Hi! In this video we're going to talk about How To Attract a Man by Being Yourself.
As always, I'm Mat Shaffer, your empowerment connection and relationship coach, and I'm here with my dear friend, my dear friend and rock
star, Francis. Number one dating coach. Mr. Alex korma, Alex, how you doing, man?
I'm doing good. Thanks so much, Matt. Hi, hey, we went out and we say he's fine today.
I we're so excited to have you man. I love your channel. I love the work that you're up to in the world. You have such an incredible international
audience. And I'm excited to introduce you to my tribe, and talk about really how to activate and attract a man just by this by being your unique,
radiant, powerful self. And I know you're going to share some really powerful strategies on that. But before we do, guys, take a second if you
haven't already, hit that little link and hit that subscribe button. Click the link in the comments and captions so that you can get access
to all the great content and I'm always putting up every day Week, tell us a little bit about yourself and where you want to go with this
conversation today.
Sure. So as you know, my name is Alex Cormont. I'm a relationship expert from France. So I know have a strong French accent. I have coached more
than 50,000 people, men and women from all over the world. And my goal is you know, to make sure that you can trust yourself that you can employ
yourself to be yourself with the guy that you really like. Because since 2007, I received a lot this question, what can I do to attract him and
most of the time ladies are just looking for some solution that are external solution not coming from their inner self, which is a mistake,
because then you will always try to find some solution that are not linked to your personality. And I found it that it was not useful because one
day you will wake up with this man or you will fall into the codependency. Always ask yourself What can I do for him and forgetting about your
own personal So this is why I feel like that the today's subject is very important to trust your own personality when we like someone, because,
you know, I've got so many women and I know that when it's someone that don't feel like they don't care, so they are 100% themselves, and this guy
is crazy about them. But ladies, when you like a guy, you will lose yourself, you will lose confidence and you will try to learn about
techniques and tactics. But most of the time, it's really loving who you are. So this is today's subject, I hope you will like it.
Absolutely. And I love I love that set of hours because yeah, I find that so often, you know, not just not just women, but men too. Like we want
to. We want to be liked so much by the person that we're with that we find ourselves pressing and contorting, and I like to say collapsing our
frame into there. It's just agreeing with whatever it is that they like and that they want and that's not building value in the eyes of Have
a potential partner, right? If I don't feel like the woman that I'm with is unapologetically owning who she is to me. Then I'm like, I don't
know if I can really trust this person. You know what I'm saying? Like part of learning to trust somebody is getting a sense that they're showing
up authentically, to me. So I'm excited to hear more about this because I think it's a common issue with women trying so hard to be liked, but
then they end up pushing the man away, which that is not what we want.
This is not what we want. And I've learned something special. When we want to attract someone we like. Most of the time, we will ask
ourself, or ladies, you will ask yourself, What does he want. So you will try to respond to his needs. But this is something that will make you
just being common. So you will do common actions and this guy will take you for granted. It will not feel that you're special. And this is very
important for us men, we want to have a special connection. So as Give this example very simple. What is your favorite meal? What do you love? For
me it's an African meal and default to test it, I didn't know that it was my favorite meal. So by being yourself, you will be about to create some
unconscious need from this man, and you will feel new emotions. And I will give you another example. So I told my this when is when we were
off, but I used today to go and she bring me to see an art exposition. And I'm really not an artist. And I was wondering myself, when I'm
doing here, why I'm here. And she told me that oh, you know, I was scared to ask you to come but I want to show you my my life, my environment.
And she teaches me so much things that during this date, she just blow my mind and I told myself Wow, she's amazing. And I realized that
now being a relationship expert, most of the time, we want to do what will please the other person so far? You ladies, you want to please
this men. Instead, your goal is to take something of your personality and show him. So it can be surprised. It can be attracting, and also it will
learn something because of you. So this is really the first thing and the first exercise I want you to do is to grab a paper and a pen and ask
yourself, what can I teach to this guy? How can I create emotions to him? What is important coming from my personality for my personal life? Maybe
you like music? Maybe you like dancing? Whatever you like, this will be your most important quality to attract a man. Does it make sense
Matt?
