- [Penn's Voice] You think you did all that?
I did all that with mind control! (laughs)
(upbeat music)
(kid laughing)
- Hey guys, how are you?
I'm a little disturbed right now,
because Kim has admitted something to me
that I don't know if she meant to tell me,
but now I'm wondering if this entire marriage is a lie.
- What?
(parents laugh)
- So I wanna tell the story and then I wanna
ask women, "Is this really a thing?"
- No, it's just me, no other woman does this.
- We were out at dinner this weekend
and we were telling someone this story
about how we decided to move into a new house,
which we did a couple years ago.
- Yeah, it was your idea.
You'd literally outgrown the house.
- [Kim's Voice] I can't fit into this shower anymore, honey.
It's so small and I'm so big, and I hit my head
on the doorways every time I walk through.
I want a new house and I'm so glad it's my idea.
- And I felt good about that.
It was a good decision, right?
You like the new house, right?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, OK.
So Kim looks at me with this kind of evil look,
and she says,
- [Penn's Voice] "You realize that was my idea to move.
"I planted that idea in your head, like six months
"before these words came out of your mouth.
"I planted the seed." (laughs)
(laughs)
- Yeah.
- I mean...
- So the evil laugh, that's an exaggeration,
but the negative truth is there.
Penn got really defensive.
- I was like, freaked out!
- Immediately, he was like,
- [Kim's Voice] Hang on, now,
how did you plant an idea in my head?
We aren't Leonardo DiCaprio from Inception;
you don't have a weird briefcase with sleep drugs
and a skinny assistant.
This is just so Inception and
you're making me do things and..."
- Kim just caught me sitting there,
and I'm imagining this as you just having an evil
look on your face like Mr. Burns from The Simpsons. Like,
- [Penn's Voice] "I remember the exact moment
I decided to do this.
I also did it with having a baby,
with getting you to quit your job,
and every shirt you've ever bought.
You think you did all that?
I did all that with mind control!" (laughs)
(laughs)
- I have a good evil laugh, just high.
- So Penn gets very defensive,
questioning what is real and what is not.
- Do I have free will at all?
- He's like,
- [Kim's Voice] "Wait, I have no free will?"
- [Penn Voiceover] Are you just a puppet master,
and I'm a marionette?
- [Kim's Voice] "Am I a slave?
I have rights in this partnership.
Also, how are you doing this!"
- I'm not gonna go as far as to call it mind control,
but it works better, when it's your idea;
and when it's your idea,
it's usually my idea three months beforehand.
- We thought that this would be an opportunity,
and I can't wait to hear this, I haven't heard it yet;
Kim is going to stylize the easy steps on
Step one.
- Plant the seed.
For example, I wanted a really yellow dining room.
I started, a few months before, saying
"Yellow is my favorite color. I love yellow.
You know, when I'm sad, yellow makes me so happy,
and I just love..."
- "It's like the sun."
- I remember you saying that!
That was about the room?
- It is like the Florida sun,
we're living in North Carolina,
it gets pretty brutal winters,
and it just reminds me of home.
So the seed has been planted.
Next step, you ask them to imagine,
and when somebody can imagine something,
it becomes more real.
This is the reason why books are
always better than the movies;
because if you can imagine it, it becomes more real.
- Wait, so what is it that you asked me to imagine?
- "Imagine just like, really bright yellow.
"Imagine it," and I asked you to imagine that.
(laughs)
And so, step three is...
...ask them the question.
So the question was,
"Honey, what color should our dining room be?"
- And I said yellow?
- You said yellow.
- Shut up. I said yellow?
- OK, step four is don't ever them about this process!
So I'm breaking step four, but it's typically...
- I don't know if I'm smart enough to be aware
that you're doing this anyway,
now that you've told me this, but....
Wait, so you talked about the color yellow,
you asked me to imagine something,
and then you randomly asked me it.
I'm the one who said to make it that color?
I hate that color!
- It was your idea.
- (laughs) Oh my gosh.
I'd like to file an official complaint.
- With who?
- With the Dad Police.
- OK.
- That you are...
- Get in line.
- (laughs) You are controlling my life.
Next question, and this is up to you guys.
Are you doing this to your husbands,
and if so, can you give me some examples?
'Cause I bet they're pretty funny.