as a little girl I used to sit on my
window and I sing yeah we shall I'm sure
the huh Michelle nehoshet ve-shel on is
the singing to the sky thinking God is
like listening somehow hello Natasha my
honey Kino I grew up in Israel secular
family of course we do the holidays and
like everybody in Israel does I always
believed in God but never really had a
let go every relationship with him
didn't really know what that looks like
go to school and go to job and get a
place to live get married have kids know
that routine is like I said okay well
what else does got to be something more
when I was 23 that was the first time I
actually left Israel to come to America
initially to visit my mom and she was
living in a spiritual community at a
time very pretty very healthy no smoking
or drinking our drugs started by a guru
from India whatever you believe is good
as long as you does good to you kind of
thing so he doesn't hurt anybody else
and I learned about yoga and learn about
well the Hindu philosophies and other
philosophies a lot of Easterns of course
philosophies it was very surreal very
peaceful there out of the craziness of
the world kind of like a bubble from the
world eventually I decided to stay there
in the course of the time that I was
there I met my husband and my husband
was very much involved with the
spiritual side of things in the
community and I started to feel less and
less connected I had different ideas but
didn't really have my own path everybody
else seemed to really find their place
or you know see the Guru there is there
you know the spiritual teacher and I
mean some people even see him as a god I
never felt that I wanted to be a part of
that I just didn't feel like this is the
way and definitely wasn't the way for me
I'm looking for God I'm looking for some
to feel God and I thought well the
closer thing to that gotta be the seed
the synagogue that's the only thing I
made sense to me I didn't even consider
churches or anything I mean that wasn't
I mean the synagogue was very
ritualistic you know you got to do this
and that indecent nana darlin to me it
never felt never even growing up it just
never felt like the way to God that got
me into a kind of like a obsessed quest
for the answers videos documentaries
Internet then his spare time that I had
was something to do with that it was
consuming me to find those answers to
get down to the bottom of this at the
time if you ask me if I'll ever believe
in Jesus oh yeah sure I'll tell you
crazy when I picked up the New Testament
I uh I was curious to see what's so bad
about it for me I needed to logically
come to the conclusion that all the
evidence and everything makes sense all
of a sudden now I'm finding out all
these things about Jesus and
Christianity and that completely
different than what I thought of it
feels like a completely Jewish book it
was all in Jewish context it made me
want to read more so to find out what
else did I not tell me because I don't
see any of that anti-semite stuff there
I don't see any anything negative or
anything Christian about it
when I read the New Testament and I
learn more about who your Shuai is and
you know and how Jewish you was and
there's nothing more Jewish that a
Jewish person can do them to put his
faith in the Jewish Messiah by the time
I finished the Gospel of John I was
willing to surrender to Yeshua there was
something about that book the way it was
written and logically it all added up
but there was that one one part that I I
was holding back on surrender to me
was like almost a defeat you know gosh I
was just by myself in my room and now
I'm down on my knees and pray that Jesus
will come Yeshua will come into my life
there wasn't any like lights or any
crazy things happen or nothing change on
the outside but you get you get that
feeling that you know where something is
right um and that's the feeling I had
and I felt like I found the truth the
truth okay I'm yours you know
you