Hi, I'm Nicholeen Peck and I teach all over the world about parenting, good communication, family
relationships and I talk about bonding through the lens of the principle self government. In this
video, I'm talking about irreplaceable fathers.
Fathers totally are irreplaceable. In this video,
we're going to talk about the impact that fathers have on their families and their societies,
and how we can help protect the role of Father. I would not be who I am today without my dad, my dad
was a public speaker. He was a debate coach, he was a drama teacher, and a play director. And he
put me on a stage from the time I was very young, he also was a very wise person, very logical,
no nonsense. And so he would tell me things like Nicholeen, if you don't want your brother to tease
you, then don't show him it works, easy. You know, of course, he would tell my brother Don't
tease her but he would say to me, Listen, if it works, he's gonna keep doing it, it can't work,
you have to decide it doesn't work for you. Oh, I can make that decision. Thanks, Dad. You know,
things like that, that were so wise. It does frustrate me that nowadays society,
especially in the media, and Hollywood, that the fathers are portrayed as bumbling idiots who don't
know anything, this worries me actually, because what is going to happen to our boys? What are they
going to aspire to to be the next bumbling idiot gamer who's addicted to sports or whatever it is,
but doesn't really care about his family, because he's just gonna hang out with his buddies? That's
how the media portrays fathers. But that's not what fathers are. Fathers are so much more than
the things that they do, even the things that they say. It's who they are in the lives of our
children. That is so incredibly powerful. So years ago, I wrote a book and the book was
called Parenting A House United, it's actually a best seller. And people usually know me for this
book and my course and stuff that's based on this book. So when I wrote this book, I thought that
people understood roles. Meaning who they were in their families. But then people started asking
me questions. Questions like, well, what if my husband doesn't really care about the parenting?
What if he thinks that's all my job? What if my child won't talk to us? Or doesn't care if we tell
them to or not to do something? And I would say to them, well, that's a roles issue. And I assumed
everyone understood roles. But when I would say that's a roles issue, they would look at me as if
I had just spoken a different language. Well, what does that mean? Roles issue, right. So I ended
up writing this book called Roles: The Secret to Family Business and Social Success. In this book,
there's a family. They're called the Justice family, and they have multiple children and the children
and the parents are all struggling with their roles in the family dynamic. And because of that,
there's a lot of contention, and frustration, people aren't helping out like they should,
there's a lot of media addiction, stuff like that, that are getting in the way of life.
But when the family figures out what their roles are, and how to implement them in their family,
then their family dynamic changes. The difference between function and dysfunction in a family is
if the people know who they are. I'm gonna say that again, because it's really important. The
difference between function and dysfunction in a family is if the people know who they really are.
You see our behavior changes when we know who we really are. So what is going to happen to
our boys, if they have the wrong impression of what it means to be a daddy? What are they going
to think they are or who are they going to think they are. Their full identities will be damaged,
they will start looking at the world through the lens of selfish desires instead of duty and roles.
Duty and roles keep us all selfless, caring, serving, doing more than we normally would do.
And those are the things that keeps families strong, and society strong. So as you can see,
the role of father truly is irreplaceable. Nobody can take his place in the family. I know sometimes
circumstances are less than perfect. Maybe Dad isn't around, or maybe he's passed away, whatever
it is. And so parents have to make do trying to help the child fulfill all of the needs that they
have, even if dad isn't in the picture. But we cannot deny the ideal thing as if dad is
in the picture. There have been so many studies done now in the social science realm that show
that children who are raised by an intact family meaning both mother and father, in
their lives working together have greater gains, both academically, socially, legally, everything.
They're less likely to do drugs, they're less likely to get locked up. They're less likely
to have teen pregnancy, they're less likely to do all of these things if they have mommy and daddy
together in their lives. Now again, I know that not everybody has the perfect situation. In fact,
there's a lot of situations that aren't. But we can't forget that we are shooting toward that,
and try to simulate it the very best we can. We also need to make sure our children know that
that is the goal. The goal is that their children would have a daddy who's involved, even if their
daddy happened to not be involved, you've got to talk about the roles with your children,
how roles should be in a family, even if it's less than perfect in your family, so that they have a
greater chance of success. A child's identity is built upon both parents understanding and
knowing their identities as mother and father and living in a way that they show they love who they
are as mother and father. So when children are raised by people who embrace their fatherhood,
and embrace their motherhood, then they end up embracing their childhood. They get a feeling of
belonging and security. Many people are concerned with building childhood confidence. And they think
that if they just build a child up and tell them, they did great things that somehow that
will build a child's confidence. But those aren't key factors in building a child's confidence. A
child's confidence comes from knowing who they are and what they are able to accomplish. So
when a child works hard, alongside mom and dad, they understand I'm a hard working person who
has people that I work with that love me. And then they become confident. It's the training
and teaching and spending time with a child and showing them how important they are to you that
actually builds that really good self image that we want our children to have. So what
does daddy do? Daddy builds self image in his children, daddy also works hard for his family,
hopefully. And if he works hard for his family, that he shows his children, then he is willing
to inconvenience himself because family is that important. He gives them that picture that what
they want in life is to work hard like him, so that they can take care of their future families,
he doesn't just scroll and surf and click and do nothing and be lazy, because if he does that,
then he gives that message to them, too. What a lot of people don't understand is that by the
time a child hits about 11, or 12 years old, they look to daddy for what they want to turn out like.
