• From peeing in someone’s picnic basket to being naked in public, the Planet Dolan
crew re-enact some of the best true stories from our subreddit about the most embarrassing
things we’ve ever done as kids.
I’m DD’s Brother – or – Pringle and today I’ll be your narrator.
Number 10 was submitted by iPon3time Dolan When Dolan was in 4th grade, he decided to
wear white pants to school one day.
But on that day, it happened to be raining.
As everyone was getting off the bus to enter the building, Dolan slipped on the top step
and slid down.
It was about a half hour later when someone pointed out the huge mud stain on the back
of Dolan’s pants that made it look like he had a bit of an accident.
Needless to say, he never wore white pants again.
Number 9 was submitted by sliderturtle123 GhostToast
When GhostToast was younger, him and his mom were in the grocery store.
They were waiting in the checkout line behind a rather large woman.
While she was taking her stuff out of the cart, the woman’s pager went off and made
a loud beeping noise.
GhostToast yelled out, "Watch out mom!
She’s backing up!" in reference to the loud beeping noises that big trucks make to warn
passerby.
Another time, GhostToast and his mom were in the grocery store checkout line behind
a rather large woman.
He yelled out, "Look mom!
That lady is really fat!", pointing at the woman all the while.
This is why GhostToast and his mom aren’t allowed in that grocery store for a very long
time.
Number 8 was submitted by KratzersBrat83 Melissa When Melissa was 6 years old, she had to pee
really bad.
Since she was locked out of her house at the time, she decided to go pee under the tree.
Melissa figured if boys can do it, so can girls.
The only bad thing is that the busybody old lady that lives in every neighborhood happened
to walk by just as Melissa dropped her panties.
Just as the stream was about to start flowing, she heard screaming behind her.
“Young lady, what are you doing?!
Little girls don't do that!
Only boys pee outside!”
So Melissa looked around in sheer terror while pulling up her panties, trying not to pee
herself…
both out of need and out of fright.
She then took off running.
Trying to run from the lady was not like trying to run from a new age zombie.
No matter how fast you run, she's still going to catch up to you.
Melissa lived on the second floor and knew that her balcony door was open, so she attempted
to climb up the first story fence and get her little happy butt into her apartment.
Unfortunately, the little bitty was able to catch up with her before then, so Melissa
tried to hide behind the fence...
only to have her neighbor rat her out.
So here was Melissa, 6 years old, having to pee like no tomorrow, and this little old
lady is chewing her ass out like she just started World War 3.
Melissa is in her thirties now and is still afraid to pee outside.
Number 7 was submitted by TheOrangeFedora Tolop
This happened when Tolop was young, too young to remember directly, but still old enough
to talk and walk.
He was in a church pew during a weekly mass and got a great urge to pee.
So, being the kid he was, Tolop dropped his pants, grabbed his dangle, ran through the
church's main walkway, through a side door, into the social hall, and then to the bathroom.
During that whole scene, he yelled; "I gotta go!
I gotta go!"
Number 6 was submitted by Tentanips Gooby According to her family, Gooby was a really
sassy kid with no filter.
The story her father loves to regale is when Gooby was about 5 years old, freshly in the
first grade.
They were at a Chinese food restaurant drive-thru getting the food they ordered, when Gooby
popped up and said, "Ching, Ching, Chong, Ching."
Her father immediately apologized to the workers, saying, "I'm so sorry, she is only in the
first grade.
She does not know," then Gooby interrupted, "Daaaad, why are you sorry?
That's how they talk."
Gooby believes karma will one day bless her with a child who will do the exact same thing.
On that day, she will finally accept that child as her own.
Number 5 was submitted by TheBurningSpyCrab Slapped Ham
When Slapped Ham was 4 years old, he had to do simple math homework, like take aways.
When he asked his mom if she would help, his mom told him to call somebody.
She meant for Slapped Ham to call a friend or relative, but she didn't specifically say
who.
So, Slapped Ham called the only number that he had memorized on his home phone...
9-1-1.
A male operator responded and awkwardly helped him with one or two math problems, until his
mother realized he was talking to the police.
She told Slapped Ham to hang up, which he responded, "But you said if I needed help,
that I should call someone!"
and she responded with, "I didn't mean the police!"
Slapped Ham then hung up and his mother helped him for the rest of the night.
She still tells this story at family reunions and his relatives laugh every time.
Number 4 was submitted by MettaGlamourBot Doopie
When Doopie was about 7, she and her mom were watching a show.
Doopie was into poetry, and she was trying to come up with something.
Her mom had been in a really bad mood all day, so when she came up with something she
walked up to her mom and loudly announced, "You're a grumpy gut, and a slumpy slut!"
Doopie didn't even know slut was a word, much less what it meant.
You can only imagine how that went...
Doopie only said slut because it rhymed with gut.
God she was stupid...
Number 3 was submitted by E_I_G Hellbent Hellbent was at the mall with his mom and
two younger brothers.
That day, he was going commando.
A group of cute girls were walking towards them, and Hellbent’s youngest brother decided
to de-pants him in the middle of the mall.
Hellbent was so embarrassed his face instantly turned red.
He pulled up his pants, then ran to the nearest restroom and punched his brother until he
cried.
That was the last time he ever went commando.
Number 2 was submitted by deathmech35 Nixxiom Nixxiom was in Spain when he was about 2 years
old.
He was at the beach with his mom and grandma, and right as he came out of the water the
lady next to them went in.
When Nixxiom came out of the water, he really had to pee and the lady next to them left
her picnic basket open.
He thought it was a toilet and peed in it.
It covered all her sandwiches and, when she came back, she wondered why her sandwiches
were soggy and smelled bad.
Nixxiom’s family didn't see him do it.
Cid: Number 1 was submitted by Pringle himself!
Back over to you Pringle
Huge thanks for the folks over on our Planet Dolan subreddit for submitting their stories.
We have another question for you: “What was the strangest thing you ever saw happen
at your school?”
Let us know in the reddit page linked below and you might be featured
in a future countdown.