- Hello, lovely people, and welcome back to our channel.
Well--
- Your channel, yeah. - It's my channel.
And then when I want to do fun gay things,
I bring you along.
Now the last video that we did together
was deep and personal and real
and a bit of a downer. - Was it?
Which one was that?
- In Rome when I was like feeling really--
- Oh, no, you were a downer, I was okay.
- Yeah, fair, okay.
But I thought we'd do something fun,
and when this impossible would you rather challenge
for lesbians went 'round our friends, I was like,
let's make a video!
So this is a BuzzFeed quiz.
Love a BuzzFeed quiz.
- I love a quiz.
- I'll leave the link down in the description,
so that you too can take this quiz,
even if you're not a lesbian.
- Sorry, I can't stop looking at your eyebrows.
- I just had my eyebrows microbladed today. (laughing)
Do they look really red?
- No.
- Anyway, I'm really excited 'cause tomorrow,
for the first time in years,
I'm going to wake up with eyebrows.
- Oh my god.
I'm gonna be like who are you?
Get outta my bed!
No, I won't.
- Question one, would you rather
never cut your fingernails again,
or have a permanently sprained wrist
on your dominant hand?
- Oh, well, I don't--
- Whether you have an aversion to finger nails.
- I don't ever cut my nails, my fingernails,
because I still have a really bad habit
of biting/picking them.
You don't really see me do it.
I don't know when I do it. - No, I'm not sure
when you do it.
- Maybe actually-- - She doesn't cut them,
but they never grow.
- Maybe I don't actually do it.
Maybe they just don't grow.
- Are you all right?
Maybe you're a zombie.
Oh, no, zombie fingernails grow, don't they?
- Do they?
- Nevermind.
I hate the idea of never cutting your fingernails,
and they go loopy and gross. - Oh, wait, what was it?
- So I think I'll just live with the--
- Oh, never cut my finger nails again?
Oh, I thought it was like,
oh, well, yeah, no, I answered it
because I don't need to, yeah.
(laughing)
- So you'll choose the never cut
my fingernails again option. - Yeah, because also--
- Because apparently you'll be fine.
- Also you could bite them, or pick them.
- I think cut means never--
- No it doesn't, it's not what they're saying.
I'd rather just bite my nails like I already do than--
- Permanently sprained wrist.
- Yeah. - I mean--
- And which wrist is it, is it my dominant?
I mean, I need both my hands.
- It literally says
have a permanent sprained wrist
on your dominant hand.
- It says cut nails rather than--
It doesn't say - Oh my God.
We're spending too much time on this one.
She's now going to tell you
about how she's ambidextrous,
so she'll be fine.
- Let's move on to the next question.
It was meant to be fun.
- Would you rather date someone
with the same name as you
or date someone who looks eerily similar to you?
- Eerily similar, I think I'd rather
date someone with the same name.
- Yes.
- Because if it was eerily,
then that's a bit like you've
already answered your own question.
- (laughing) Like every time you walk in somewhere,
people go twins, wow.
And you're like--
- Yeah, and we already get asked if we're sisters.
- No, we make out.
Yeah, I agree, same name.
Same name, less weird.
Would you rather--
- Because we could just be like Jessie, Jess.
Jessica and Jess, there's already--
- Jessie and Jessica, it works.
- Yeah, I mean, there's already Rose and Rosie.
- Claud and Claudia.
Yeah, Rose and Rosie make it work.
So we could do it, it'd be fine.
- I mean, I don't know, some people think we look the same.
People at passport control-- - Oh my god.
- Never know which passport to hand us back.
They're like thank you. - I don't know how.
Would you rather have a totally perfect gaydar
or have the magical ability
to never fall for a straight girl?
- Oh, I'd much rather have a totally perfect gaydar.
- Yeah, so you knew everyone's sexual preference.
- Also, it's just stupid.
It's the same thing.
Do you want a gaydar or do you never
want to go for a straight girl again?
- I think it means that you'd
never fall for a straight girl.
Because you could know she was a straight girl
but still fall for her if you had a great gaydar.
- I see what you mean.
Because does it really matter
if you have a good gaydar or not,
whereas if you fall for, yeah.
I don't know, I think there's some kind of virtue,
is that the right word?
In falling for a straight girl that you can never have.
You have to learn to--
- Oh, yeah, it's a rite of passage for lesbians.
- Yeah, and also, it's not love.
You realize it's not love. - We've all been there.
- It's like you're loving a fantasy that will never happen,
and that can still happen
with a gay person because they might not be
who you think they are meant to be.
So it's all just a learning curve of love.
- Everything is a learning curve.
Would you rather have Ellen DeGeneres
elected US president
or have Ellen Page become US president?
- I think Ellen DeGeneres
because it plays would just be
full of sunshine and rainbows and happiness,
and if there was any sort of too much seriousness,
I think she would just deal with it with humor.
- Sure.
- Whereas I think Ellen Page could be
maybe a bit too serious.
- I think Ellen Page
because I believe she'd be more radical.
- Whoa.
- That's what you want.
A president who changes things.
- Oh, well, I mean, that's true.