100% Alex and I love what you said there because I mean, it's sharing. You know, what you're passionate about is demonstrating. You know, not
just that you're passionate about these things, but that you're a passionate person, right? Because man we want to feel that heat. We want to
feel that passion from you. We don't want it we Don't just want to feel that you like all the same things that we like we want to know and
understand and see your truth, which comes from your interests, you know, so and we're open men love to learn about different things, especially
things that we may not be familiar with. It's like So Alex, you went to that art show, and you were initially resistant to doing it, because
it's not your normal activity, right. But then once you got there, and you started experiencing the different art, not only did you have a good
time with this woman, but it sort of opened your mind up to to things that you weren't really open to before and then she got to be the cause of
that. And so think about like how much that can deepen your connection with a man that not only does he see you as this passionate person, but it
also helps him expand himself. And that's that's a powerful that's a big value add, I think in the lives of men, and I've had a lot of those similar
experiences to where a woman drags me. I remember I got dragged once to a to river dance to the you know, the highlight And dancers. I don't want to
go to the Highland dancers like what is this? What is this going to be about? You know, like, and it was one It ended up being one of the by a
woman, right? It ended up being one of the coolest things I have ever experienced in my life. I was this is the most incredible
performance I've ever seen. And I never would have gone to it of my own volition. And I was so grateful for her for dragging me to this thing,
because it ended up being an amazing experience. So don't be afraid ladies, to just like, bring them in into your world and share with them what
it is that you're passionate about. I love it. And
I found that the best way to attract a guy being yourself is to create memories. Every time you will leave something see Matt is remembering his
dense, dense out events. And I was remembering something too. So we remember things that we just experienced for the first time or we feel this
deep connection. Now a quick exercise that you can do is to Ask yourself, what can I bring to this relationship? If I'm in a relationship with
someone, if I can date someone, what can I bring? Why is it so important? It's because it will give you the confidence to make sure that this guy,
you know, you will not fight for him, you will chase him because most of the time the ladies that I'm coaching, are chasing this guy are doing
everything for him, they lose their personality, they lose their self confidence. If you just realize that you can bring some fun, some smile,
some positive energy, some trust, these are very important values for men. So you just have to be yourself if you want to attract him. And by doing
new activities, and by showing your world, I can guarantee you that it can fall in love for you. And not for the someone that you will represent
but you're not yourself which is not a good idea because you will lose time and the twist will not be there which is just very important for men. As
I said,
Yeah, and I love that distinct And Alex ladies. So let's look at the distinction here. It's the distinction between, like making a man like you
by trying to make yourself like him, right trying to be so similar to him that you lose yourself into him. You're not trying to make a man like
you. You're trying to inspire you are working to inspire and activate a man to fall in love with you. So if you want him to fall in love with you,
he needs to have something to fall into. You know what I'm saying? Which means you need to be a fully unapologetic, fully owned, being right so
that he can fall into something if he doesn't know who you are. He can't fall into you. You know what I'm saying? Like don't lose yourself in
him but be fully in ownership of your own self and give him something to aspire and transition into.
Thanks so much, Matt for just rephrasing what I'm saying because I every time I listen to you, I love your advice. I love everything that you're
sharing. And this is exactly my philosophy and I finally That if you want to be yourself with a men, you need also to challenge him, you need to
make sure that you would go on a date that you like. So if he wants to bring you to something that you don't really want to do you have the
right to say, No. Matt, you said something on one of my videos on my YouTube channel where you came in, I interview you. They say men are like a
little boy. And that's true. So if you're always saying yes to men, one day, we will take you for granted. If you don't want to do something, you
have to trust yourself to say no, maybe I would like to do something else. Or maybe we can try to do this activity. So I'm telling you that because
as I said the lady that I'm coach most of the time you're so scared to lose this guy that you lose yourself. And this is there's the worst
actions that I will recommend you. So I want you to set the standard and the bender is so a men as to date you he has to attract you. He has to ask
you to go out for activities that you will like If you don't like them, you don't have to say yes. Which is very important.
Exactly. Yeah. You don't have to say yes. You don't have to, you know, like always agree with everything that be free to challenge him. Men
love a challenge. I actually am releasing a video tomorrow about you know how to make a man feel like a hero, right in your life. And part of what
a man needs to step into his nature as a hero is he needs a challenge. He needs a quest. A man wants to feel that he gets to earn the right to
be in your life. And he gets to earn the right to be you know, to receive your love. And it's very it's very important right to challenge a man. And
remember, you know, when you were little kids on the playground, right? If all men are a little boys, how did man How did men show that they
liked you when they were little? They would tease you, they would challenge you and they would be inviting you to do that back to them. That's at
the essence that's at the core of what it means to flirt, I think is to playfully have a challenging dialogue and dynamic with your
without without A potential partner to build attraction and to build polarity. Right? And polarity exists in that challenge that we make to
each other. So don't be afraid to do that. I think a lot of times Alex, do you do you have women that are afraid to do that, because they're
afraid of being too masculine. You know, they think that if they challenge a guy, it's going to be masculine. You know, I find women a lot of
times become so passive, right in their relationships, because they confuse femininity
with passivity.
