- Yeah, I'm so fond of the whole Indian American story
in this country.
I'm fond of my family's story
and that story really started
when dad got an arranged marriage with mom in India.
My name is Ravi Patel.
I'm an actor and filmmaker,
probably most well known
for making a documentary about my family
called, "Meet the Patels."
My dad, it really was that situation
where he came with like $8 in his pocket.
He placed in the top 1% of his high school
and he was admitted to a college in America.
Mom showed up here with a picture of my dad
because she was afraid
she wouldn't remember his face.
(phone dials)
- [Ravi's Mom] (foreign language spoken)
- Question.
When you landed, in, it was your 19th birthday?
- Yes.
- What was the date?
How many people, where are you?
Are you at like a party?
- No, I'm playing cards.
- Talk about success.
Okay, so tell me, so you, what was the day you landed?
- The day I landed was I think, June 1st, 1973.
Okay, now do you want to talk to dad?
- He's probably in the middle of his game, right?
- Can he call you later (indistinct)?
- Yeah, he can call me later.
We can pick this up. - Okay, bye.
- (foreign language)
I love you, bye.
Her 19th birthday was the day after she landed
in this country.
One of the stories that my mom and dad told me
in the first few weeks of mom living in this apartment
in Chicago with this stranger that was now
gonna be her life partner.
He would go off to work
and during that time
mom would try to find things to do.
She'd obviously do a lot of cooking, which she still does.
She always loves telling me how there was like,
all these giant Folgers tins
and that's where she kept all the Indian food and spices
and she had her like Indian outfit on
and she had her towel on her head,
which is how she dried her hair
and part of her daily routine was
she had to go check the mail.
So, she goes to check the mail
and the door closes behind her.
It was one of those doors that locks once it closes
so, mom realizes it's locked.
Mom doesn't know what to do.
She doesn't know anyone.
She's freaking out, terrified.
She's just kinda like looking around.
She sees a phone.
It's like a red phone
so, she goes, she picks up the phone.
She's crying.
She's looking at the phone.
Someone's on the phone.
Is it a person saying hello?
She's like, hello?
And the person saying hello?
And she's like, hello.
Anyway, that conversation didn't work out.
She just hangs up and moves on
so, she just goes knocking on all the neighbor's doors
and she knocks on one of the neighbor's doors.
Her name is Linda.
They remember that
and mom is, she doesn't speak English,
so, that she goes me, key,
me,
key,
and Linda is okay, like what, what,
Linda doesn't know what to do.
Linda Linda, doesn't like, I don't have a key.
I'm not, you know, I'm not the sup,
isn't that what they called them back then, the sup?
So, mom is crying.
Linda's confused.
Do you want to come in and use my phone
and she goes, ah yes.
God, I imagine that must've been weird for her
walking into an American's place.
In American homes, generally back then,
I felt like every American's home smelled like beef.
Anyway, mom goes into Linda's house.
She uses the phone, she calls the custodian.
What did I, what is it called?
The landlord, the sup, the sup
and that guy shows up.
You know, he's got all the keys, you've seen him
so, he comes up, unlocks, lets her in
and that's that.
Well, in our, in our culture, whenever you have a guest
it's customary to walk them out and just,
you know, you're just waving and you're saying, bye
and so, mom walks him out.
She's waving bye.
All of a sudden you hear a little click.
That's her door.
She's now locked herself out, once again.
She calls after the guy.
Oh I, mm,
oh, ah, ah, just noises like this, I assume.
But, barely he's upset at this time.
Mom was talking about how he called her a little lady,
which seems really mean.
He goes, little lady,
you here,
door here.
You hear door here.
No here.
Mom understands this.
This is pretty standard
and he leaves.
Mom goes on with her day.
A few minutes later, dad comes home from work
and you know, good, glad you're in.
You know, let's make sure we remember to use the key
from now on.
Take that with you when you leave.
At this point,
a bunch of commotion is happening outside.
Mom's like, what's that?
What is all that noise outside?
There's so much happening out there.
There's ambulances, policemen
and my dad goes, oh, like someone used the emergency phone.
There's like a red phone out there that you call
if there's any sort of, you know, crisis
so, they're trying to figure out what's going on
and mom goes, oh.
(Ravi laughs)
I mean, look, I love my family.
What I've noticed about telling stories
about my family is that it brings me closer to my family.
I ask my parents questions that I never even thought to ask.
The older they get, the more human they become.
They're not just our parents.
They become our friends.
It's this beautiful symbiotic relationship that
brings up new opportunities to learn
about their experience,
so much because I also want to hopefully do it
as well as they did.
I'm pretty good about my keys,
but you know, I guess, you know they say,
they say you like, every guy wants to marry their mother.
Well, um,
my wife is losing her keys
almost every day and I look for them
so, in a small way,
we're still carrying on that tradition.