In a moment, I'm going to show you a photo, and I want you to notice the woman who stands
out to you.
Okay?
Here we go.
Which woman stands out to you?
Perhaps, it's this woman.
Or take another look.
Maybe it's this woman over here.
What if there was a way, something you could do that could actually help you stand out
from all the other women out there?
That's what we're going to be talking about in this video right now.
A client of mine sent in a really worthwhile question that I wanted to share with you on
this topic.
She writes, "I'm trying to figure out what my own unique X factor is.
I have a lot of life experiences for a 37-year-old, and I want to be able to bring my uniqueness
into a relationship.
How do I figure out what it is?"
This is a great question.
I love this topic because essentially, the answer is pretty easy.
What makes you unique, what gives you your X factor is you, because you are unique.
There is not one person on this planet, over 7 billion people on this planet, who is like
you.
There's not one person who has had your life experiences, not one person who has experienced
the different successes and the different challenges, the different joys and the different
pains that you've experienced.
There's not one person who has your story.
So the question is how do you draw that out?
How do you convey that?
How do you show that in a relationship?
The question is how well do you know you?
I'm going to give you three questions that you can dive deep in that will help draw out
those uniquenesses that are already inside of you to help you create an even stronger
bond and to stand out from all other women.
The first question you want to ask yourself is: what has shaped you?
All of us, we've gone through and had life experiences that have shaped us, that have
caused us to become who we are today, caused us to believe certain things about ourself
or to behave a certain way or adopt a certain part of our personality, these life experiences.
And so if you think about what are the three to five major life experiences that shaped
your personality today, that shaped who you are or shaped how you're living your life
or where you live today and then cultivate stories around those experiences.
Because when we're dating and we're getting to know somebody, how well we can convey who
we are through the stories we tell is a direct line to the connection that we have to the
other person.
Because when we're telling stories, that actually evokes emotion in the other person.
So practice cultivating three to five stories that show who you are but also, how you came
to be that way.
The second question you want to ask that helps you uncover how you're unique is this one:
where are you going in life?
You see, it's way more important, what's in front of you than what's behind you.
Way more important, where you're going than where you've been.
You see, we all know people who have been there and done that.
They've done everything.
You ask them what they want to do, where they want to go, and they're like, "I don't know."
That's boring.
That's lifeless.
That's doll.
Where do you want to go?
What are you up to?
What's on your bucket list?
Where do you want to travel to?
What new foods would you love to try?
You might want to go and experience a glass igloo in Sweden or you might want to hike
to the top of Mount Whitney or hike the Himalayas or go to Machu Picchu, right?
What would you love to do?
What ambitions do you have?
What dreams do you want to accomplish?
It's these things that create the uniqueness that is you.
It's also these things that create the image of amazing adventure for your man, where he
looks at the things you want to do and says, "Yeah, that sounds pretty good to me.
I would love to be on that journey with you."
The third question that you want to ask yourself is: what do you believe?
What do you believe is right and what do you believe is wrong?
What do you believe about theology or religion?
What do you believe in?
What do you believe about philosophy?
What do you believe about politics?
Taking time to actually explore those topics, taking time to get to know yourself.
This is one that's been evolving for me over time as I got into my thirties and then late
thirties and really asking myself, "What do I really believe now, today that maybe I changed
that belief from before?"
Giving yourself a chance to know yourself in this regard really create something interesting
because you know it's not interesting?
Someone who has no opinion, who doesn't have the courage to take a stand.
At least when you're taking a stand, then we know what you're about.
We know who you are.
Even if it's an opposing viewpoint, at least it's interesting because we have something
to discuss.
So there you have it.
Three questions that when you explore those three questions, they really help you get
to know you even better because it's you, the uniqueness of you that separates you from
every other woman.