Hey. I have a complaint...
I don't like--
Do you have a Google+ account?
No.
Well, you're gonna go over to the Google+ desk, and sign up there, and then you can make your comment.
I was sent here by Laura...
Is she an acquaintance, friend, or co-worker?
You can put her in a circle. Circle, circle, circles!
I love circles.
I'm sorry, I don't understand any of this.
Oh, nobody does. Doesn't matter. Just sign up!
Come on. Please?
Hi. I would like to be part of this year's YouTube Music Awards.
Okay. Are you a member of Arcade Fire?
Uh, no. But I'm a musician, and I'm on YouTube.
Mmm, that's not enough. Are you famous, or at least friends with Macklemore?
No.
Well, you could always make a video in your bedroom.
That's how Justin Bieber started.
I'm 40 years old.
What?
Security? Lockdown! Lockdown! One got in, old person on YouTube!
I'm not 40, I'm in high school! I have Benjamin Buttons disease! Hey, let me go! I gotta get back to work!
Hello, hello, hello... hey!
Hey, Gregory Brothers!
People only care about parodies on YouTube...
We want more views on originals that we do...
Oooohooohooo... please...
Well, maybe you need to spend more time on your originals.
I mean, that melody you just sang wasn't very catchy.
What?
People only care about spaghetti and beef stew!
They should eat lasagna and burgers dipped in fondue! Ew!
Ha ha ha ha ha! I love songs about food!
Those were literally the same notes we sang.
Only they sing them crappier.
Well, have you guys thought about singing worse, and about dumber things?
No.
It's right here in the YouTube Playbook under "Best Practices".
Hm, rabbit shaming.
I'm having a lot of problems with the live stream function. It pauses every time I try--
eh evrev
timeevchchchtrtry
The live stream function is actually flawless.
I hate to tell you this, but you have a tremendous stutter.
Oh, thank you. I never thought
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
of that.
[gasps] Oh my god, Elsa from Frozen!
Are you gonna sing "Let it Go"? Please please please please please please!
No, I am not gonna sing "Let it Go"...
Also, if I never hear that song again, it'll be too soon.
What? Why are you being so cold?
Because I am so sick of everyone on YouTube singing my song.
No more covers of my song. It's not even a good song. I just made it up on the spot.
Do you want to monetize all those cover versions?
No, I'm rich enough. I'm just sick of hearing that song!
Okay.
Also, no more covers of Royals; I'm sick of that song, too.
Hey, can I ask you something?
Make it quick, I've got princess stuff to do.
Do you... want to build a snowman?
Let it go, okay.
Let it go.
Oh gosh! Hi!
I'm having trouble uploading a profile picture.
Well, the default avatar is already of your face, so... you're all set!
That's not my face!
What are you saying, we all look alike?
You're a face-ist!
No, I...
Just stop. Where's your bathroom?
That way.
Hey! Take down that picture of me! I didn't authorize the use of my likeness!
This is booshit!
Hey there.
Hi!
I'm Dave.
Okay...
So do we just... do it whenever?
Who are you talking to?
What is that music?
I'm so nervous.
Here goes nothing!
Whoa! Whoa, whoa! Back to color!
We are not doing one of these stranger's first kiss videos!
It's a social experiment!
Out!
Just-
Whoa!
Okay, okay, sorry.
I'm just a funny guy making funny blogs by myself in my basement.
How do I get rich?
This question, again?
What you're gonna wanna do is get a time machine and go back to 2006, and then you should be good!
Whatever.
Psst, hey kid! How would you like to join an MCN?
What's an MCN?
It's a multi-channel network. We're gonna get you more views, more exposure, more money...
Why did you do air quotes when you said "more money"?
It's a nervous tick! Anyway, you want to be the next epic PewDieDawson or what?
Okay, yeah! Where do I sign?
Right here!
Your two dollars are mine now!
All mine! Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha... ah ha ha ha...
Is that time machine a real thing, by any chance?
It's still in beta.
Hello my love, I've seen all the ads for YouTube.
On TV, billboards, even the one they wrapped around the subway!
So, basically, you got me! I'm in! I'll take one YouTube, please!
Um, there's only one YouTube.
Okay, fine! How much?
I don't know. Several billion dollars?
Wha- uh...
Don't you think you should put that in the ads?
Nice try, but no thank you.
I'll buy a book instead. A Facebook!
[phone ringing]
YouTube Complaints...
Hey, what's up? It's the Dude Perfect Guys from Dallas!
We do all the trick shots and stuff.
Yeah, of course! How can I help you?
Well, we're doing this epic thing with a basketball and a catapult...
It basically shoots stuff like 3,000 miles...
...and I say we launched it probably about five minutes ago.
Long story short, you should probably duck!
Tell me that went in!
No way.
Yes.
[cheers frantically or something]
I'm a vlogger, but I get like zero hits. Any ideas?
Here, put this on and try doing it in an English accent, and act sheepish.
Sheepish?
Trust me.
Hey, guys! Um, I don't know if you like vlogs, but, um, just subscribe, I guess.
Uh, I won't go mental if you don't; perhaps we've got like loads in common! Maybe... I think.
And we can connect on that, and, um, I will be your little mate inside the computie-wootie.
I put a lot of time, energy, and thought into my comedy videos, and they get very few hits.
And if somebody can just play video games and talk for half an hour...
...and get a bajillion hits, it's just not fair!
Wait. Quiet for a moment...
This guy's awesome.
Okay, I'm gonna steal...
...the information by hacking his phone, and I'm gonna leave and go on my phone because I can just do it on my phone!
Nothing to see here! Just talking to my mom in my awesome car!
Here I go, and driving away, into that- whoops. My bad.
THAT is quality content!
I'm sorry, what were you saying? I got bored.
You know where I can find an Xbox?
Downstairs.
[phone ringing]
Complaints.
Yeah, hey, it's Rhett and Link again.
Who hurt your feelings this week?
Nobody, this time, uh, we were just calling about vacation days.
If you want to take a break, take a break.
We've got mouths to feed!
Yeah, being a YouTuber is like being a hamster on a endless Ferris wheel!
I think he means "treadmill", but listen.
We've probably made you, like, hundreds of dollars and we want vacation days!
Well, I can't offer that, but why don't you just make a video series called "Rhett and Link's Special Magical Week Off Show"?
That way, you can make a video but still be on vacation.
That's a good idea.
I love the title.
Wait, who's gonna edit that?
She tricked us again.
AAH!!!
[explosion noise]
I'm Bob, and I'm building an army!
This tank and I are against Google+!
Disconnect Google+ from the comments section or I will destroy YouTube!
10, 9, 8...
I've had just about enough with this "Bob" crap...
Nice shooting.
Thanks.
So do we just... like, do this, or... something?
☻