And I don't think those are the same things. I mean, some of the most feminine women I know some of those powerful feminine women I know are not
afraid in any way, shape or form to challenge me or to take me on you know, and and so ladies, don't confuse femininity with passivity, chant
being challenging, and pushing back on a guy can actually be very feminine as long as you do it with the right energy.
Yeah, that's very important. And also it's what I want to say is something you know, I just realized, it's not Game, let me tell you that
it's not a game, we are not asking you to play some kind of game to try to get this guy. It's really for you to be 100% yourself. You can be
active and passive, which is you can just ask him to go out for special activities. Tell him Okay, next time, it's your turn, show me what you what
you can bring to the relationship. Show me your life. I want you to surprise me. When you play this little bit of flirty game. It's okay. But
it's not playing a game being losing meaning so losing your personality. This is something very important. And that's why I want to tell you if
you want to attract a guy being yourself, you have to forget about the fact that you like him. You have to tell yourself, I would talk to him
like he's my best friend. Because with your best when you have the right tone of voice, the right attitude, the smile, you don't care about why
what he or she would think you would just be 100% yourself. So I'm not telling you to go to the frenzy. But just by controlling your own voice
and saying everything is okay is like my best friend, you will have the security you will be active but not passive, which is very important
to show your own feminine energy and being this flirty, not game but flirty process. flirting is very important for French people, and also the
people that I'm coaching.
Oh, yeah, absolutely, absolutely, man. And I love what you said there about, you know, like, being being authentic and just being being yourself and
being like, how would I be with how would I be with my friends? And I have a checking question that I use a lot with my clients that I so much
so that I did a video on it. It's anytime you're going on a date, especially and you're on that date, especially with somebody that you really
like, I want you to ask yourself, check in with yourself and ask yourself, you know, would my friends and family recognize who I'm being right
now? Would they recognize my personality? Right? Because because, yeah, like like like because of your friends and family or The people closest to
you, if they wouldn't recognize how you're acting right now, then it's time for you to shift because it means you're trying too hard to please
him or to impress him, and it's going to end up actually backfiring on you almost every single time. And also, it's not sustainable. Don't
pretend that you're somebody else when you're in relationship because you're not going to be able to keep it up long term, you know? And isn't it
disappointing Alex as a man when you start dating somebody and they seem one way for the first month or two or however long and then all of a
sudden they just turn into a different person and you're like, Who is this like this isn't the lady that I that I started getting to know you know,
it's so disappointed as you said, and basically it would just lower your self confidence you will do all this is one is illusion and another one
and another one and I'm trying my best all the time. You're trying your best by pleasing someone else but not yourself. Which is Why I feel that
we are doing this with Matt, I'm a relationship expert, because I want to tell you that you are enough for a man, you just have to trust yourself
by everything that we talked today in this video. And if you realize that you have so much values that you can talk to him like a best friend, you
can create some dates and special activities without being like the FBI, you know, because data is about learning about it shows up and just
being happy and enjoying the present moment. You can do it, you can do it, ladies. If not, as Matt said, you will play a game. And in three months,
four months, five months, it would just realize that you are not on the same point and you're not you don't have the same vision. Oh, like the
worst thing would be you're not the same person. So a breakup, we just destroy your self confidence and it's a pattern. It's a pattern,
and we want to break it today.
Amen. Amen. Alex. I love that and I think you give a ton of great value to the ways of my tribe. And I'm sure a lot of them are wondering
how can they connect with you? How can they learn more about you and everything that you're into? What are the best ways for people, for anyone
who's interested in learning more and following you to connect deeper with you and your work?
Thanks so much for letting me introduce my YouTube channel. It's French relationship expert. It's also my website. So you can follow me, I'm
doing some videos, I have some blog articles. I try my best, you know, to share my knowledge. I also created a training course called How to find
attract and keep them in. So if you really like someone, but you're losing him, I feel that would be a good training for you. And I would just
share the links to you, Matt, so you can go to the community. Absolutely. We'll
put those links down in the description, so be sure to check them out, ladies. And Alex, just thank you so much for stopping by my friend. It's
been so much it's been so much fun. It's been a pleasure. It's great to bring a new face onto my channel and we'll be doing this again real soon.
I'm sure everyone's gonna want to see more things.
Thanks so much for your time. Thanks so much, ladies. I really wish you the best And remember, you are enough. It's something very important.
Amen, brother. I'm right there with you. All right. Thanks so much for coming by my friend. We'll see you soon. All right. See you soon. All
right, bye bye bye, ladies.