- Would you rather be at a lesbian bar
with only couples
or be at a lesbian bar
with only closeted ladies?
Spend our lives in lesbian bars with only couples.
- Why would they be at a lesbian bar if they're closeted?
- Well, I don't know!
- Why would the whole lesbian bar
be filled with closeted-- (laughing)
Then they're not closeted ladies!
- It's a fake straight night!
- Well, I'd rather be at a lesbian bar
with only closeted ladies if they were willing to be
- Uncloseted. - Well, not uncloseted,
but if they were up for a nice time.
- Yeah.
- I mean, obviously this is when I was single.
- No, it's all right, I understand.
- But obviously now--
- You're not hypothetically cheating on me.
- Now that I'm married, obviously I'd rather be at a lesbian
bar with only couples.
- Correct answer!
Would you rather have to be BFFs with your ex
or have to be BFFs with your ex's new girlfriend?
(crickets chirping)
- Well, is it actually, is this a theoretical question?
- I think it's a theoretical girlfriend,
not our actual exes.
- Okay, well, I don't know.
- We didn't do the lesbian thing
where you stay best friends with your ex.
- But then why are we using theoretical?
Maybe we should use our actual exes.
- Oh. Okay, sorry, our actual exes.
- Then I'd rather be best friends with her friend.
- With her girlfriend, fair enough.
I feel like mine may have married a man by now.
Not sure. - What?
Oh no, what if she's watching and she hasn't?
- Oh, I'm really sorry.
- Well, I mean, to be fair,
I just told mine that I'd rather be friends with her friend.
Maybe we should cut this bit out.
- I think she knows, (laughing) it's okay.
BFFs with the ex's new girlfriend
because she could be great.
And I have nothing against her.
- I think there's a reason if you're not BFFs.
We're not even friends, let alone BFFs.
We were exes.
So we're clearly just
going to be friends with their girlfriends.
- Would you rather never have to deal with a period
ever again or get pregnant with your partner
without any medical procedures or you know, dudes.
Yeah, and I would have no periods.
- What was the other option, though?
All I heard was pregnant and I was like yeah.
I really don't even mind periods, they're fine.
- Okay, well, I get terrible migraines
and can't carry a baby, so.
- Well, you can have option one and I'll have option two.
- I think that's an excellent life.
Go us!
Would you rather have a lady date
with the US Women's National Soccer Team
or a lady date with the cast of Orange is the New Black?
What's a lady date?
Is that where you're friends
or is it a date but for lesbians?
Shouldn't I know this as a lesbian?
- I was like, it's a bit intimidating,
like the whole cast and the whole soccer team.
- There's only two of us.
- I think personally, the cast of Orange is the New Black.
- Yeah, same.
- Because we watched that and we'd feel more--
- I would know who they were.
I'm afraid I don't know who the soccer team are.
Oh, wait, was that the one with that Megan girl?
- Ellen White?
- We're so sorry, we're so sorry!
We're bad lesbians.
Would you rather erase the term scissoring
from the world's vocabulary
or have all lady porn be directed by ladies?
I'm really enjoying the overuse
of the word lady in this quiz.
- Just have all lady porn directed by ladies.
But it would have to be ladies who know what they're doing.
- That's true, just because they're ladies
doesn't mean they understand lesbians.
- Yeah, they could be like,
oh, I did a porno with another girl.
I know how to do it.
And they have no idea.
And they just mimic what they got told by a man.
- That's so sad.
Also, I don't really care about the word scissoring.
Yes, it's annoying when people bring it up,
and yes, it's annoying when they ask how it works.
And no, I don't know.
- I keep doing this because I'm really tired.
- Oh, bubba, we're very close. - And also,
I really hate my hair tonight.
I need to wash it and look at my eyes!
They're sunken into my head.
- Would you rather have Xena Warrior Princess
come back or have Buffy the Vampire Slayer come back?
- Sorry, I've got to tie up my hair.
You know what, I actually would prefer Xena obviously.
I mean, she's a warrior princess in a really cool outfit.
Buffy just wears teenager clothes.
- Buffy ages through the series.
And no, her fashion doesn't necessarily improve.
- Also, Buffy is the worst character
out of the whole Buffy series.
- That-- - She is!
She's really irritating.
- Is so not true!
I mean, Wesley exists.
- Well, okay, I mean, there's a few exceptions.
But she is quite annoying.
- Dawn gets really annoying.
No, she starts really annoying.
She's just really annoying.
Buffy has good moments.
- I like Giles.
- And his real name is Rupert.
It's Rupert Giles, I like the name Rupert, so.
Would you rather have everyone
constantly confuse your girlfriend for your sister?
Can't relate.
Or have everyone constantly confuse your girlfriend
for your best friend?
- I'd rather a best friend because that's kinda true.
We are best friends.
- Oh, yeah, I mean, we are best friends.
- It's like yeah, we're best friends who have sex!
- Yay, and pledge to live together
in holy matrimony forever.
- Yeah, whereas if everybody were like,
yeah, they're sisters that have sex!
It's a bit--
(laughing)
- Okay!
