-I have a card here that says three things on it.
And one of them may be true and none of them may be true,
do you mind if I read these things.
-Are they things that I said? -Yes.
You said these three things. None of them may be true,
but I think I know one of them must be true.
-This doesn't seem real. -No, it's real.
-Okay. Let's see. -You can't set him up for that.
-Okay well, you've watched the movie "Step Brothers"
more than any other film. Okay? That's number one.
-You want me to sa-- -No, no, that's number one.
-Am I just listening? -Yes.
[ Laughter ]
-This is a listening show. [ Laughs ]
Like, guests, come on and listen to me talk.
-I feel like I'm being hypnotized again.
-Welcome back to an all new boring "Tonight Show."
Alright. Number two -- You love reality TV
and think reality TV stars are the best actors in the world.
[ Laughter ]
Number three, one of your nicknames is kitten.
[ Laughter ]
All right, let me take a guess. I'm gonna circle my answer,
then I'm going to ask the audience,
then I'm going to ask you what your thing is.
[ Mutters ] That, nah, you wouldn't do that.
That? Maybe, possibly, nah. I'd say oh, you said that.
But you were being funny.
This is how, this is the game I play with a you.
With a you.
Uh. Uh. I'm going to say that one.
Audience, is it one?
-Nobody remembers what it was. [ Laughter ]
-It was only 30 seconds ago, what are you talking about?
What do you mean, what number one?
-Can one person remember what the first answer was?
-Alright look -- -"Step Brothers."
-"Step Brothers."
You've seen "Step Brothers" more than any other film?
-You guys listen to him? -Yeah.
-I've never -- Listen.
You've seen "Step Brothers" more than any other film?
-Yeah, okay. -Number two, you love reality TV
and think reality TV stars are the best actors in the world.
Anyone on that one? [ Cheering ]
-Number three, one of your nicknames is kitten.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-So what does that mean? -I circled number three.
One of your nicknames is kitten.
I think I believe that to be true --
-Now, what are you saying that it's true
or that I said these things. -I think that's true.
-But I didn't say it? [ Laughter ]
-The more I think about this, I mean I didn't --
my segment producer set this up for me.
The more I think about it, I don't know
if any of these are true.
But I call you Joaq. -Why?
Well, your name's Joaquin I feel like that's too long for me.
-You can handle it. I feel like you can handle it.
-I save a little energy -You do the Monologue
every night. -Yeah, but I save
a little energy by calling you Joaq, don't have to do the quin.
-Okay. -You know?
-That's a good part. -Hello, Joaq.
-Oh, okay. -You know? And I like guacs.
I like guacs. You know? I like guac.
Hey, guac is extra. That should be the --
That should've been the headline of "Vanity Fair" --
the guac is extra. -Yeah, good.
-Alright. I don't know if any of these are real or true or not.
But, do you know if any of these are true?
-Um, what do you mean true?
That's what I'm trying to understand.
You say did I say these things or are they true or both?
What is the question? -The question is,
are any of these true? -Okay.
Okay, I think that I said -- -No, it's not about you said.
See you're really good. You're honor, you're honor.
He's under oath. -Okay, they're not all true.
-We make you put your hand on a Bible before you come out here.
-They're not all true. -They're not all true, yeah.
But one might be true. [ Laughter ]
And is the one that might be true,
the one that we all think is true.
Is one of your nicknames kitten? [ Laughter ]
-You're feeling very sleepy. -[ Laughing ] Oh, my gaw!
That's ridiculous. -Yeah.
-I don't -- the two of them were --
I was just joking around. -Yeah, I don't "Step brothers,"
I assume you love that movie.
You didn't see it more times than any other film, though,
it's impossible. -I have.
-You really have? -Yeah.
-That's the one? -Yeah, it's true.
-That's the one? -Yeah.
That's good, I like -- I love hearing that.
We got a little fact from Joaquin, who knows if it's real.
But that's cool. [ Laughter ]
I've seen "Peewee's Big Adventure"
more than any other film. -Yeah, that's a great one.
-Yeah it's a classic.
Let's talk about, speaking of classics,
let's talk "Joker." Man, oh, man, you're awesome in this.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-I haven't. -You haven't even seen it yet?
-Yeah. That's what I was gonna say.
-People are excited about it. -Uh-huh.
-You're fantastic in it, it's all you, man.
You're driving this train, car?
What vehicle do you think this movie is.
What type of -- form of transportation.
-[ Laughs ] I'm not sure. -I'm sorry.
so look, so wait, no, I'm sorry.
So you didn't, since you're in the movie. But it really is you.
And then I see you go a little mad in some scenes.
I feel like you've gone nuts in this thing.
You don't pick these roles where it's like --
why don't you just pick a role where you just go to Hawaii
and you're on the beach and you're goofing off
with your buddies?
-It's like every actor's dream part, that's the thing.
-Yeah. -You make it,
and then you do the movie. -You go to Hawaii
and goof off with your buddies for two hours.
-You'd be bored. -You would be bored?
[Bleep] you need to do the laugh and the whole thing
and you're coughing, don't you think?
-You don't need to do all that. -You did it,
and then you did dance.
-Let me see the dance. That was adorable. Show that to me.
Aw! -Dude, you're really,
it's insane. You're fantastic in it.
Basically, to set it up is you are --
it-it-it's there is no, there are no superheroes in this film?
It's just kind of a making of a villain
that's what I would -- if I was a film critic.
It's not that great. Is it off a little bit?
-I mean, you're great in general.
But that wasn't the best. -It wasn't the best thing?
No, it's about how you can beat a human being down.
-But don't tell anyone, it's okay let them just see it.
-Just see the movie? -Or not.
-Or not. You know what the movie's about, kind of, right?
Yeah. So you don't need me. You don't need me.
[ Talking over each other ] -It's cool.
-No, come back, come back. Come on, man.
Oh, no, no, no, no. Come back! Don't do that.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-All right, welcome back.
we got a great guest tonight, Jimmy Fallon.
[ Cheers and applause ] All right, welcome back.
Alright. Sit right here Come on in.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-It is, um. It's so funny.
-I'm reading your text messages of somebody saying heavy.
-Well, I have to lose a little weight.
I'm a little heavy, yeah. But I got it figured out.
You lost weight for this film. -Uh-huh.
-And I read somewhere you said you lost 50 pounds?
-No, 15. Wait did you say 50? -Oh, who cares.
-Five-oh? -Yeah, five-oh.
-No, one-five. 15. -Oh, 15?
-They didn't pay me that much. [ Laughter ]
-Yeah, Well I'm just happy to be here and talk about the film,
"Joker," it was great to get in there and, like, really --
[ Chatter ]
Yeah, yeah, don't worry about it, we'll cut it out Later.
-Don't tell, don't tell them.
I didn't know the microphone was on.
-[ Clears throat ] Getting in there, Todd, I call him T.P.
Todd Phillips. I call him T.P.
And he was kind of cool, because he was like a teepee
to me a little bit, like, he was my home for a long time.
I basically felt like I lived inside of him,
when I was playing Joker. And I'd come out of the teepee.
I was like, "Time to film." [ Laughter ]
I go, all right, "What's for breakfast, daddy?"
[ Laughter ]
-And he would get, "What's for breakfast
is this scene right here, get into it.
And eat it all up." And I did.
I think what you'll see here in this clip is me
taking the script and making it the best I can make it.
And thanks to T.P.'s work and everybody involved in editing,
and the soundtrack and everything.
It turned out pretty well and I hope you enjoy it.