JASON SILVA: You know, if I had to verbalize what I believe
accounts for the failure of most of my romantic relationships
is the fact that I can not bear love's aging.
I cannot stand the dissolution of the honeymoon phase, right.
As soon as the vacation, the electrifying vitality,
the rapture of meeting someone new
fades it's a kind of death practice.
You die a little.
When enthralment dissipates you kind of
have a moment of profound tragic realization
that everything passes, that our greatest ecstasies are imbued,
are cast upon by a shadow of dread, of knowing that this
will pass, that this will end.
So what do we do when we look into the iris of a lover's eye,
right?
When being seen by the person you
love so much gives you goose bumps,
makes you cry, touches your core, touches your soul,
titillates everything inside of you.
Makes you think of that Roland Barthes books,
"Lover's Discourse," about how the cradling that
takes place between two people when they finally
feel safe, like Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden
before the tree of knowledge, before knowledge of death,
and of transience was known.
See, I want to live in that garden of Eden.
I fantasize about it.
I watch movies about it.
I listen to beautiful songs about it.
Curiosity killed the cat.
I ate from the tree of knowledge.
I learned about death, and mortality, and endings,
and entropy.
And I think that that has haunted
all of my relationships, this terror
of the inevitable ending, and I'm still dealing
with finding a hack for that.
That's the truth.
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