I mean, people do often ask us if we're sisters.
And it's very annoying for me.
So I'm gonna say best friend because it's true.
- Well, that's what I said.
- Would you rather come out of the closet
with a parade through your hometown
or with a speech on national television?
- Oh my God, is the parade just for you?
- It's just your hometown, it's just for you.
It's just a parade about you coming out.
- It's not like you came out around
Brighton Pride time and just joined in.
- No, not like there was a parade happening
and then you leapt in and went I'm gay, whoo, walk on.
There's a banner that says Claudia is out!
Everyone's wearing t-shirts with your face on.
There's perhaps a blow-up balloon version
of you that people are running through the streets
and everyone's throwing confetti.
- Yeah, well, I think I have my answer.
- Yeah? - National TV.
Because, I will tell you why.
Your whole think of this scenario
with the parade freaked me out.
Because it's like face to face people.
- Yeah, you don't go to that.
- And I don't like to be smiling and oh yes, overwhelming.
Whereas you can do it to a camera piece.
You could be in a room, on your own, almost,
or just a camera crew.
You say your piece. - You could!
- You maybe go oh, you bluffed that one.
Get to do it again.
- Yeah, they edit it.
- Edit it, make it really, have some epic music behind it.
And then it goes out, and then when it goes out,
it's out of your control
and then you don't have to be directly
in line of people's responses
so then people have time to think about it
and then come talk to you.
- Interesting, this is very true.
This is why Claudia talks a lot more in videos
than she does in real life.
Because you can't answer back.
- Yeah, that's true.
- I would like a parade.
- We are yin and yang.
- Ah, so good for each other.
Would you rather forever have Tegan and Sara's hairstyles
or always be rocking Cameron Esposito's lady mullet?
- [Claudia] I mean, they're literally the same hairstyles.
- [Jessica] No, she's got a mullet.
It's like a mullety bit on one side.
- But they both have this sweeping fringey thing.
The only difference is that Cameron Esposito has a long bit.
Do we have to?
- I don't want to, we're skipping this question.
- Well, maybe because we have to do it together,
we can be Tug and Tegan. (laughing)
We can be Targen.
We can be Tegan and Sara, sorry.
- Tegan and yeah, them, those ones.
Yeah, yeah, and then everyone
will really be like are you sisters?
Yeah, sure.
Would you rather live in a world
where being gay was the norm
or keep things the way they are now
and keep on being a badass unique, unique badass.
Oh, I'm so sorry, I did it again.
- Badass.
Yeah, I was trying to tell Jessica
this morning that it's ass, badass.
Otherwise you're just a bum.
- A badass is a person who's cool.
But a bad ass is just flat.
- No, I think, I don't know.
I think I'd rather it, does it just flipped the norm?
- Yeah, I mean, does it mean that percentage wise
the heterosexual percentage
is now the homosexual percentage?
Is that what it means?
- Do we have memory of the time
when before it was not the norm?
- Perhaps we would not.
Because otherwise how could you continue?
- Because I was thinking
if it was like we have the history and memory
of it flipping and it was reversed,
then I'd say I want it to be the norm
because hopefully then, the gay majority,
assuming that we're the majority,
would be less discriminating against other sexualities.
- Yes because they remember their own pain.
- Yeah, exactly.
- I don't know, I think it would be,
I'm happy either way, I'm happy with my life.
I mean, I'd like there to be no oppression
of gay people at all.
And by gay people, I mean people who are not just
heterosexual obviously.
So bisexual people and pansexual people, asexual people.
- I just said different sexualities.
- Group everyone.
- That was so much easier.
- That was so much easier, yeah.
I'm so sorry, oh my God.
- And I was basically saying the same thing as you
but I just said in a different way.
I mean, sometimes it has its perks.
I do quite like walking into a room
and I'm like yeah, this is my wife.
And I can tell people turn their heads
and are like oh, look, lesbians.
You know, it's quite cool.
I feel like little celebrities.
Don't you think?
It's a bit like, yeah, we're proud of who we are.
You know, that is quite nice.
- Yeah, whatever.
- We are badasses.
(laughing)
- So we've reached the end of the quiz.
- All right, what's the answer?
- There was no answer.
- What? - I know.
- What is this pointless quiz?
What, have you not--
- I really thought that there would be.
- What? - No, sorry.
- Aw, I thought it was gonna tell me
sorry, you're not gay or yes, you are gay.
- You're wearing a blazer.
- I'm wearing a blazer. (laughing)
Yeah.
- You're wearing a blazer
with liberation female on your t-shirt.
So what have we learnt from this quiz?
- Nothing!
(laughing)
- Absolutely nothing.
- That I'm tired and have very thin patience
after a long day at work.
- Thank you so much for watching!
I hope you've enjoyed this episode
of Lesbian Would You Rather with Jessie and Claud.
You can follow us on Instagram,
and if you've enjoyed this video
and you'd like to see more,
you can subscribe to this channel
because I put out videos twice a week.
Sometimes they have Claudia in them.
I love you. - I love you.
Bye! - Bye!
(bright jazz music)