And if daddy understood this, he'd probably make a few more decisions that were deliberate if he
understood the role and the impact that he would have in his child's persona for their own lives.
The child sees that's the meaning of life, that's the good life or that's how you relate to the
world. So if the dad uses lots of bad language, and he's lazy and is unkind to other people,
then soon the children start to do the same thing. They may even turn on mom, if dad does that
teaching a child to love father. Teaching a child the importance of father, and having a father that
loves mom actually makes it so that the child has a full well rounded view of what a family should
be like, and they have the greatest chance for success in a family. We're going to talk about
daddy's role on society at large as well as what we can do to strengthen fathers and their role in
society. But before we do, click the subscribe button now. There are so many great videos
that will help mothers, fathers and children bond together through the principle of self government
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Now. So how does daddy impact society? Well, father's impact on society is irreplaceable,
too. We've been trying to diminish that importance over time as we've been trying to elevate, you
know, mothers into the workforce and I don't know why that's an elevation because that suggests that
being a mother is not good enough. My goodness, being a mother after all the things all the books,
all the speeches, all the talks of the UN, the World Congress, in Congress, to legislators,
all the high profile business meetings, all the things I've done, all the travels, the number one
most important thing, my greatest thing I ever did ever was be a mother. And so if we have daddy
taking care of mother publicly by going out into the workforce, so that she can raise her children
that shows everybody how important mother is that shows everybody how important women are
and children. Dad gives that message to everybody, as he works hard, and he serves. It's incredible.
He has no idea he's sending that message to his children, but to the whole of society. And so if
we don't open the door for daddy to have his place in society, then we're going to have a problem,
right. Fathers have to be honored. In fact, there's been a great movement in recent years
where fathers have really tried to step up in the lives of they're children, be more involved, play
with their children, teach their children, be more involved in their school and activities. And that
has been a very positive movement. In fact, we've seen a lot of children bonding to their fathers,
more so than they did in previous generations. So that's fantastic. We've got to keep that up.
Because what father gives to society is this sense of security. Father takes care of the people,
Father slays the dragon, conquers the beast every day, as he conquers the elements and the
world of work to provide for the family. He shows everyone what is possible, whether he
has big muscles or not, he shows his bravery, his dedication, he protects and serves that family.
Also, if father maintains values, if he maintains morals, principles, and strong beliefs, then he
will lead his children back to sources of truths. And principle again, and again. If father loves
God, His children will love God. If father loves mother, his children will love mother, especially
if he shows it, right. He's got to really show it. And so as father deliberately steps up in society,
and shows that he's proud of being a father, and he loves the work he gets to do, then the
children get to see the full picture of family, and the beauty and the symmetry of mother and
father working together so that the children have the best chance possible. Fathers truly do change
society. So what do we do to strengthen fathers? We must talk good about them, we must strengthen
them, we must honor them, they give up a lot of the good stuff to be away, and they give it to
mother so mother must honor father, so that the children know to look to him as an example. She
can turn their hearts toward him. It's important that she gives them that example by showing her
love toward him and her affection toward him because affection means something to children,
they follow that line of affection wherever mother's affection goes, that's where the
children's heart goes to. So we must drink that. And I really would like to call upon Hollywood and
the media to change the way they portray fathers. It's shameful. Why would we be giving boys the
idea that they should behave in such selfish and unintelligent ways when they have so much more
potential? If we're worried about our women and our girls, then we should be worried about how
we're portraying men in society. Instead of just being selfish and passion driven, you know, people
we need to show them as logical, powerful, duty driven people that they are, they truly are heroes
for their children just like the mothers are, and we need to make sure that we hold them to that
in society. If you've enjoyed this video, then there is another video I know that you'll enjoy,
which is all about improving the relationship in your home and family. This video is called
the not so known secret for parenting success. And it talks about key skills and principles that you
can teach to your children so that they can learn self government and so that you can more calmly
communicate with your children too. So click on the link to the not so known secret for parenting
success now. I'll see you there.