortgage thing, but also just to exist
in the world in a fun way.
He finally got what he was after which was that purpose
and that excitement in his day to day life
and it took years, literally 13 or 14 years,
of him failing time after time
after time after time after time, and helping everybody else
get what they want, but then in the end,
he's now hit a routine that he actually enjoys
and that is good for him.
He is definitely still doing the artistic thing
and he is super excited about it,
and he actually said to me, he goes,
"I'm really tryin' to figure out
"how I can just do the video thing full-time."
It's cool to see him super excited
about something like that.
My dad just turned 50 this year.
That also shows it's never too late
to change what you're doing and change your situation.
That's such a good lesson as a kid.
I always say my parents didn't tell me
how to live ever, they just lived and I watched them do it,
and they let me watch very honestly and openly and that was,
I think something that ended up being very useful
and I respect them a lot more now than I ever did before,
because now I understand what the point was.
But it's pretty amazing how it all pans out
because I just think it's the lessons
that he's been able to pass on
have been so valuable to all of us.
He has always been passionate about helping other people
find their way and find their dream.
My dad, during his very crazy career life path
and everything that he's done, has definitely taught me
that when you give people the things that they want
and you really go out of your way
to have good intentions when you approach things
that the universe, whatever you believe in,
finds a way to kind of return the things
that you are after to you at some point in time.
Don't give up and keep going, and that's the most
important thing that I've learned from my dad.
(inspiring music)